It ain't no Brady Bunch.....is it?!!
I'm told once again. That's just the way she is..that's why she has no friends. Don't take it personally!
The 30 yr old called tonight "Is my Dad there?" No, he's not. He's at work. "OK I'll call him there." OK ""Bye" I never asked how she was, or how the new baby is. I'm so tired of trying. And of course she had nothing to say to me as usual.
So without anyone (me) trying anymore...
I don't want this to turn into open hostility. I'm told by everyone, father included, that she is soo much like her mother....(who is openly nasty, spiteful, manipulative, evil)
The daughter is civil, cordial, etc to me in her father's presence and her slights are obvious to me, but yet subtle enough that her father can't see it. (my girlfriends also recognize her actions as being cat-ty)
She also has the advantage of dangling grandchildren in his face. She knows she has him with the grandkids.
Although a little rough at first, my kids accept him 100% and love him. His youngest (20) has come around to a certain extend because she has gotten to know me over the last few years.
It's kind of ironic..because I see how my 13 yr old girl reacts to her father's girlfriend. What she thinks of her. How & why she forms the opinions of her she does.
The bottom line is it really has very little to do with her personally. She actaully seems to be a very nice person and is good to my kids. Any hostile feelings my daughter may have towards her comes more from the change in dynamics between father & daughter. (Maybe advice he's getting from her on how to parent?) Not that's she would give bad advice...but encourage him to deal with things maybe differently than he has before...thus upsetting the status quo.
I discuss Dad's GF with my children but in a positive way. If my daughter suspects that GF is behind something, I encourage her that it may not be all bad, to give it a shot, or that her intentions are good. Try to be more open.
I can only imagine how easy it would be for a bio-mom to fuel, twist, & amplify these feelings in thier children.
I don't stand a chance against that...
How do any of us? I guess he's right.. Just don't take it personally!!
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You're scaring me....
My 12 year old almost-step-daughter and I get along well enough most of the time but my 5yo almost-step-son(which I had abbreviated until I saw what it spelled, and I am resisting commenting on degree of accuracy.....) is openly hostile toward me- doesn't do anything I say, deliberately disobeys rules I have set down- and also just difficult in general. Please don't tell me it goes on into adulthood!!
He might be testing you..
My daughter was 8 when we moved in together 5 yrs ago..it was rough at first. She resented him and tested his boundries & patience at times. "You can't tell me what to do!" "Your not my Dad!" But it was made 100% clear..that although HE WAS NOT HER DAD..HE WAS the adult in charge when I was at work and what he says ..goes! There are rules in Our House and he and/or I will enforce them. Disrespect towards him was not tolerated. She didn't have to like him, I brought him into her life, she didn't have to agree with the rules but they were my rules as well. We worked through it after about 6 months...today my kids respect and love him. Might be a stage, or acting out, regardless..you must set and enforce the rules..both you and your mate..united..together!!!
Is it part of his being 5 years old?
Hi, 3to5:
I'm so happy that you and your SD-to-be get along well! I wonder, though, if the little boy is being an ornery five year-old and that's why he deliberately disobeys and is just plain difficult? What's he like with other people? Or have you noticed that he's only a snot with you? Oh, I hope not...