when i first met dh, the sun rose and set on ss8 (i met him when he was 3). if dh told ss to take off his shoes and ss replied "no, because I want to be ready to leave when you leave" dh would laugh and call his son cute because "he always want to go somewhere with daddy". i watched as dh never really fully corrected disrespecful behavior and whenever i said something about it, i was accused of not liking his son. now ss is diagnosed adhd and getting suspended from second grade. dh wants to blame all the behavior on the result of bm's parenting. yes, she is extrmemely disorganized and disengaged from parenting, but dh has his issues too. dh does not want to incorporate any of my ideas into the parenting. he claims that i am too mean and speak too forcefully when giving directions and he doesn't want ss to be raised with that sort of mean tone. So, i am expected to "nicely" correct ss when he is disrespectful and argumentative and also when he does not do what he is asked to do the first and second times. I am educated and a former middle school teacher and when i remind my husband of this he just flags me off. his son is becoming a bonified asshole and my dh refuses to do anything because we only have him eow and summers and he doesn't believe that discipline only during those times will work when ss is only going to return to a bm who really doesn't care what he does as long as he's not bothering her. i am fed up. this kid gets kicked out of second grade for 2 days and really doesn't care. dh took tv and snacks away from him this w/e, but ss grinned like he really didn't care at all. i am disgusted!!!! any advice????