1) I have never raised my voice to BM until the incident described in my earlier blog. I have never touched her except when she has asked me to rub her back because it was sore.

2) I have left all decisions about parenting up to BM and BF. I have never told BM what to do regarding the boys.

3) The boys being in school impacts my life significantly.

A few months ago this happened and it was very frustrating...since then I've thought that maybe the next time SS gets sick at day care that BM will take her turn in taking the day off. Last time she refused to take any of her PAID TIME OFF (my blog from that incident: http://www.steptalk.org/node/26379) and my fiance and I took half days off from work UNPAID to watch the poor little guy, and even took him to the walk-in clinic. That time she brought him to daycare knowing he was sick so that just made the whole drama even worse.

Earlier in the day on Monday, BF and I had a yelling match after some texts that he received from BM ... I'll go over that in another post sometime. But basically, I had a breakdown, stood in the middle of the family room just primal screaming for several minutes, and when BF wouldn't give me the space that I asked for I told him to get out of my house. We've worked through this ... I think ... but I am on very thin ice right now.

Going back a couple weeks, just to get some of this documented on here in case any future discussions come up where people want to know what's going on. I started an electronic journal just as this was starting ... but got lost on it because of my reactions when I sink into a depression.

This is going to be a long post.

Feel free to leave comments if you want to. If there's something that I specifically want feedback on, I will ask for it. For now, the purpose is getting it out and on the record as I mentioned above.

Wednesday, July 28th

I posted a comment on someone else's blog in polite disagreement but it was deleted. I can only guess to make it appear as though everone agrees with the OP's thoughts. So, I'm posting it in my own blog.

As far as people passing judgement on a man who cares deeply for his girlfriend's daughter,

I felt compelled to log in here and post this. There was recently a blog on here that scared the crap out of me. It was like my abuser was reaching out from 20 years ago and this letter.

TRUST ME, this blog was dripping with innapropriateness and if this blog can possibly prevent some innocent little girl from being scarred for life than it was worth it.

PROFILE OF A PEDOPHILE:

Often the pedophile is male and over 30 years of age.

Single or with few friends in his age group.

The results of Loca Grande's biopsy is in- and everything is fine. So, once again, she dragged the skids through the ringer for nothing. Got 'em all upset, "i have cancer, blah, blah, blah" and it was nothing.

Night two of our 2nd week with sd11 & 6 and it's been hell from the moment I picked them up. DH was working so I met bm and sd11 was in one of her moods because she wanted to go to an event with her grandmother 3 days from now. She didn't want to get in the car, and was screaming and crying and acting crazy!!! bm and I spent 1/2 hour trying to get her in the car. Finally, I decided I'm gonna let her (bm) handle this after all it is her daughter. 1/2 hour later we were still not any closer to sd being in the car.

OK so psycho BM made life hell when DD1 was fighting for her life in utero...brief run down she loved to make horrid comments i.e. "I will laugh when your baby dies" referred to her as "handicapped baby" and sent a text on her 1st BDAY asking how "birthday gimp" was. Flash forward to today and she sends text to DH (she is 30 weeks with #6 @ 25) and she is asking all kinds of medical questions as she has been hospitalized and the babys life is in danger. My heart says she is just a scared mother but my mind says FU!

My partner just told me that her 17 year old daughter will be coming for a week in September. Recently, the daughter, let's call her Lara, stated that it was too hard to live with us, too stressful, because her mother asked that we have one day free of her boyfriend. She's been living with her father for a month and it's been really pleasant for us. The kid has been only manipulative and shallow since I've known her for the past 7 years and has run our household. I'm dreading the return.