I posted for the first time the other day and got some good comments from people in similar situations.Dh and I are starting councelling tonight and I just hope it helps as it really is the last thing we have tried
Basically I cant put up with BM anymore ...we argue about everything she does because everything she does is so blood annoying
We have ss every other weekend ...good so far ...then whenever she feels like dropping him off on us,she lies about why she needs us to have him then always picks him up late so we cant make plans
Long story as short as possible, SD refused to speak at the Family Based therapy appointment last night and was sullen and withdrawn and when she wasn't staring at the floor, she was sharing lots of looks with BM and then glaring at BF. After BF talked a little about how he wasn't happy that BM hadn't informed him of SD's anxiety attacks and resulting 2 days out of school the other week, one of the therapists asked if SD wanted to talk now. SD and BM had another spate of looks and the therapist asked if SD should maybe express her own thoughts and not look to her mom for hers.
DH got a phone call today from HUD. There is an apartment opening up!!! She may be moving out sooner than we thought! This may be one of the best days of my life! WOOOHOOOO!
LOL I'm sure you all know what I mean by THAT! Hehe...So BF met with his divorce attorney today and played her the tape of the messages that BM had left on our answering machine. Attorney told BF that as much as she hates to say it, BF is going to have to stop avoiding talking to BM in an effort to take some of the stress off of SS. Right now, BM is starving for attention and an answer to her questions. When BF won't take her calls or return her messages or emails, and I have completely cut myself off from her for months, the only person she has to turn to is SS.
My Skids BM is not all there I think she is bi-polar or something. When the court was determining custody, both her and DH had to take some sort of test and her results came back that she had some type of mental/personality disorder which is part of the reason why DH has custody of the kids I know she has to take medication for this, and I can always tell when she is not taking her medication because she starts flipping out about crazy stuff, and it always comes back to me she will start e-mailing and calling DH non-stop accusing me of crazy stuff.
So a few weeks ago, Dad passed away. Mic requested that SS be allowed to go to the viewing. Ms. Perfect actually had a heart and let him go. I'm certainly not used to her doing anything nice or considerate, so I sent a thank you note. It didn't say much, just that we appreciated her letting SS come with us, and that her thoughtfulness concerning the situation would be returned. I sealed it up, stuck a stamp on it and dropped it in the mail.
okay, so if we do go ahead and get sd for our three-week vacation, dh can't go. i'm going with my whole family for a week to the beach, and would love to take sd with me (it was originally planned for dh, sd, and myself to go, but dh got a new job and can't get off). so if we already have her for those weeks, am i allowed to take her on the vacation? what rights do i have? she would have so much fun with her cousins and swimming and playing...i don't know if i should or not.
I am really starting to hate weekends. DH and I couldn't do anything on Saturday because we had to babysit. We made plans to go out early on Sunday, but he had misread her schedule. She started work at 10 a.m. so we got to babysit all day. I left the house at 11:00 and told DH that I needed to go anywhere, alone, because I just realized that this would be our lives for the next 13 years at least. He didn't say much.
#1 is there anyone on line that is a step mom to be?
#2 how do you deal with a child who still wants mom and dad to be together and hasnt dealt with the divorce
#3 how do you deal with a bio mom who is hell bent on ruining relationships with the step son
Over the weekend, SD brought up her birthday, which is coming up in 2 months. I was very proud of her for a) bringing it up with us at all and b) bringing it up so far in advance because up until now the way things have worked is that BM and SD discuss something and BM presents what they decided, thus either running our household from afar or making us out to be the villains when we can't or won't go by what they're demanding of us.