still waiting's picture

Ways to Get Rid of Your Step Kids

A lot of step parents (and parents in general) have problems getting their kids to leave the nest or have problems with their teenage step kids and want them gone. I feel like my life is on hold waiting for my boyfriend’s sons to finally leave home so we can move in together.

Since a lot of us are in the same boat, I put together some suggestions on how to get rid of annoying step kids: Laughing out loud

- If your adult skids keep saying they can’t find a job, make sure they know there are plenty of job opportunities in Alaska and North Dakota.

- Advocate the advantages of going to boarding school. They can learn to be independent and it’s like Hogwarts!

- Encourage your skids to be foreign exchange students! You can even replace them for the year with interesting non-skids from other countries.

- Make your house all vegan. No meat or animal products are allowed to be consumed/worn.

- Encourage them to be all that they can be in the military and let them know that being stationed overseas is such a wonderful opportunity to travel.

- Tell them joining the Peace Corps looks good on their resume.

- Running off and joining the circus can be fun!

Any other ideas?

Auteur's picture

(No subject)

Eye-wink

The only thing these biodads should feel guilty about is the fact that they didn't wear a condom.

frustratedstepdad's picture

When you have sex, be as LOUD

When you have sex, be as LOUD as possible.

Four stepdaughters. Sweet baby Jesus help me.....

madrasta's picture

LOL!

LOL!

alwaysanxious's picture

HA!!!

HA!!!

"There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe."

I do my own thing because I have, check this out, a life." -tskarbow

Shaman29's picture

Love it....so will DH!

Love it....so will DH!

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

-Roddy Piper

Stepmommy06's picture

Is this a joke?

Is this a joke?

madrasta's picture

Please lighten up! Of course

Please lighten up! Of course it is a joke. If we can instill a little humor into a situation that we are having a hard time with it makes it easier to deal with.

planningMyEscape's picture

Is your question a joke?

Is your question a joke? Seriously, lighten up.

I for one, appreciate all the ideas posted. LOL. Smiling

frustratedstepdad's picture

Actually, once they're

Actually, once they're adults...it's no longer a joke. Plenty of adult skids living up under mommy and daddy's wing....

Four stepdaughters. Sweet baby Jesus help me.....

alwaysanxious's picture

Adults skids living at home

Adults skids living at home is no laughing matter. Laughing out loud

"There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe."

I do my own thing because I have, check this out, a life." -tskarbow

Jsmom's picture

I found that just no longer

I found that just no longer taking her crap had a trickle down effect, leading to her out of my house....

Auteur's picture

(No subject)

Eye-wink

The only thing these biodads should feel guilty about is the fact that they didn't wear a condom.

hbell0428's picture

I always joke about her 18th

I always joke about her 18th b-day present......a u-haul full of boxes....she laughes........she thinks I am joking!! Evil

“My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” - Buddy Hackett

Shaman29's picture

DH's kid constantly brings up

DH's kid constantly brings up her graduation present, meaning she wants DH to finance a fabulous trip for her. The last time she brought it up I laughed and laughed until she dropped the subject.

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

-Roddy Piper

helena_brass's picture

How about going Amish?

How about going Amish?

Kes's picture

I watched a TV programme

I watched a TV programme about the Amish recently - they were playing host to some English kids visiting. Apart from the rampant religion - their way of life really appealed to me. Do they take in middle-aged English SM refugees?

Veteran disengaged SM of 14 years.

helena_brass's picture

They might, but you could

They might, but you could never use StepTalk again!

beyond pissed-off's picture

Kes - I thought I was the

Kes - I thought I was the only one! Their way of life seems so peaceful and productive and respectful. It really appeals to me - especially with all the stress in my life right now. Physically hard work and no conveniences - but in an atmosphere where people were actually nice to me - sounds like the most wonderful thing on earth!

Unfortunately I am agnostic so that would be a rather BIG stumbling block but maybe I could find a way to work around it? If you ever figure out that part let me know. Maybe they can start a program for us "refugees" - if only for a few weeks of peace here and there!

bi's picture

you can come spend a few days

you can come spend a few days with me. i live right in amish country. for real. we have a lot of amish neighbors and a delicious bakery a few miles away where the amish sell food they make right there in their own home based bakery. you can go buy some goodies and ask for a tour!

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

Shaman29's picture

Actually....DH's kid was in

Actually....DH's kid was in the running to be a foreign exchange student but Uberskank talked her out of it. She would have lost her live in housekeeper/babysitter for 11 months.

***Charge them rent if they express an interest to live with you after HS graduation. Explain regardless of the rent, they still have to follow house rules and pitch in everyday on dishes and upkeep.

Trust me....this was my parents rule and I was out of the house within a month. Eye-wink

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

-Roddy Piper

mamamomo's picture

LOL I checked out boarding

LOL I checked out boarding schools a few months ago

Agged and Fragged's picture

Charge rent comparable to

Charge rent comparable to renting a room in your community. This should include separate bills for all utilities (including cable). Make them provide their own food (even if that requires them to go on food stamps) and they cook said food, ditto laundry. Also, bathroom access and laundry times need to be scheduled in advance. Their room will be subject to weekly inspections and needs to be maintained in a clean and orderly fashion (they actually do this in the military). They will be expected to participate in chores in the common areas, overnight guests are NOT permitted under any circumstances and set a permanent curfew (why should other people be awakened by them stumbling around at 3:30 a.m.?)

The more pleasant the living situation is, the longer adult children will milk it.

beyond pissed-off's picture

Get rid of all the

Get rid of all the televisions and put a Faraday Cage around the house so that no internet or cell phone signals can get through - total non-tech zone. They'll be gone faster than they can say "OMG - I can't text my BFF - WTF!!!" Evil Smiling

duct_tape's picture

If you're waiting for them to

If you're waiting for them to move out so that you and bf can move in together...then you should be working on the bf. Send him pics of what you will be wearing Eye-wink and describe what you will be doing to him once you both feel free to get raw. Evil He'll get 'em gone. He just needs a little poke and prod.

“The level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the level of connection children feel with their parents.”
- Pam Leo

Just US's picture

LOL...We moved cross country

LOL...We moved cross country once and I accidentally forgot to give my husband's kids the correct address and state. Whoops...it took his ex-wife a couple months to local us. Smiling

Just US's picture

My husband's children are now

My husband's children are now in their 30's but now they show up with step-grandbrats. It's a nasty cycle you get rid of step-brats they come back with their own kids and they want you to care about them too. It's easier now as my husband's ex-wife was called home to heaven several years ago.

djc6666's picture

I WANT THEM GONE A.S.A.P. I

I WANT THEM GONE A.S.A.P.
I have 2 stepson's at home, both work!, non of them can manage money!, 1 who's 21 is on a debt management plan with a company who's supposing to be helping him?.
The other who is 18 who is financing a scooter for leisure/transport, throws money away like water going down the drain.
They treat this house like a hotel - clothes washed (every day) each, food prepared or a phone call to ask what they would like & to tidy up after because they pay board (as they keep reminding us) when they get pulled up about something.
My wife bends over backwards for them, she's cleaning out there room as I write this, so it's tidy when they come home.
This is my house, they don't respect it, they break it I have to fix it, they get ratty or moan about what they've done at work, we have to put up with the attitude they come home with.
BUT - not anymore, I've had enough, they start tonight and they are out and the wife will follow if she starts as well.
I have a 8 year old daughter living in this house as well & she's listening to all what goes off, not nice for her.
Thanks for reading my ranting.

DJC

Gofersatchmo's picture

I have the same thing here

I have the same thing here except I don't get a dime!!!

dledden's picture

my biggest fear in this LIFE

my biggest fear in this LIFE is that my skid, who happens to be high functioning autistic, will NEVER get the eff out.....course I worry that about my 2 bios too! I don't discriminate, i want EVERYONE gone when they are adults Smiling

If GOD wanted me to LOVE my SKID, he'd have made me his BIO MOMMA!!!

LikeAYoYo's picture

Hey all, ok, first a little

Hey all, ok, first a little background... so I am a dreaded step-child aka SKID (lol...who came up with that...bc we 'put the skids on all parents-step), lol...ok. So myself, I'm very educated... graduate-level education from an IVY-league University and a multitude of difficult military courses, as well as 8 yrs active duty, including tours as a Ranger and Green Beret(special forces). Yes, I was deployed for more than half my career and no, I did not kill innocents. I also worked as a federal investigator for 2yrs before resigning and returning to the area I am from. I am an adult who did not meet my father until I was 23 (he introduced himself to me when I was a grad student) and have known him for about 10yrs now.

So over the years I had been away for periods and back, as I went away to serve my time in the service, went to school different places, worked for the govt in other capacities. But, when I would come back we would get together maybe once a week/once every two weeks to have some drinks, this continued as I would be in and out of town periodically, usually away for years.

Okay, so I never asked to be inserted into this guy's life (and, quite frankly, about 7-8yrs ago realized I wish I'd never met him). I have so much more due to my being independent and alpha-type than his current wife and adult children (who live with him), that they are all just truly insignificant little people. Just friggin simpletons. So this woman (his wife) suddenly accuses me of 'stalking her and her family'(I don't even know where most of them live), murdering people, changing all my personal data (bc apparently all federal employees can do that??? think she's nuts yet?), trying to 'steal her house' (how does one steal a house? Must be some secret-squirrel-super-ninja trick), stealing tens of thousands of dollars from her credit cards and bank accounts, dealing drugs....the list goes on

Did I mention I retired after 8yrs with full pension and benefits due to the fact I was in a catastrophic IED explosion? That's why I left the military. So, in fact, my retirement that I get for the rest of my life is more than his and that which she will receive when she retires(she's much younger than him (20yrs).....can we say GOLD-DIGGER) lol...

So up until a year ago, I could have hour-long very rational conversations with this woman... things were fine... then, there were a few small accusations...these came while I was actually halfway around the world or on the opposite coast (very far away, lol). So, they were deemed impossible??? Not quite: unknowingly, I was the scapegoat for alot of things people did. I was actually accused of assaulting a friend of hers when I was 2500 miles away from the scene....and hadn't seen her in years.... she told the cops 'IT MUST BE HIM!!'

Is this how it's done? illegitimate claims to crimes and unwarranted legal action because she's flipped...or is it something more? So over the past 6 months I have been the subject of numerous false police reports, slandered in every way possible, and just lied about in every way possible. I am receiving calls from local law enforcement every few weeks; is this how a step-parent rids themselves of a 'SKID'? I only ever saw my father periodically...and quite frankly, these ppl are all dirtbags, but he is my father and we used to have a good time together.

So is it the fact that I am so much more successful than her children? Is there jealousy? Is it the fact that one of my younger brothers (one of her sons)has the SAME NAME (I know, right, creepy-weird, huh?)? Are the details of my life opportune to falsely accuse me of these EXTREME claims? Did she give him an ultimatum: never see him or talk of him again or I'll leave you and take everything? I think they are all more than likely and it is the case. Hey, it takes all types in this world and some are just 'the other woman'....you know...'the other woman'

I will say this, though...to this day, I have never done a thing to disrespect his woman or wrong her, nor will I....I'm too good for that.

But is this behavior you hateful step-parents would stoop to, as well? It really disgusts me, but I would like some honesty, here. Her utter mendacity and animosity is quite impressive, to say the least. I am everything that you could hope a child would become... I'm (more than) self-sufficient, have always made more than enough money, educated, my service to my country fulfilled, I was set for life by the time I was 27yrs old...and he had nothing to do with my life(no, not even child support) until I was 23....and as I said, I wish he never stepped foot into it, because many of his family...uncles, cousins, other brothers, etc have bonded with me, don't get me wrong, I like them....but theyre all just below me, but then what makes me feel this way, in the end, is the evil stepmother. It's not their fault, but she's just so full of hate.

Tell me whatcha think, I appreciate honesty and will reply.

Later

anotherstep2's picture

We are talking about people

We are talking about people who are over 18 who make no effort to EVER leave their father's house and prefer to lounge in their underwear playing videogames literally all day and night. And usually there is a long history of these people being openly hostile to the stepmother and treating their father as nothing more than walking wallets. There is no comparison to your situation beyond the fact that you happen to also have a stepmother. You may not like her and she may not like you but you may want to consider that your suddenly coming into her life was no more in her expectation than it was in yours. Neither of you were exactly in a prime position to become best buddies!

cinderella777's picture

I don't want to be mean, but

I don't want to be mean, but you come across as VERY full of yourself, VERY arrogant and blowing your own horn. Almost your whole post was pointing out how awesome you are.
No one really needs to know about your Ivy League education and how much money you make. I have learned that "success" is not measured by a degree or money or materialistic possessions. It is measured by who you are inside, if you are a good, kind person in this life.

Here is what I'm referring to:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So myself, I'm very educated... graduate-level education from an IVY-league University and a multitude of difficult military courses, as well as 8 yrs active duty, including tours as a Ranger and Green Beret(special forces).

that they are all just truly insignificant little people. Just friggin simpletons.

So, in fact, my retirement that I get for the rest of my life is more than his and that which she will receive when she retires

So is it the fact that I am so much more successful than her children? Is there jealousy?

I am everything that you could hope a child would become... I'm (more than) self-sufficient, have always made more than enough money, educated, my service to my country fulfilled, I was set for life by the time I was 27yrs old

because many of his family...uncles, cousins, other brothers, etc have bonded with me, don't get me wrong, I like them....but theyre all just below me,

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How DARE you think anyone is "below" you?! Because of your "Ivy League" paper and some cash??!!

Maybe she can sense your arrogance and over abundance of self love. You seem like a total narcissist (of course, if you are one, you would NEVER realize it because that would mean you would have to think you are not perfect) That does not excuse her actions. She sounds like
she just doesn't want you around, period - so I would go with that. Maybe those "simpletons" will find someone else to bother. Just block her and move on with your life.

Iamwoman's picture

Hi there! I am a bio mom and

Hi there! I am a bio mom and a step mom. From what I have noticed this is a trait that runs in Caucasian woman (I am Caucasian). As a race, we evolved from a cold, harsh climate with limited resources. This accounts for higher intelligence on average, but also accounts for a survival instinct that involves greater monogamy. As a woman in, let's say caveman times, we would not want those limited resources going to offspring that is not our own. There is a basic instinct to ensure the survival of our own offspring, and in ancient days that would include "ridding" the offspring our man may have created with another woman. Any of his hunting spoils, attention, care and need to protect would then be reserved solely for our own offspring. This really is just a primal instinct. Compared to cultures where monogamy is rare and food plentiful, such as Africa or equatorial areas, you may see that descendents from those regions are more accepting of other people's offspring in general. I would venture to say that your "step mom" (I put that in quotes because she never actually mothered you), probably never knew about your existence until recently. She doesn't sounds like she possesses even average intelligence, so I'd guess she is acting on her primal instincts here. She may even feel like a bad person but just can't help herself. You have appeared in her life, and are now taking her husband's energy, time, thoughts, and possibly resources (gas money, lunches out, etc). She may fear that you will also take an inheritance eventually. What I think is the high problem for her right now though IS because you are such an awesome person, you only make her kids look that much worse by comparison, and highlight the fact that compared to your mother ( her husband's ex), that she is not as good of a mother. She may harbor fears that now your dad may be thinking back and romantacizing his past relationship with your mom.
It is precisely because you ARE so awesome, combined with the fact that you simply exist to take up space in her husband's mind and attention that she despises your existence, not you as a person.
I have to say that I secretly hope my own daughter will be way more successful in life than my ungrateful, alienated stepsons. I would never admit this to my husband though. I treat them well and fairly and they don't know how I really feel. This is called being civilized. It does bother me that resources go toward the survival of kids that aren't mine, and I would be sad for my husband if they disappeared off the face of the planet, but as an anonymous poster here, I feel free to admit that I would not miss them, and a part of me would be calmer all around as energy time and resources would then focus on my own brood. Intellectually I know this is barbaric, and my stepsons do like me as I treat them like I would want to be treated if I were them. However, this disengagement from biology requires a certain level of intelligence, a great amount of restraint from saying something that I would regret, and often times playing a generous, loving role that goes against my genetic fibers.
I hope this helps you understand her horrible behavior a bit. I think over 90% of stepmothers have fantasizes about how wonderful it would be if their skids simply didn't exist, but it takes a real cretin to act upon those feelings. BTW, skids is in reference to "skid marks," - a disgusting reference that refers to dirty underwear, not skidding on a stret or anything.
On another note, I would be ecstatic if I could trade in my stepsons for you. I bet you don't pee all over the toilet seat, and probably wouldn't take me for granted.

Gimlet's picture

From what I have noticed this

From what I have noticed this is a trait that runs in Caucasian woman (I am Caucasian)As a race, we evolved from a cold, harsh climate with limited resources. This accounts for higher intelligence on average, but also accounts for a survival instinct that involves greater monogamy.

Please cite peer-reviewed sources for this claim.

"I'd rather have sex with a cactus." - Aniki

"Plant your own garden, and don't wait for someone to bring you flowers." - via FruitSalad704

givemesugar's picture

Just read anything in

Just read anything in evolutionary psychology! There is a tonne of books, research and articles on it!! I also just studied this in full force this semester for my thesis.

still learning's picture

Interesting, I recently read

Interesting, I recently read about a polygamous tribe in Africa where the male children had less of a chance of survival than the female children. This was due to the other wives poisoning them so that their son(s) would have a better chance at a position of power (This may have been in Stepmonster). Also read books about the Mormon polygamous culture and you'll see that the plural wives are (in most cases) not too friendly towards the other wives offspring. There is extreme jealousy and competition for place in the family and affection. There was very little tolerance for the other wives children even though they all had the same father.

Then there was the guy recently in the news who was a free sperm donor to many women. One of the mothers said that the other mothers were jealous and she didn't get along with them. So I'm not sure where the info is coming from about polygamous cultures being more tolerant of others children. I have studied evolutionary psychology and would love to see sources on those claims.

That awful moment when you realize this IS your circus and those ARE your monkeys!

Rags's picture

-Give them regular

-Give them regular installments on the joys and adventures of eloping at a young age.
-Turn them into your live in beck and call boys/chore bitches.
-Pimp them out to local farmers to harvest crops by hand.
-Leave emancipation applications all over the house.
-Fart a lot when the Skids and their friends are around.
-Serve only foods that they hate.

The one that worked for me permanently.... adopt them. Then they are no longer your Skids.

Give me some time. I will come up with others.

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian, not a buddy.-Rags
If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR
If you want to be a part of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags

cinderella777's picture

LMAO Leave

LMAO Smiling Smiling Smiling Leave emancipation applicatons all over the house hahaha

SweetMom's picture

Un plug the wi fi box

Un plug the wi fi box constantly on and off just to screw with them

cinderella777's picture

OMG I love every single item

OMG I love every single item on this list. This list is hilarious! just what I needed this weekend! LMAO!

Rags's picture

-Hack their game systems so

-Hack their game systems so it resets back to the very beginning of their game anytime they save.
-MILITARY SCHOOL!!!!!

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian, not a buddy.-Rags
If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR
If you want to be a part of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags