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This weekend....

tankh21's picture

Skid were still sick Friday night. I told DH that visitation is voluntary and he could've let those kids stay home with BM since she was so concerned about her previous snowflakes and not got the rest of us sick. He just looked at me with this blank stare so I just walked off. On saturday I went to see my family this weekend and left DH at home with the skids. I was nice and quiet. Then I get home and OSS used one of my good knives to open a can. We have 2 can openers. He is 13 years old and doesn't know how to open a can with a can opener. I told DH that he should teach his kids things like this since BM does not obviously I mean I shouldn't be surprised since she coddles them and does everything for them. I told DH that he should show him or next time he should ask. He seriously could've hurt himself. Then YSS asks DH if he can call BM. Apparently he was asking because he thinks that he can't call her without asking permission now since we don't want him showing her the inside of our house on video conference. I guess he misunderstood what DH told him so DH explained to him again that he can call and text his mom on his phone anytime he wants he just can't video conference with her inside our house. If he wants to video conference then he will need to go outside to do so.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Did the kid google 'how to open a can with a knife'? I just did and sure enough here is some guy 'teaching' how to. Biggrin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY40LoD2ifU

Two can openers in the home and THIS is what the kid tries? *shaking my head*

Did the kid survive himself? I bet Dad had his usual kid excuse ready to hand you afterwards.

ESMOD's picture

What was he trying to open? Most soup/pasta cans I see now have the peel back lids now.

I think your husband needs to do a better job of monitoring his kids. I'm guessing this is one reason why his EX questions his capabilities.. he isn't very attentive.

tankh21's picture

Shouldn't BM be teaching him as well. I think that it is a reflection on BOTH parents you cannot just blame my DH for this. We shouldn't have to lock everything up because this kid doesn't know how to do something. Why are you always thinking that my DH is the ONLY absent parent? BM would question what DH does regardless if my DH was the best dad in the world. That is just what does because she is a b****!!!!

ESMOD's picture

It sounds like your BM as you say "coddles" her kids. Maybe she should be teaching them, but apparently, they don't have to open cans in her house because SHE does it for them.

Since your DH and you KNOW she does this and know that these kids are behind, why aren't you trying to help them come up to speed instead of always saying.

"but BOTH parents should be doing this".. yeah.. but BM isn't here on this site complaining about the fallout and the fact that BM seems to think your DH is incompetent.

Should these kids have better life skills? yes.
Should BM be helping them learn as well as your DH. Of course
But, should your DH be paying more attention to his kids so they don't slit their wrist open on a can/knife project YESSSSS! The fact that he doesn't is why your BM is questioning his parenting all the time.
Instead what we see is your DH doesn't care to watch or teach his kid these things.. so you get ruined knives.... and quite possibly ER visits in the future.

Just because BM isn't doing all SHE can do... doesn't make it OK for your DH to not watch his kids and to not teach them life skills.

Your DH isn't the only absent parent?....but in a way.. I think he is. In BM's house, mom is opening the can and heating up soup for her sick kids.

Don't get me wrong. I think since you came on the scene that the kids are probably getting more discipline than they used to with dad. But, your DH is doing them no favors by not trying to work with them on these things. BM isn't doing great by coddling either.

tankh21's picture

You are quick to think that BM is the way she is because she is worried about her precious little snowflakes well that is not the case she is high conflict and says and does what she does because she is a self-righteous vindictive person. Yes, my DH could get a better handle on his own kids and do better as a parent but all of the drama is because BM just feels like it and you cannot convince me otherwise. You have all of these theories and scenarios when I post my blogs on here that it could be something else other than what I say it is well about 98% of the time it's not. I come on here to vent because I can't vent anywhere else with people who understand so cut me some slack.

ESMOD's picture

Ok. I will give you the short hand version.

Your husband needs to supervise his kids.

tankh21's picture

Then BM should be doing the same I guess. Considering she leaves them home alone for 8 hours a day. DH never leaves them home alone. The kid went into the pantry and got a can of beans. I saw the can in the trash can. He knows that if he doesn't know how to do something or needs something to ask an adult.

ESMOD's picture

Honey.... your DH and you can't control what happens at her house. Of course she should be doing better with the kids so they aren't so "feral".

All your DH can do is watch them and teach them when they are at HIS house.

The kid using a knife to open the beans is 100% your husband's fault for not watching him. Sorry... but that is on his time.

Perhaps you should have the same house rules that we did. If you want to eat something ask an adult.

For a variety of reasons this is a good idea including the knife scenario.. mess possibility and also the fact that the kids don't fill up on junk instead of eating the balanced meals their father and you prepare.

bananaseedo's picture

I'd actually be impressed they could open it with a knife...that's a lot harder to do then with a can opener ha!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Impressed while awkwardly laughing and pulling out the can opener and another can of something to teach them. LOL

ESMOD's picture

You know.. kids can sometimes see things like this on TV. Maybe the kid was watching some survival type show and they showed how it could work?

Shoot, I remember being really young and watching Mr. Rogers make peanut butter by smashing peanuts and butter in a plastic bag. I thought that "hey.. a blender would be better" and got it out and put a stick of butter and all my dad's dry roasted peanuts in it and pressed play... with no lid. It went EVERYWHERE.

Kids without supervision can try things they see on TV. Sometimes they may even try other stuff with bad consequences.