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Cruella inspired, MY SKIDS are wonderful, and I love them so much.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 7:35pm

My SD 15 is one of the best people I've ever met in my life. She has a heart of gold. Her and I can sit around and talk like me and my mother do. She amazes me with how respectful she is, how loving she is, how honest she is to me. I love that girl, and I know she loves me just as much. She's a spirit that I am so thankful, everyday, to know. I seriously don't know what I'd do without her. She helps me so much with my BD 2. She is a light in my life, truley.

It wasn't always this way. Sometimes we sit around and laugh about how much we both used to hate each other! She tells me now she'll never not be in my life. If her dad ever did leave me, she'd run off any other SM! LOL! I think she could do it to! Wink

SD 21, I don't have the love for her that I do for my other precious SD 15. I can't though, she was older when me and her dad hooked up, she won't ever look at me as her mother. SD 15 does look at me as a mother to her. A best friend, and a mother "figure". SD 21 and I get along, and I would walk on fire for her, but the love just isn't there yet. I haven't given up hope that one day it will be though.

My relationship with my Dh is great. He knows I love his kids, I know he loves mine, and we know we love ours together! We love our kids, to make it easier!! I know if he didn't love my son the way he does I probably wouldn't adore him as much as I do, and vice versa. I'm so glad that we have the step family that we do. It's proof positive that this step business CAN work!!

Thanks Cruella, you reminded me once again of how lucky I am.

Comments

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 7:41pm

You just made me jealous Jen;) Happy for you honey as always ((((((jen))))))

_______________________________________________________________________________
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:38pm

Hang in there Barbie. I know already, you will cry when your SD graduates. You will cry when she does because her first BF breaks up with her......with your SD, you will cry. Because you love her. I can see alot of this to come that you still question. I can see it because I know you and know your heart. Hang in there honey. It's on it's way.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:02pm

Thanks girl. I've worked at it that's for sure. You wouldn't believe how many "hurts" (or so I thought they were) that I've swept under the rug for the sake of my family. I've nearly choked on forgiveness, but I did it! YAY me! LOL! Sometimes you have to pat yourself on the back, if you don't who will? Smile

Selkie's picture

Submitted by Selkie on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:19pm

I love reading success stories! I hope that someday I'll be able to have the kind of relationship with my skids that you have with yours. It's already there with SS19. I'll be working on my relationship with SD14 in a couple of weeks. You've inspired me Jen! Thank you for sharing this.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:25pm

You're so welcome. If we can't share success along with failure we're not much of a community are we? Smile

PS...you can PM me anytime if you want any advice. I'm not saying I know it all, but as a been there done that I might be able to help out sometimes.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:35pm

Great post Jen... Smile I love my SDs to pieces too... I don't want to ever be without them and I wish they could just live with me all the time. They are smart, funny, kind, caring girls. They love me as much as I love them too. DH says they come for visitation with me instead of him. Lol. DH14.5 and I sit up late at night talking and giggling and she trusts me with all of her jr high secrets. I can't wait for them to get here in a few days for spring break. They are the best!!

Thanks for sharing and letting me share too Jen!

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:40pm

Wicked, you aren't so wicked now are you? I think mine and your relationship with our skids is alot alike. We both realize the place of the BM, and honor it. But it doesn't stop us from being Auntie now does it? Wink

That's something you and I have always had in commen, and I love it! Also, our boys are great! Your's is more perfect than mine, it shames me to admit. But mine is perfect in his own ways. You've talked me down from so many ledges with him. I don't know how mom's make it without friends like you to help them!

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 8:53pm

Nah.... I'm not wicked, I'm a pushover for my kids, that's what I am! Smile as I'm typing this I'm watching some terrible horror movie with perfectson and a couple of his friends and they're trying to shock me with high school stories of who's doing what with who.... ahhhh!!

Give me back the jr high drama! 17/18 year old boys are awful but man I love them so much!! I'm going to miss this soooooooo much next year!

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 9:01pm

WHAT???????????????

You don't sell cute puppies to make a fur jacket??????????

OMG, I'm bummed.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Sun, 03/21/2010 - 9:36pm

Ok, I have a couple of boys I'm sending right over!!! They are killing me tonight! LOL The stuff that comes out of their mouths......... hahahaa.... oh Lord help me!

stepmom008's picture

Submitted by stepmom008 on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 7:45am

I love this! I feel like I'm getting there as well. As long as I can remember that SD is NOT Wilda, that she is her own sweet, kind, caring person, we'll be okay! Unfortunately, that's the tricky part Smile

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

coySM's picture

Submitted by coySM on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 9:46am

thank you ladies for the encouraging posts. I can't wait to get there one day too. SD is 10 and I can see us being great friends one day. SS is 7. because of the gender difference, I don't know what our relationship will be like, but they both respect me and that's a great start.

rubia's picture

Submitted by rubia on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:03am

Thanks for sharing your success! I hope others will, as well. I have definitely had my share of success, though I'm not feeling it at all right now after this past weekend.

BUT, putting that aside for a minute...

My SD18 (14 1/2 when I met her dad), who physically hurt me twice in the beginning, now really looks ups to me, has some sort of respect for me, thinks I'm smart, and seems to value my opinion.

BM who used to scowl at me the very few times we crossed paths now smiles, hugs me, kisses me on the cheek, and thanks me.

DD7 and I always had a great relationship (shes been in my life since she was 3) and we have an amazing, very close, very trusting relationship. She sees me as "another" mother.

I have also made great progress with the kids' bio relatives. In the beginning, I couldn't even been seen in the car anywhere near their house (for real), and now i live in the same house as them (dif. apartment, though), and am very involved with them.

I'll try to remember some if this as I try to recover from this past weekend.

DISbelief's picture

Submitted by DISbelief on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:09am

I love reading post like this Jen. You stuck it through and now look atcha! Thanks for an uplifting post on a Monday morning. I could use more of these in my life. I hope SS and I stay close as he gets older. He is such a sweet boy, and I love him so very much!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:21am

...a stepmother who actually LOVES her skid(s)?....LOL...u know I'm j/k....I try to only read positive posts here anymore, which are few and far between,,,,we all get overwhelmed and have our "bad" days, but deep down, I love my skids as if they were my own (yes I believe it IS possible to love a child as if it were yur own....lets not start a freakin debate over THAT again)...I'm happy for u Jen :)....its so much easier to love than not to love...LOL...plus less wrinkles :)....u sound like yur in a GREAT place and I'm very happy for u Smile

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....