A success and a failure
I have SD19 and SS17, I have treated them both the same, I have been in their lives for 11 years but been living with their dad for 8 years. A lot of the posts on here are negative and I just wanted to say sometimes step relationships do work my SS and I live together we get on great as family members but we are not parent child in our relationships we have had our ups and downs but thankfully its been successful, I love him he loves me and we live happily hopefully ever after. SD however hates my very existence and is a nightmare. Sometimes you do not always win but for those of you struggling with stepkids please keep in mind sometimes it does work, I have worked hard on my relationships with my step kids but after 8 years one is a success the other a failure and I have now disengaged from my SD. I would say do not give up too early it takes years to be accepted but a happy outcome is never guaranteed.
Its crazy isn't it? What a
Its crazy isn't it? What a nice post though. Its nice to see some success.
I have 2 skids. SS7 and SD12. I am opposite of you, SD12 is really no problem whatsoever. Nice kid.
SS7 hates MY very existance. Actually, he acts like I a ghost and after 3 years of being ignored, watched from the cornor, glared at, hidden from and pretty much not existing, I have given up and no longer engage on anything with him. I don't see anything improving because DH doesn't seem to care his son is allowed to treat me like a ghost and I no longer have anything in me that cares enough to try anymore.
It can be as simple as SS7 asking what time is it? I will say 530. He will ask again, what time is it? I will say, 530 same as before. He will ask, Dadeeee what time is it?
I don't care if he is 7 or 4 or 30 - there is only so much ANYONE can take before throwing up their hands and saying screw it.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Thanks for the encouragement. I have two SDs - SD17 and SD15, and at the moment its mutual loathing. However, I have a friend with a grown up SD who had a diabolical relationship with her as a teen. They get on ok now. That, and stories like yours, give me a little hope.
I've always been suspicious
I've always been suspicious that girls are more likely to dislike the step-mother as they see her as direct competition for Daddy. In fact I'd bet money on it.
I didn't see my stepmom as
I didn't see my stepmom as direct competition with me for my dads attention. I saw her as a shrewd, miserable bitch... because that is what she was. She put HERSELF in competition with my mother, and talked mad shit about her on a daily basis in front of me and my sisters.
Thats where your stepmom fell
Thats where your stepmom fell down One of the golden rules is never slag off the BM in front of the kids. My rules as a step parent would be: Do not parent, I took an Auntie type of role, advised them, cared for them but never got involved with school stuff, discipline, parenting or being at war with BM. I would say rise above it all, always be polite and stay calm, give kids loads of time with their dad, I actually got a part time job on top of my full time job to give DH time alone with his kids. I took his kids out to theme parks, holidays etc and enjoyed time with them on my own. We also did stuff together its was about balance with me. I was never mean to them, if I felt SD was trying to wind me up I would start reading or go see my own family, after 11 years no blood shed between any of us only passive aggressiveness from my SD, I never gave her any reason to hate me, my SS loves me, we get on very well but as my SD hates me, thats her choice as I can say hand on heart I have done everything right just sometimes kids just do not like your very existance.