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Need a Babysitter for TEENAGERS?!

Lioness77's picture

As youve seen in my previous posts, it seems we never catch a break with his kids. FSS16 was dropped off at my FDHs house on Weds nite by the police, drunk, and had stolen a tip jar with another kid. So--now FSS. Is he grounded? No. Because FDH cannot control him and gives up on trying. Hes waiting for the court date to come to send him away from a long time this time. This weekend, my kids go to their Dads. Like usual, I will spend my weekend with FDH at his place so we can spend time together. Can we go on a date? No. Can we go have a drink? No. Go to a movie? No. Go to the store alone? No. Why? FSS and FSD cannot be left alone without a babysitter. 16 & 13 y/o and he has to get a sitter or stay home and be held hostage because they dont behave, wont listen and in FSD case, when shes not getting what she wants she seeks attention by trying to cut herself or even if its only minor, she will sulk and cry. YET! She wont call a friend to have a sleepover even at her own house, and she doesnt want to go to a friends house to spend the night. So, here we will sit, another weekend, trapped in the living room of this tiny house, sitting with two teens who cant behave, wishing we had a babysitter and a chance to have some freedom. And its all because he wont hold his ground and teach them accountability. Because they wont behave, we are held hostage and have to be miserable all weekend. Stuck. Cant go anywhere without them or without a sitter. at 13 & 16, OTHER kids, including my daughter and even ME at age 11, are already BABYSITTING themselves... but these two cannot be left alone... It might as well be a wasted weekend. Im sorry to sound mean and I know we could all "spend time as a group" but nothing makes them happy.. we just want some adult time.. Ok--thanks for listen ing. SO PIST.

alwaysanxious's picture

Why do you feel obligated to spend the weekend there? You aren't going to get alone time with him, you aren't going to enjoy yourself, right?

Why not find something else to do? Maybe go see him for a couple of hours one night and leave him to baby sit HIS progeny himself. I bet you could find a lot of stuff to do. Once you start, you'll see that it makes your life so much easier.

noki's picture

We have a similar issue. DH just says "kids will be kids, you can't stop them from getting in trouble" but I beg to differ. We fight about it all the time but I will not let her have a house key, and take it any time she gets one and throw it away. I don't want to be harsh, but this is MY house too, and I'm not going to let her stay home alone and trash it!

With SD 16, we are always encouraging her to hang out with friends too, but she never does. I'm not sure if it's laziness, or she just doesn't have any :/ (when i was 16, i was always with my friends! That seems so weird for a teen to not be social!!) either way, I feel your pain!