Emotional Maturity
I honestly don't understand how a person can get to 21 years old and have no emotional control whatsoever.
So L (SS) is on the phone with BM, flipping out at her over basically nothing. This about five minutes after we open a bottle of champagne, celebrating G (DH)'s raise at work - all was happy times and wonderful.
No emotional control whatsoever.
On the one hand, this actually makes me feel a little better - at least L's behavior toward me isn't a personal, he-doesn't-like-me thing. He behaves like like this toward everyone, clearly. He's actually way nicer to me than BM.
On the other hand - holy hell, son, calm down. He takes everything like it's some sort of attack on him, even to people that are trying to help him. No emotional control whatsoever.
I understand that he's 21. I understand that a lot of people at 21 aren't all that emotionally mature, especially these days. But I can only go by personal experience, and at 21 I had been abandoned by my family and forced to live with strangers and work a minimum-wage retail job. I wouldn't have even dreamed of being as rude and mean as L is being to his BM right now. And BM isn't a bad person. Certainly not for putting up with his crap for twenty years.
Just... wow.
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In my case, I blame BM and DH
In my case, I blame BM and DH for SD22's emotional immaturity. They obviously spoiled her and didn't instill in her proper work ethic, or a desire to grow up and want to be on her own. She has very little respect for anyone, and makes everything into some sort of drama. Apparently she has tons of time to go partying, but it's just "too exhausting to apply to grad school and WAY too difficult to apply for jobs." Mind you, she WANTS to go to grad school. She lives in a fairy tale land because she's off of DH's payroll...it will be interesting to see what happens.
SD22 is the polar opposite of what I was at that age. I wasn't half so helpless at 16, nevermind as a college graduate.
If your BM "puts up with his crap for twenty years" it's because she knows she helped create this mess.
It only gets worst...trust
It only gets worst...trust me. SD28 and SS32 showed their ass at SD28's wedding...treating me like shit on stick. Do you think DH called them on it...HELL NO! SS is now 35 and asked for money for his wedding rehearsal dinner. DH is going to pay it all plus $800 and the bastard still owes his dad $3500. He is a blank check to them. He is not stupid...he knows it...he still kisses their ass. GO FIGURE!
Sure, I think so people are just screwed up from birh and some are just mentally ill. Most of them are assholes due to poor parenting.