What a mess
Slightly off topic, since i'm not talking about MY situation... But I just found out my brother is headed for divorce. And they have 8 kids! The BM is crazy, selfish, super jealous type too. One more nice guy coming to the market, one more psychotic BM to wreck havok on a poor unsuspecting 2nd wife (assuming he even tries to find someone) and 8 messed up kids.
She's already started the ball rolling with a false report of abuse. (she filed online and met in secret with a lawyer to get a restraining order) She's been doing everything she could the last 2 months to push him and make him angry. Here he is laying with his son, trying to have a little quiet quality time (their son has leukemia and is only 9) and she has to come over and harass him again so that he got angry. Then lied and said he hit her in the report she filed.
She's been so horrible, telling him she doesn't love him, never loved him, flirting with guys on fb (she deleted her profile and made a new one just barely using her maiden name). She figures if they get divorced she can collect on about $4000/m in alimony and CS. Then she can go marry some other guy who will ALSO provide for her and her 8 kids so she'll finally have the life she always wanted.
This is such a nightmare. If anyone has any good divorce related advice to help out Fathers i'd love to hear it. Their state is pro BM, but he works from home so he can help take care of the kids cause she's too busy out shopping with his money to pay attention to them. He has a good job, his kids are his life. She's been plotting for a long time as to how to paint a rosy picture for herself so that he can't win custody. She's been abusive for so long, but he kept trying to make things work. He didn't want to break up his family.
She's such a selfish person and drama queen, and some of those kids are so small still. I'm so afraid for them if she ends up with custody. There must be some good "wish i had known before i got divorced" advice, especially for the fathers.
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Comments
Get a great lawyer and DON'T
Get a great lawyer and DON'T try to be nice. It will backfire. If she's already filing false reports he's in for it. Document everything. When it comes to court, the one with the best documentation usually wins.
There are some websites that have good advice for men. Try Thepsychoexwife.com and Shrink4men.com
Also, Record everything, phone calls, visitation exchange, etc. Especially helpful when dealing with false reports. My DH will never be anywhere with BM alone (another adult). She still accuses him of things and he's had custody since they divorced over 5 years ago.
yeah... to be honesty i don't
yeah... to be honesty i don't think he is even interested. He is more concerned with just making sure that his kids grow up healthy and loved. I don't see him looking for anyone else, even though i wish my brother was able to have a SO who loved him.
Maybe when they are all grown up he can look again.
He hasn't hire a lawyer yet though, cause most of them are saying that guys never get the kids and so forth. If they're so negative now, there's no point in hiring them cause they won't even try. Luckily he has my sister's experience in the court systems so she's trying to help him a bit with paperwork and such.
Crossing my fingers that he can find a lawyer who actually believes in him and is willing to fight for him. Otherwise, it's just wasted money.
I agree that he needs to get
I agree that he needs to get a lawyer who will kick ass in court! Definitely be a hard ass with her! Save all the receipts for anything he buys the kids while he has them. Also if he is able to do it anytime the kids fall off their bikes and get hurt somehow...have him take pics and document how each one happened! Any bruises or marks that he see's on the kids when they come over to him that look questionable...do the same thing..take pics and document! He sounds like he needs to restrict contact to email only! Heck have him record any phone calls he has with her!