Be around the SKs? I'm not really sure whether I should just say, by all means go, spend time with them, build YOUR relationship with them and the gkids, but I'll pass.
I did tell him that I am less and less inclined to organize or reach out on my own as I have in the past because apparently it makes no difference since there are all these "feelings" about "family" right now, what I didn't say was, in fact I'm totally done doing that, no more girls nights at my initiation no more Xmas cookie making or organized Xmas outings or impromptu dinner invites initiated by me.
I've tried. It's time to detach. I've been a part of these people's lives for nearly five years now and it is so one sided. It's not as bad as my first marriage and "those" kids who hated and were threatened by me at first sight, not that I really blame them at this late date. I was young, younger than two of them by 3 and 4 years and older than the youngest two by just 2 and 4 years. My immaturity combined with theirs and a toxic husband/ father was never going to work. I'm a slow learner, or was and really the step kids had nothing to do with the demise of that marriage.