I go back and forth with this all the time.  My 13SD who really isn't my SD as she no longer lives with us or sees us at all...she behaves horriibly to her father, obviously is angry at him for remarrying, so doesn't want anything to do with him at all.  She left 6 months ago to live with BM  full time and because she has been struggling social-emotionally so badly, everyone (my DH and his ex-wfe the BM and pretty my DH's family of siblings who give him advice), all told him to back way off and let her do what keeps her happy because she has been struggling with depression and making suicid