Hi everyone, I am new to this site and actually found it by accident this morning while searching for something else related to, "step parenting." I have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years with a guy who has 3 kids from his previous marriage. We had decided once we first started seeing each other that when it came to the kids we wanted to wait awhile before introducing me into their lives because that is such a big step on both sides.

Seems like there's been a rash of BM/ExH/Stepmom advice columns lately. I read this today from Carolyn Hax, whom I usually really like.

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/family/79093667.html?elr=KArksUUUoD...

Thoughts?

BB

Well, it is the holiday season and things are brewing to get really ugly I am thinking.....

We have been having an extreme blast with SD over the past few weeks..... Thanksgiving was wonderful - and we put up the christmas tree together as a family (DH, SD, ME, BD, Sister and her kids) played music had pizza and ice cream. It was wonderful!

The night before skids were scheduled to come home a major snow storm hits. BM informs DH that SHE has to work that day (skids are off of school) and that DH needs to pick them up at 6:30am from her sitter's house because SHE has to get to work at 4am. (keep in mind it has always been that the parent with the kids is responsible for dropping them off to the other parent's home).

I'm new to all of this but hopefully I can get some advice. I have been a stepmom now for close to four years and my stepson hates me more than anything in the world. He has told him mom that I hardly feed him and when I do it's my children's leftovers. I have tried everything to try to connect with this kid and I dont know what to do anymore. There was a point where his behavior was affecting my marriage. He would tell his dad (my husband) lies so that we would agrue and he would smile and luv it. As time goes by and he gets older its just getting worse.

My DH came home tonight so mad at my Skids new SD. He went to drop them off after they were here for Hannukah tonight. We get them for an hour at sundown during Hannukah. Well he had taken Friday this week off since the kids have no school to take everyone to the new Avatar movie. We have to drive an hour away to see it in 3D. He is so excited to go. Me not so much, but if it makes everyone happy great. Well he told them in the car on the way home that he was taking them.

This months issue has a three page spread on blended families. Not a bad article and they even mention our site and the Forums. Worth getting just to see the suggestions on blending. Ironically I have tried the all - some more unsuccessful than others.

I found out recently that HD is giving $100 a month to SD for "gas money" to get back & forth to Nursing school, which we have only HER word that she is going to school. Then found out yesterday that HD is helping her to "catch up" on her car payments. All of this is coming out of his allowance that he gets each pay period. We have to do it this way because he is not very good with paying the bills. So I do it. I just told him that if he can live on that plus pay SD's car note "just this once" than more power to him.

I'm not sure if this is OT (and/or silly), but I need to vent anyway.

About 1 1/2 years ago, I interviewed and was offered a job that I really thought was promising. It was a few miles from home, and just seemed like a great place to work, which it is. However, the owner brings his dog to work just about every day. I'm allergic. I decided to suck it up and sniffle, sneeze, and take antihistamines until a better job came along, or I couldn't take it anymore. Lo and behold, I can now tolerate the dog just fine. She is very very sweet, and a fun dog to be around.

In total we have 3 boys. One of his boys is near 7 the other one is near near 4, and my son is almost 6. What can I expect as far as behaviors. I really want to build a good stong bond with skids. Is it still possible at this age.