boogeymom's picture

Father's Day...the True Test!

Okay, so far the whole ignoring the skids and not being involved with anything is not only going well, but apparently the skids actually interpret it as me trying to be better with them. I've been less stressed out (though DH is probably MORE stressed out, but my theory that when I stay out of it, things are acutally better is holding true). Thursday night I returned home to find a couple of flowers and a note from the skids about how I'm the best SM ever. A nice gesture, I'll admit, possibly this is also due to less harping from me. I managed to muster a thank-you that passed for sincere (I'm so mean, but it's gonna take more than that for me to actually like them). The whole weekend hasn't been bad...but tomorrow is Father's Day. The morning will be filled with MY father, a nice lunch, and doggie play-time over at my parents' house. The skids will be well-behaved as they always are at my parents' house because they know that neither I, nor my parents, play that mess whatsoever. They are always angels for my parents. The afternoon will be filled with my F-I-L...and that's when the shit is gonna hit the fan. Last time we were over at my in-laws' house, I literally had to walk out and take a breather because there's nothing the skids like more than to show-out while we're all there, and there's nothing my in-laws like more than undermining DH when he's trying to discipline him. Tomorrow will be the true test of disengagement. There will be yelling, there will be ridiculousness, the skids will act like they are 3 and 5 instead of 11 and almost 13, the in-laws will play into it, DH will be irritated, I will be irritated...but if I can stay strong in the face of the shitstorm that is seeing my in-laws/skids together, I will have mastered the art of disengagement. Pray. For. Me.

LRP75's picture

"...there's nothing the skids

"...there's nothing the skids like more than to show-out while we're all there, and there's nothing my in-laws like more than undermining DH when he's trying to discipline him."

Holy crap! I deal with the same crap in my life! The skids act TERRIBLE at the in-laws house BECAUSE the in-laws undermine every attempt to discipline the skids! There are ZERO boundaries at the in-laws house and the skids behave accordingly. It is absolutely disgusting to watch.

ALSO, the skids no longer show their asses in front of me because I don't "play that mess" either!

Me thinks we (you and I) may be twins!

On another note: It is possible to stay disengaged in that situation, BECAUSE -- there is a mind twist you put on it:

The in-laws DESERVE the way the skids behave in their home (broken furniture/belongings and stolen items and all) BECAUSE they not only don't do anything to stop it -- they actually INVITE it by doing nothing about it and by PREVENTING others from doing something about it. I think that we can even go so far as to say that the in-laws actually WANT the children to behave that way and so, the in-laws actually ENJOY it when the children behave that way.

Who are we to interfere with that? Eye-wink

I don't cater to crazy.

boogeymom's picture

Oh my God, LRP, that sounded

Shocked Oh my God, LRP, that sounded like it came from the Dalai Lama. Yes...YES...maybe they DO deserve it! Maybe they like it! This is going to be so much easier today! I don't know why I didn't think of that before. Now I'm just going to sit back and watch the circus. This is gonna be sweet.

"I'm AWARE I'm not your mother...because if I were, you WOULDN'T be acting like that."

giveitago's picture

Let them have at it, boogy,

Let them have at it, boogy, like LRP says 'Who are we to interfere?

I forgive but I am damned if I'll forget!