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What the??

CandyLou's picture

Okay so as you know BF had his birthday recently. Well BM text him to say Happy Birthday which I thought was really strange. She has never text him in the four years we have been together which leads me to believe she was hoping since he left me at Christmas that there was trouble in our relationship and she may have a chance to get him back?? But anyway, she had her own birthday recently and I assume she must have whined to her kids that their dad didn't have the courtesy to respond to her precious text, and the next thing, SD is cancelling dinner with BF! Of course BF says there is no link between the two, but come on. SD said it wasn't nice that her dad didn't respond to the message, "she was just trying to be nice dad". But wouldn't you think after 8 years she would realize it's time to move on? She has had her own partner now for 5 years, but obviously she isn't happy.

Why are people so difficult?

wicked's picture

Talk about dysfunctional. SD is trying to "parent" her parents. She obviously feels she can control them - she is using a punishment to control her dad. It would be healthy for everyone if someone could let that girl know that her parents are grown ups who can handle their own problems and she does not need to play referee.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Got you beat.....we've been married 12 yrs, together 14 and dh divorced 6 months before we met.

BM text him a happy birthday message as well and the first since their divorce that he can remember. WTF???? This time last year you were calling him a disgusting dad worthless, lousy, you let your DD (my SD) read emails that were between parents???? You've done your damage into the relationship of the skids and our house you've succeeded at playing your games.... what game is this?

DH simply responded Thank you back.

If the skids mention the BM's birthday in front of us, of course we will be nice and say...hope she has a good bday, but done done done being friendly.

And on a side note, when the kid has had to be the parent in their custodial house- or the adult- then it is easy to play that role and try to make peace.

iloveit's picture

Ok this drives me CRAZY. While I haven't had to deal with the birthday issue because BM hasn't even spoken to SO in over a year, we had something else that was even more disturbing. We had been together for several months when BM showed up at the apartment and sat in a car with a friend for over 3 hours. Well aparently she went back and told SD20 that she went to speak to her father and he wouldn't even come out of the apartment! Um no...that's not quite what happened sweetheart. She stalked us out for hours and then when my SO finally realized who she was and what she was doing he went into the parking lot and asked her to leave. She was offended by this? He said it was uneccesary for her to show up like that and if she wanted to speak with him she could call him and that it wasn't the right time to have a conversation with her outside of the apartment when there were people around that he cared about (me). SD20 brought it up a couple of days later and said, "mom said you wouldn't even come out to talk to her other day when she came over, she just wanted to talk." :jawdrop: My SO said, no SD20 that's completely incorrect, your mother sat in front of our apartment for HOURS and stalked us out waiting to see me go in and out and then only reason there was any conversation was when I went out and asked her what she was doing there. He said, this is none of your business and it's between your mom and me so you need to stay out of it and ask your mother not to tell you these things because it's not fair to anyone. SD20 responded, "she wasn't stalking you dad!" In a very firm, very angry tone and stomped off. WOW.

When he first told his kids I was moving in SD20 texted him "F*ck you" then she turned around a couple days later and asked SO if he wanted to go for a long ride and that it would be "good for him." He got it out of her that she was going to try to talk him out of being in a relationship with me and to come back home. So of course he was like...that's not going to happen and you need to move on. PERIOD.

So these are just a couple of the reasons I do not like SD's! They are manipulative and demanding and their mother unfortunately has brainwashed them and I'm afraid they are permanently damaged.

CandyLou's picture

omg iloveit that's just awful!!!! I feel so bad for what you go through with these kids who are supposed to be adults!!!! Honestly the best revenge is to be as happy with your BF as you possibly can and forget they even exist! (I know, easier said than done)....

iloveit's picture

I think you're right candy...good point, it IS the perfect revenge! They will get tired of trying to sabotage us at some point...I can't imagine it doesn't get tiresome trying to scheme and scam people and failing constantly. They'll get bored and move onto something else eventually.

StillSearching's picture

The BM sounds just like my ex husband. We have been divorced for 3 years and he is engaged to be married this May but every single holiday and on my birthdays he always text me and still does to this day. He was never religious when he and I were together but now he will send texts like "God bless you and your family, have a nice Easter." I'm like WTF??? But yeah I ignore every text he sends me but even after 3 years of ignoring those texts he still sends them to me. I think some people like to hold on to relationships or something. He even text me once to tell my mother he missed her. This was like a month ago!

iloveit's picture

Oh gees...my mother would send an FU text back I think hahahahaha! I think you're right though, there are some people who just either cannot or don't know how to let go. It's actually really sad if you think about it. That's why I don't think about it I would rather just consider them what they are...pathetic.

Shannon61's picture

This reminds me of an incident that took place a few years before me and DH got married. We'd spent the weekend together celebrating and were having lunch when he decided to check voicemails at home. His lunatic EX had left him a "happy birthday" message. I was livid and wanted to know . . why after being divorced for 15 years she was leaving him messages. I'm sure she did it to spite me. But to my knowledge, it hasn't happened since.

Poor thing . . She's been engaged 3 times since they've divorced and has yet to get married. Get a life. She's also a member of the pathetic club.

iloveit's picture

Shannon that club gets new members everyday! My SO's ex has been loyal to this club for almost 2 years...I know it's nothing compared to the BM in your situation but...it's still something. It's not an exclusive club but I do believe that they reinstate their membership every couple of months or at LEAST once a year! The first rule is that you must do something to prove how ridiculous and pathetic you are. BM's latest - forcing SD20 and SD23 to go to "family counseling" with her. SD's do not need this at this point, they accept the marriage is over but BM convinces herself that she is so miserable it must mean her kids are just as pathetic! Skids think she is an absolute lunatic.