Does anyone look at the chlid's perspective?Submitted by supermom123 on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 7:29pm
I'm a stepmother of 2 girls and also a bio-mom of my two sons. I have many years of experience doing this (21+). Let's try to think from the child's perspective for a sec. The stepkid doesn't even get to lay her head down on the same pillow each night. She's not sure which house she left her stuffed animal at. Even the smells are different between the two homes. If you think about it, when we as adults divorce with children, we are asking the kids to do something that we as adults would NEVER want to do ourselves -- that is, sleep at a different house every other week (or weekend, whatever the visitation is). Oh, and by the way kids, make sure you behave perfectly no matter what is happening around you! Sure, the rules are different between the two houses, but you better try to keep up, kiddo! Don't get confused, because if you forget which rules apply to which house, that new stepmother/stepfather is gonna get mad! And yes, I'm sorry the step-parent doesn't want you around. Sure, you aren't stupid, so you notice they don't like having you around, but if you "act out" about this fact, you'll get in trouble. Don't you dare act like a child -- you have to have perfect manners at all times, especially when you are with your step-parent because by the way, they don't love you unconditionally (not your fault, but you better put up with this fact). Oh, and also, remember that your real Dad or Mom might be remarried, and so you better get along with the spouse that they chose for themselves (not that you were given a choice in this). Hey parents & step-parents out there ... Can we possibly cut the kids just a little bit of slack? I'm not trying to anger anyone out there... But I've given this a LOT of thought, from the child's perspective. I've had 21 years to think about what we are doing to the children.