You are here

Getting ready to leave

stepmomap's picture

I feel like every time I bring up anything important like scheduling I am just put on the back burner. This last time we had SD I wasn't told but 2 days before picking her up that we were doing that a day early, then I was told the day that i thought she was going home that we were keeping her an extra day. I don't get a say in anything as far as anything, now I know I am the step parent but really, no communication? I told DH on monday night that i was having serious issues with SD as I posted earlier this week. Then on Wed night we got into a huge fight again over SD and him not telling me anything. If doesn't pertain to work, SD or ex wife it isn't worth talking about.
I finally got mad enough and left, I got about 2 blocks down the road and decided that if I was going to leave I was going to really leave so I drove home, packed and could not find my keys that I just had. We fought more yelling. I flat out said that it would be the SD fault that our marriage ends. True being the fact that SD and ex wife are all we ever fight about.
I finally got to tired from being mad and running up and down the stairs that I sat in th kitchen and yelled at him more. Telling him that on Monday when I expressed how I felt he bawled yet when I was packing he had no emotion. This is still bugging me to death.
SD knows that her hanging on DH buggs the crap outta me, DH knows that too. She is 3 and it is just weird how she hangs on him. It is more like they are lovers...DH doesn't really like it but deals with it.
I look at SD and she throws me attitude like you wouldn't believe. BD's and BS are not allowed to talk to me or DH like that but he just sits there like no big deal. She throws a fit because DH puts his arm around me and I am supposed to just get up and move cause she wants her daddy.
I told DH that I feel like a maid, sex slave, and babysitter to him and his daughter and he says well you are more then that...but can't get an explaination as to how he thinks that I am more then that.
I told him a few days ago that I am not happy and he doesn't respond or react or anything. The next day I get a text that says I love you. It is as if it went in one ear and out the other.
Am I kidding myself? I can't get him to talk about anything but things that make me mad, I can barely get him to look at me anymore.

lifeisshort's picture

I'm sorry, I don't know your situation but did you just say that your SD is three? And that you can't stand how a three year old "hangs" on her Dad?
If you meant 13, that's different. But lady, three year olds hang on EVERYONE. And it has NOTHING to do with sex. A three year old is still completely dependent on the adults in their lives and they need LOTS of attention. Get used to it.

Anon2009's picture

"Then on Wed night we got into a huge fight again over SD and him not telling me anything."

In all fairness to SD, she is 3. It is really DH's job to tell you about that stiff.

As far as the clinginess goes, I agree with lifeisshort in that every three year old does it. My nieces and nephews do/did it. My SDs did it. But as far as her giving you guys attitude, you need to talk to DH about this and get on the same page in terms of dealing with it. Say she acts out towards you. The person whom she acted out towards can put her in time-out, send her to her room, etc. You and DH need to sit her down and explain to her what the new rules and consequences will be, and who will be enforcing them.

stepmomap's picture

ok I can see your point on the hanging on part, I guess i don't see it since my 3 year BD doesn't do and my not 7bd didn't do it.

The attitude thing, I have talked to DH about it. I t goes great for a few days then it is back to normal. It is like he thinks it is cute or something. He just laughs it off. I don't allow my BD's to do it to him. So what makes the rules different for her? We have told her along with the other children, they have to treat us kindly and that being mean is not ok.

Anon2009's picture

Does she usually live with BM?

BM might be telling SD that her mistreating DH and yourself is ok, and saying false things about you. I suggest that you research Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), where one parent tries to (and sadly, often succeeds) alienate the children from their other, usually non-custodial parent. Usually, the non-custodial parent is a good person just trying to be there for their child(ren). BM may also be telling her it's ok to be mean to your children.

stepmomap's picture

I have thought of that many times. We have SD week on week off. BM trash talks me and DH often. We are right now in a huge custody battle for SD and we are often asked "why don't you want me" "Why did you leave my mother" Why did you have sex with Mommy" BM and her stepdad are great at tearing me down in e mails and to SD.

It is no secret to our children and hubby's family that there was an affair. Yes I am the other woman, the slut the what ever. Am I ashamed of the affair..yes do i regrete the relationship..HELL NO. Timing sucked. BM only knows what people have told her. Most of all which was speculation at the time. His family did not know anything until about a year ago. We came clean after we discovered that they have cut all ties with her.

I used the wrong word in OP. I said like lovers. that was the only way to explain it...best way to say it is she is possesive..to the point where I can't even sit within 3 feet of him.

NewBeginning's picture

How about a 19 year old pregnant woman calling my DH 'DADDY' and lying in his lap at a cookout in front of everyone? "I want my daddy" she said as she climbed in his lap...everyone around me looking shocked. I just sat there and didn't say a word..DH said nothing but looked pretty embarrassed. And he should have been...unreal. Sad Can we say grow the hell up?