Does the ex always have to be brought up??? WTF
I feel like everytime I'm around my FDH's family, his ex wife's name or a comment ALWAYS gets brought up when I'm around. My FDH also noticed it (or the glare of death I gave him) When I hear her name I immediatly disengage from the conversation, I honestly block everything out bc I really don't care to hear about her and I walk away. He spoke to his family about it and that it's disrespectful and him nor I care to hear about her, she is a part of his past and he wants to leave it in the past. I'm glad he spoke up bc if I did, I would be rude about it and they were about to hear it. He told them we weren't going to come around anymore.
Has anyone experienced this??? I do feel his family likes me (or they are probley just super fake and good at it) I just don't understand WHY esp his mom always brings this bitch up around me??!!!!!
Had the same issue for the
Had the same issue for the first few years and until DH made a huge stink about it, it didn't stop. They still do it some times but not as bad.
I don't get it either because my family doesn't do this regarding MY ex?
Thats what I told him! My
Thats what I told him! My family has never brought up any of my ex's around him and how would he feel if they did??? EVERYTIME?????
Yep. It happened all the
Yep. It happened all the time.
I didn't let it bother me, though, cuz I just smiled and said, "too bad she couldn't keep DH!"
Yeah. Their jaws dropped. Hasn't happened since.
LOL, if there is a next time
LOL, if there is a next time which I'm sure there will be I was planning on saying something like that! Like yea well tobad she's not around anymore, seems like you guys really miss her???? And just walk away, All I know is that it gets really old!!!
Good one - until he leaves
Good one - until he leaves you. Just sayin......
OMG I have the SAME
OMG I have the SAME ISSUE!!!!!!!!!!
EVERY SINGLE TIME we go to a family event (they live close) that's all we hear about from his mom. Well BM mother told me this and she told me that and did you know BM got this and she got that and she is doing this and she is doing that?! And I mean EVERY time we go there. I have started getting up and walking out. My daughter moved to the same town they live in so I just say I'm going to see my daughter. See you later. My SO has told her we don't care what BM does. We don't care that she got this or got that or is sad or what ever. I spoke up to SO brothers wife about how I was feeling her response was this:
BM will ALWAYS be family because she is the mother of my niece and nephews you can either deal with it or don't..........
I was flabbergasted. Because SHE is one of the ones who is always bad mouthing her when we are all together. She chimes in on the conversations just as much as my SO mother. I voiced my concerns to my SO and he totally agreed with me. But his mom doesn't care. She just keeps running her mouth (she and BM remained friends after the divorce) and they see each other once a week. So she gets filled with all the new news regarding BM and it just kills her NOT to talk about it. She isn't talking nice about BM but it's still talking about her. And frankly she is the past. I don't give a shit about her.
Yea I feel like there is a
Yea I feel like there is a lot of two-faced behaviors going on, they act like they can't stand her (she acts like she can't stand them bc she tells SD all this bad stuff about them) but then I feel like it's always rubbed in my face when I'm around. Thats fine if they want her to be a part of their family but she is NOT part of mine and they can keep her to themselves!
I would be super annoyed if they were that close like seeing eachother every week but WHATEVER! Everyones true colors eventually come out, and I feel the same way I do not give a shit about her and I really don't care to hear about her either, I already have to hear enough from SD
It's stopped now but, yes,
It's stopped now but, yes, all I heard from the kids was 'remember at out old house daddy?' and such like. I get that they want to draw on good memories and we took some time to build up new ones too. I told them one night, at dinner, that I would leave them to their reminiscisng and walked away.
Ditto on this ^^^^^ We
Ditto on this ^^^^^
We couldn't even go out to a restaurant without BM being dragged into the conversation by the SK's.
DH: How's your steak?
SK: Mom makes it better.
DH: Do you want a soda?
SK: Mom would prefer I stay away from the colas.
and on it goes... it still happens, after all these years.
But as far as DH's family, no, they rarely (if ever) bring up the BM. Once in a while they'll comment on something ridiculous that she's done or said but for the most part, they keep her completely separate from us.
We didn't talk about
We didn't talk about her--because she was always there! I kid you not, until this year (5 yrs we have been married) BM went to every family holiday, MIL's birthday celebration, you name it. Fortunately we moved away 3 1/2 years ago and don't have to deal with it. Finally DH told me he agrees it's a bit over the top. I used to get so livid when they would all call on a holiday (talk to DH round robin) and BM was there. It's like get a life, they are not your family anymore. The kids were teens and could drive plus most events were walking distance (they all live in the same town) so it's not like she had to bring them.
Like so many situations, they told DH they never liked her, she was bad about being involved with the family--then, ta-da--after we got married, she's up their butt and vice versa. Too weird. I guess it's a case of the devil you know...ha ha.
Oh hell no!!!!! Seriously! It
Oh hell no!!!!! Seriously! It sure isn't her family! Thats just weird :jawdrop:
Oh, and they do the cutesy
Oh, and they do the cutesy gift thing on holidays--the first Easter we were away, I saw that SIL1 (the witch) had bought BM the same little bunny statue she got other sisters and MIL (we had gone by BMs to see SD and SS). Did I get one? Hell, no. LOL! I just got the real prize--DH...
Every single time his parents
Every single time his parents are around they talk about BM. It makes me want to throw up. They are not saying good things but still, I don't want to hear her name!!
Every holiday we sit around the table and they talk about her. I finally mentioned it to DH that I would poke myself in the eye with my fork if her name is mentioning while I am eating my Easter dinner. Sure enough MIL says her name and DH looks at me like oh crap and I laughed so hard I almost spit food across the table!!
So I noticed last weekend we were there and MIL brought up her name again and me and DH walked away from her. She looked confused, it was so funny!
Noone mentions my dh's ex.
Noone mentions my dh's ex. EVER. Seriously, they were together for two decades and its like she never existed. She exists now as nothing more than SD's mother and rarely does anyone even mention that. My dh never talks about her. He never compares me to her. HE never mentions that they did anything together, went anywhere together or otherwise had any thing to do with one another. Obviously, I know they did. Hell, they used to live in this house (I've completely remodeled it), but you'd never know it. In my dh's words "I have no good memories with her and in my head she is dead". I lucked out on that front!
My FDH hates her, he never
My FDH hates her, he never brings her up or makes me feel like he's comparing, he tells me everyday how happy he is and grateful to have met me and feels he has a whole new life, it's his stupid mom that brings it up, something as stupid as going tanning and they used to do that together....my FDH said she's full of shit! So now I'm like really? you are going to create lies just to bring her up around me??? WOW
OMG, his mom sounds like a
OMG, his mom sounds like a nightmare. Fortuately, dh's entire family acts as though she never existed. Noone mentions her in anyway - good or bad. They talk about family events as though she wasn't present.
Thats how it should be!
Thats how it should be! Atleast your DH's family has respect and are considerate of you! His mom is a nightmare!
Me too! I don't wanna hear
Me too! I don't wanna hear it!!!! OMG I would freak if anyone called me by her name!!!!
Agreed ^^^^^
Agreed ^^^^^
I never hear them talk about
I never hear them talk about her. Word on the street is, they aren't very fond of her. She apparently has a drinking problem.
After 5 years I am still
After 5 years I am still listening to this BS. It doesn't STOP. At first BM would come into the house and HANG out with FMIL. DH had to put a stop to it because it was getting so out of hand - she would even go into his room if we were getting ready to go somewhere just to see what HE was doing? FMIL would say, "go on in." FMIL also likes to 'call' BM for no reason...just to gossip - yet critiizes her to the stepkids...she only has nice things to say about her when I am around...go figure. One time FMIL yelled at DH because BM said, :He is only nice to me when SHE is not around" and of course - FMIL pointed her finger at me. Oh and she SITS next to her at events...not me or DH - she goes off and sits with BM and her family. It's cute...let me tell you. did I mention - this woman has no contact with any of her other son's baby momma's? I call them the sperm squad - DH has two girls - his older brother has 2 boys to his previous marriage - on top of a son and daughter to his wife - and his other brother has two boys to his previous marriage - and just left his new baby momma...so that makes 5 baby momma's total and she only talks to this one...I've decided she does this because BM is just as crazy as FMIL...I figure hey - go ahead and do what you'd like with her - stay out of my hair. I have no time for disrespectful idiots like that in my life anymore. It's disgusting - especially with the crap she teaches her young daughters - "Hey it's okay to have babies with your boyfriend..." - then leaves that boyfriend and has a new one...cool.
My DH & I was just talking
My DH & I was just talking about all this, this past week. Im tired of it & bored of hearing crazy BM stories when we are around the in laws.its gotten old!! Dh talked tO his mom about a yr ago and asked her to quit it. We were at my MILs house abt a yr ago. We were newlyweds, and about two mnths after we got married, we were all sitting around outside talking. My MIL started talking with everyone and reminising about how big & gorgeous my DHs wedding was. Nope, wasnt talking about our wedding-- she was once again talking about DH & BMs wedding & on and on about how great it was. I got up and left. FH came inside shorly after and he finally saw it for himself. He had a talk with MIL. It stopped for the most part, but she is still brought up quite a bit. It sucks!!!