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Our BM’s Personal Drama Saga

TheBonusMom's picture

Let me start out by saying: all of the stuff that’s happening to her is horrible and I hope things turn around soon. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand the woman – but I feel for her (to a certain extent). I’m happy SS13 is currently living with us so he’s more removed from the drama.

We found out this summer shortly after SS13 came to live with us full time that EEEK (BM) that she is ALSO expecting – about 2 weeks or so ahead of me we think and due mid to late February. She made it no secret that she was keeping her fingers crossed for a baby girl this time (she has SS13 and another boy age 8 ). SS13 has been wanting a sister so he upped his chances at least! She got her wish and is preggo with a girl which she made a HUGE deal over. We’re having another boy (thank goodness because I wouldn’t know how to deal with a girl haha). SS13 said he was bummed a little that WE weren’t the ones having a girl and said that his mom is going to completely stop caring about him and her other son now. We’re doing our best to reassure him that things will be fine and remind him about how things didn’t change as much as he feared when BS2 was born. He has grudgingly accepted this but still shows no interest in his new sister on the way – the reverse of that is that he’s THRILLED about our baby that’s on the way and talks about him all the time. Slightly worrying how detached he is but not much we can do for now.

In October, EEEK’s BF collapsed (heart attack) in their home and paramedics got his heart beating again after over 10 minutes. He spent the next MONTH in a medically induced coma because he continued to have seizures. Towards the end of November, the finally “woke him up” but it took the better part of a week for him to start reacting in any way and he hasn’t shown any progress since then. He’s eyes are open for a total of a few hours a day, he coughs and yawns but doesn’t have any response to verbal command or pain. We know that he had a tracheotomy at some point but don’t know if he’s breathing on his own now. We don’t know much more than that really because she sugar coats everything for SS13 and for the longest time she was saying he was just “a little sick” – we get most of our intel from her fb page.

Like I said – horrible to go through. Now for the part I do NOT agree with: she has completely turned her back on her kids. Not only is SS13 living with us, she has shipped her other son off to live back and forth between his BD and her mother. She’s missed several of her weekends with SS13 and when she DOES get him for the weekend, her mom is the one who picks him up, he stays there, and EEEK just drops by for an hour or two at some point. She told SS13 last month “I could never abandon BF like you’ve abandoned me.” Who says that to their child?!?! She’s also recently told him “You don’t need me – BF needs me. You’re fine. I need to be there for BF.” This entire time she has not worked and has literally rarely left the hospital. She told SS13 when he was visiting her (more like her mom) for Christmas that she’s on Family Leave so maybe there’s hope she’ll go back to work. But we’re positive she’s lost their apartment seeing as how SS13 hasn’t stepped foot in it since early November when he was forced to go over there and clean up after the 5 large dogs she’s let roam freely in the home without checking on them. She has since “rehomed” all the dogs which probably means she just left the front door open and took off all their collars. Her BF has also always been very anti-marriage (they’ve been together for 7 years off and on) and was NOT excited about the new addition but grudgingly accepted his fate. For Christmas, she posted a creepy picture of her holding his hand and she had shoved matching wedding bands on their fingers. She has ring raped this poor man and taken advantage of the fact that he is 100% incapable of telling her no – proof of her crazy.

Once again: SO GLAD SS13 IS LIVING WITH US AND SAFELY AWAY FROM HER EPIC MARTYR SPIRAL!!!

Comments

notsobad's picture

Get full custody of SS now.

Don’t worry about kicking her when she’s down, do what’s best for that boy.

TheBonusMom's picture

Waiting for her to give birth so CS can be adjusted for that and we won't have to worry about her taking us back to court anytime soon for modification. Plus we figure she'll have burned through her Tax Return by then (which is what she does every year - close to $9000 gone in about 2 weeks every time).

mommadukes2015's picture

Ywp, make custody permanent now. My BM and your BM sound very similar. Might as well get custody done while she's not going to put up a big fight. Svae yourselves a lot oif money and headache.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

YOUR BM IS SO SIMILAR TO OURS.

I mean there are a few different factors... But she picked her bf over the girls.... Ditched them, VERY RARELY sees them... Her bf is anti-marriage, she got preggo (to try and change his mind, SD9 was an anchor child too... And SD4 was a "s*** he found out I've been cheating and I don't want to lose my benefits" child...) and she wanted a boy, naturally she is preggo with one, and has totally thrown the girls to the curb. The girls are NOT EXCITED. In fact, I've been told they don't want another sibling and that BM only cares about the "baby in her tummy." It's tragic! Ours doesn't have the medical issues... She's just dealing drugs and both bf and her are druggies... Plus living with three other males and tried to make the girls share a twin bed in the same room as her and bf...

As stated above. MAKE CUSTODY PERMENANT NOW. We're working on that too. Exact words from the lawyer: "Now is the time to act if you really want these girls safe, this is going to be the best time to get them away from her crazy, because you don't know what the future holds and she may manage to put on a face for a few months long enough for the judge to rule in her favor if you wait."