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BM mother attacked me on social media...

Shake.it.off.'s picture

My DH has not seen or heard from his bio son in almost a year (age 14). It has been a long tough road as bm and her mom have done everything to try to make my spouses life difficult since the child was born. Lies, control, spite, revenge, and they have succeeded unfortunately.

I posted on here awhile ago the situation as my DH was never involved with BM in a relationship when she became pregnant.They knew eachother from highschool and had mutual friends. Only she returned 2 years later with a son and with high expectations, demands, control, fear tactics " if we are not going to have a relationship you won't be seeing your son" type of attitude. Once she learned he had no intentions of being with her, but wanted to help raise the child she became very difficult. If he was dating or seeing another women BM became jealous, controlling of the situation and would take the son and leave town ( twice) and the second time she left for four years. DH and I got together 5 years ago. I didn't get the pleasure to meet BM, or bio son and my DH hadn't had contact in almost 8 years by this time. I also try not to be bias of the situation as I love my DH, and think he is a wonderful father and person but I know he has made mistakes and he should of never been with a women like that. The Only contact I seen was an email from BM asking for my DH to sign his rights over for her new fiance to adopt the Bio son and become dad. BM insisted this to be done and stated my DH wouldn't even have to pay child support anymore. MY DH refused and decided to wait it out until his son was old enough and came looking for him.

Two years ago, (summer 2015) BM found DH through Face Book, and asked if DH wanted to meet his son who is was 12 at the time. BM and her husband recently seperated and she told my DH her son needed a father in his life. My DH was over thrilled and went and met up with them the next day. We thought this would be a start of something great, and that the past would be the past, BM would be alot more mature now as she was young when she had her son and its been 12 years.. and shes 30 years old. This sadly was not the case. The first thing BM did was tell my DH she did not want me ( or my kids) in her sons life. IF my DH was to have a relationship with his son, it was just him. My DH told her that would not happen, that we were in a serious relationship, and my kids were involved and that his son would be apart of the family. We have endured 2 years of...hell. BM and her mother put in the sons head that I was somehow an enemy.. my kids were taking his father away from him and that his father did not love him. We have proof of text messages of her herassing my DH for money, belittling him of being a father. My DH would pick up or drop his child off (every second weekend) and everytime he was belittled, talked at about something he didn't do, he would be called a "loser" a "dead beat" a " lousy father" on several occasions.
Some little examples : BM would accuse my DH of spending money on my kids hot lunch and not his own son hot lunch (which she is very sadly mistaken) BM wouldn't let the son come on a family camping trip (for 4 days) because MY kids and nephews were coming.. (they were all under the age of 10). On top of that my nephews were not allowed at our house if her son was there because Bio son needed time spent alone with his dad not have other kids around. Also my nephews were no biologically my nephews as I was a foster parent to them prior and I stayed in contact with them when they became adopted. therefore BM was made aware of this, didn't like it and stated she did not want her son around " foster kids" and was very rude about it. BM would leave rude messages on voice mail. BM mom would called our house number and leave messages because they were upset with MY DH and instead of talking to him like a person, they just belittle him everytime they got the chance. If my DH attended my sons baseball game.. Bm and her mom would get mad at him constantly. BM became irritated when my DH would not attend a school camping trip with bio son, as it was 5 days long and my DH couldnt take the time off of work. BM brought it upon herself to contact my DH employer and yell at my DH supervisor, and his boss in regards to not letting him have time off to attend the camping trip. My DH was humiliated as it was not even his employers fault. My DH just couldn't financially afford a week off of work at the time. DH filed a herassment complaint to the police and a police officer explained to us that this was herassment, and a file would be open if further things happen. BM was no longer allowed to contact my DH. DH had to go directly through his son now. DH called his sons phone. NOW there is no response. On top of that, the BM Mother has publicly insulted me, my family and my DH. The BM MOTHER contacted MY EX ( MY children's father) telling him my DH thinks he is a lousy father. she wanted to get my DH and ex spouse in conflict with eachother. Not only did that not work or succeed for her, but then she publicly announced things on her face book wall, stating I am a "tramp" I have three children out of wed lock (her exact words) in regards to my Christian faith and stated" I wonder what kind of church she attends that allows this LOL ". She was requesting if anyone would "beat up" my DH and gave my DH full name as she stated he is a "dead beat" who is "raising other womens children and not his own" and she proceeded to insult me two more times (publicly) regarding personal things that are not her business which she was either mis informed or is telling a lie. DH and I have had absolutely no contact with BM her mother or their family members in over a year, and recently all this was plastered on social media. Is this a type of bullying mechanism? I have never even MET the women, or BM before and apparently they know more about my life than I thought. I am humiliated. I have never dealt with such a thing before and am absolutely blown away.

Shake.it.off.'s picture

I forgot to mention... my DH and I just had a baby. BM and her family knew nothing about this. We knew it would cause a lot of conflict and we already had to much conflict. As it was BM mother found out we had a baby, and during this attack on me on social media, she also brought up that I was pregnant with my third child with my DH (who is a lousy father) and she hopes my DH is not a good father to our child and that our child grows up with issues.. the sister also commented stating she hopes we have a daughter, and she grows up being hurt by men.

Shake.it.off.'s picture

When I found out my ex was involved by her, and that she had publically made statements about us on her facebook page I went on her facebook page to see if I could see anything, which I found she had written in her facebook status many things. I printed it off. I didn't have proof before and I was looking for some sort of proof just in case I decided to take it to police.

WalkOnBy's picture

while you don't have grounds for a harassment suit (it takes waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than this), you should feel free to stop communicating with these idiots, and the same goes for your husband. Deal with things that are related to the child, but don't respond to anything that is not.

It's really simple to cut ASSholes out of your life Smile

Shake.it.off.'s picture

My DH and I have not had ANY contact with anyone from the childs family in over 1 year. The problem is when they see us ( out in the community) they are confronting my DH ( in public) and making scenes such as talking very rudely, demanding to know why he has not talked to his son ( which he has tried calling them and they refuse to answer) and my DH explains this but all they are looking for is a reaction. They obviously know he has tried to call, because there refusing to pick up or return the call back. It appears they are confronting him purposely, as if it to herass.. but again we had no proof. This happens everytime we "run " into them at a grocery store, or any place in the community. SO far, I have seen them 3 times at the local grocery store in 2 months. Not to mention they are trying to bring other people into it, such as my childrens father. They tried to entice a fight between my DH and my ex by "stirring" the pot and said things to my childrens father, that were not true. Fortunately for myself my childrens father is a reasonable man, we have a respectful relationship of each other and my DH and ex get along well ( we invite my ex and his gf for Christmas dinner even) but BM and her mom had no idea about any of this and assumed otherwise. It did not work in her favor.

Thumper's picture

That's awful.

She doesn't sound very nice.

No advise except notify the police that SHE is asking for anyone willing to beat your dh up. THAT is something the police will want to be aware of. FILE a report with them. Bring a screen shoot of what she wrote too.

Shake.it.off.'s picture

I have done this today. Smile I agree and am aware of the parental alienation. My DH has no intention of going to court at this moment. He wants nothing to do with the family, and at this point unfortunately his son. As his son is apart of lying to them which has caused some of this ridiculous issue. My DH says he will wait until he either see's his son on his own and talk to him, or he will ask to talk to him alone and see what is up. OR wait until son reaches out to him which may be when he is an adult. DH has dealt with this clan for several years resulting in his previous relationship before me( 7 years with his ex girlfriend) to leave because of the herassment. He never filed any complaint as he never had actual proof. He said/ she said kind of stuff. FINALLY, in 2016 he had proof and took it to the police, and they agreed it was pure herassment. SINCE then June 2016 lehally there was not allowed any contact with BM and DH. DH had to directly contact son, or son directly call him. WELL, SON contacted him once which was CRHISTMAS 2016, and my DH gave him a present. WELL....BM grandma went on a rant how my DH bought his son a "pathetic plastic airplane thing". This was her exact words. The pathetic plastic airplane thing was a DRONE. A drone! That was just the tip of the ice burg . Son was disappointing in his gift.. and stopped calling his dad. LITTERALLY.

ESMOD's picture

Your DH should have an official CO that gives him access to his child... and not that he just "has to contact the boy directly". And.. BM et al need to be put on notice that further harassment will result in consequences. In fact, If I were your DH I would go for full custody with her documented behavior a good reason why she shouldn't have custody.

and.. lock down your social media. block BM and her clan.

Shake.it.off.'s picture

The son won't live with us. He loves his mom and grandma to much to go against them. Instead he just uses DH and BM in certain ways to get what he wants. If DH doesn't do something he wants, he asks BM and complains" dad won't do it" and BM eats it up like candy, and then goes on a rant to my DH" you won't get your son a new x box your a f-in loser of a dad that you can't buy your kid sh!t and all you do is buy those other little kids." ( this is just ONE example out of many) My DH didn't buy an X BOX ( not because of the price) but because he told his son he doesn't need another x box he plays to much video games and needs to be active. MY DH doesn't believe buying things for kids just because they want it. They either work for it, or wait till their birthday and even then.. my DH just doesn't support video games. BM and her mom have yelled and belittled him several times about this.

thinkthrice's picture

BLOCK!! I have the Girhippo and her mother, Battleaxe Gallactica blocked (as well as the entire Girhippo clan) blocked from my social media!

mommadukes2015's picture

OH HONEY.

Sometimes you just gotta let people do the lame shit that they do.

All. By. Themselves.

Enjoy your life, enjoy your kids and your husband. Don't let this ho take up anymore space in your head. If SS wants something to do with DH he will have, when the timing is right for him. I can almost guarantee this will backfire on BM later in life. If not, well it's unfortunately SS's loss-and he has his mom to thank for that.

Shake.it.off.'s picture

Thats the problem it keeps back firing and it's making her even more mad. Where silly stuff like this is happening and where she is actually meeting people that "know me" ( WORK ) and tells them horrible un true things about me. Its effecting my life in negative ways. I am worried.

mommadukes2015's picture

People are really good at passing judgement. What they think of you is none of yyour business. If they have pleasent professional interactions with you and BM is always over the top, negativity, where do you think the gavel is going to fall?

Harry's picture

She is sick, and needs help, nothing you can do with sick people!!!!
Just try to dea with bio son and have no contact with Ex something