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DH comes home tonight.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

DH has been away for 1.5 weeks camping with his guy friends and I have been mentally preparing for his return tonight and for the coming weeks. The last weekend we were together he brought up some perceived slight his princess SD had of me during her vacation at OUR cottage. That was not the first time he brought it up either. 2 Days after her vacation here DH couldn't keep it in any longer and had to TELL me what was bothering his precious SD. I hardly reacted and it was dropped. I guess it was still bothering SD since it obviously did not cause any problems with DH and I. He continued to see her that week almost daily and of course by the weekend it was front and foremost on DH's mind. This is going back to 2 weekends ago. We were having a great weekend - the week was fine too but Satuday late aft he had to tell me again about the stupid complaint made by SD. I told him to grow a spine and tell her to keep her negative opinions about his wife to herself! He just looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. Then I proceeded to remind him that she is TRYING to cause marital problems and would like nothing more than for us to divorce so she could have daddy all to herself. He didn't believe me but it made him think. I am now 90% closer to ending the marriage. I have felt so free and at peace while he is away and imagine life would be just like that if I didn't have to deal with all the SD / DH stress. Prior to the camping trip he was gone away for 2 weeks on another vacation with mutual friends of ours. Loved that 2 weeks too! He just DOESN'T GET IT. I am going to tell him I don't want him back home for a while - he can stay at our cottage. I don't think he will like that much because then he can't visit his princess and the grand-kids daily but he needs to stay the hell away from her for a while to get his own brain and thinking back. I feel like I am married to SD these days, because everything that comes out of his mouth are her words - not his. Please give me strength and support while I go through this difficult transition. I am reading a lot. The latest books I picked up are "The Emotionally Abusive Relationship" and something to do with Verbal Abuse. They are helping me see just how wrong our relationship is and how unhealthy it is for me. Thanks again if you are reading this - I do appreciate all your comments and support.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Oh and I ordered "Emotional Blackmail" by Susan Forward. It has been shipped and will arive in 2 days. The more i read, the stronger I get. What a doofus I have been - doh.

sandye21's picture

20Year, You have really given it your best shot. When many of us, including me, would have given your DH walking papers. I agree with newwife, tell HIM to quit repeating the crap. Do you really want to know whatever conversation transpires between he and SD? Have to say though I had a similar situation to you years ago and asked DH to get a motel for a while. I had a wonderful week. But DH was calling every night, apologizing. A week at the cottage is one of the best things you can ask DH to do. Good your DH is not going to be so near to SD. Maybe the WILL give him a little silent time to think things over. It will also be a gage to let you know if thins are going to change or not. Good luck to you, and I sincerely hope your DH sees the light.