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Another rant by OSS (40 -something)

Zen mode's picture

These are becoming an every few months or even few weeks thing now. He's fine with his dad and then he's not. He praises his dad to high heaven then literally a few weeks later sends him a text telling him what a terrible checked out father he was. This is not true. My DH was between a helicopter parent and Disney dad. I would not have been able to marry him had he been still raising kids, they were very doted on and it shows as adults.

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Getting after step grandchildren.

Zen mode's picture

In raising my half dozen or so children, I never "put things away" when they were babies. My one accommodation was putting my heirloom Xmas ornaments up high and "touchable" ones down low. While still teaching not to touch.
 

When we were planning to build our home a few years ago DH was in a panic about decor and grandkids. He literally wanted to plan our decor around breakables or not. I was like uhhhhh no way not going to happen. I only had two "little ones" at the time and he had five young ones. He tried the "well what if they do xyz?" I was like why would they?
 

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Did any of you tell the SO that you’d rather not?

Zen mode's picture

Be around the SKs? I'm not really sure whether I should just say, by all means go, spend time with them, build YOUR relationship with them and the gkids, but I'll pass.

I did tell him that I am less and less inclined to organize or reach out on my own as I have in the past because apparently it makes no difference since there are all these "feelings" about "family" right now,  what I didn't say was, in fact I'm totally done doing that, no more girls nights at my initiation no more Xmas cookie making or organized Xmas outings or impromptu dinner invites initiated by me. 
 

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Sometimes people set you free by their treatment of you.

Zen mode's picture

I've tried. It's time to detach. I've been a part of these people's lives for nearly five years now and it is so one sided. It's not as bad as my first marriage and "those" kids who hated and were threatened by me at first sight, not that I really blame them at this late date. I was young, younger than two of them by 3 and 4 years and older than the youngest two by just 2 and 4 years. My immaturity combined with theirs and a toxic husband/ father was never going to work. I'm a slow learner, or was and really the step kids had nothing to do with the demise of that marriage.

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