If it is polite conversation at the drop off... Like, "Do you guys have any fun plans this weekend?" it would be one thing to say yes- we are going to see Star Wars... or not really, it is cold and we are going to just stay home and do some baking. I don't see anything wrong with it. I usually have this chat back and forth with my ex and his wife.

However, if it is a demand to know where you guys are all weekend, that is another thing all together. BM actually uses the find my friend / find my phone app on SS multiple times daily when with us because we don't fall into those demands. So, I think it is all about what the situation is. I do think that you should tell the other parent if you are going out of state, but exact details and addresses, etc are not necessary- for example, my ex goes up to NY state to visit his relatives a couple of times a year. He takes our kids when he goes... I know the city they live in, can't remember the address but I know the dates he travels with them up there. That is about it... That is all I need to know.

No you nor Dad are not obligated to spell out the entire itinerary of the visits every last second.

What's next? Will BM demand you feed her little darling at 7am, 12pm, and 5:30pm and send you a menu to prepare? Maybe, call and ask permission to drive the children to the grocery store that is three blocks from your?

If this is new for the nutty BM it might have something to do with the one child being suspended from school and any consequences she has been handing out at home (yeah, as if BM would actually discipline the boys, lol). But even so, in the chance it might be, you nor Dad are under no obligation to follow along with her agenda on Dad's time.

Enjoy your holiday break with the boys. Go and do whatever you and Dad pleases. Follow the CO, if you have to notify if you leave the area, do so, nothing more.

And as a personal note to you, may you survive and have your sanity intact after the extended visitation. I'm sure the boys will be their usual selves and BM will drive you crazy with texts ect to the kids. Psst, don't forget to take the phones and no phone calls and/or texts before 8am (or whatever works for DH and you). None of that 6am crap.

No, not unless it involves taking them out of state, I believe.

He should just answer “The plan is to spend quality time with my children.”

If its a normal situation then heck no. It ruffles my feathers like none other when BM will message DH "What are your plans for the entire weekend" and then proceed to bother him until he just ignores her and she finally realizes he's not responding, or he gives her the shortened and condensed run down... Personally I don't think she has any right to know what we're up to whenever she wants. Same reason I blocked her on Facebook and considered unfriending my in-laws who for some psychotic reason are still friends with her, she was using it to creep, liked literally ANYTHING my in-laws tagged me in, and even sent her friend to my work (at a private office building) to spy...

On the flip though, this is probably going to sound hypocritical... She ditched the skids like 6 or so months ago, so on the VERY rare occasion that she wants to see them, we do actually ask for a schedule and specific times for drop off and pick up (we meet at a neutral location, she started yelling at my dogs, who literally were just sitting there and watching, and invading, I drew a line.) We do ask what she's doing with them, mostly because she's living in a house that isn't safe for adults, let alone kids, her bf is a druggie, and so is she, plus we found out a week or so ago she's also dealing. So without a plan we don't feel comfortable letting them go... That one is a safety issue though...

As long as there isn't a safety issue (which I'm sure in your case there isn't) and as long as you aren't breaching the CO, then no, I don't think she has the right to know your every move on their dad's time.

Nope.

No. He the skids' parent, not the nanny who is required to report to BM.

He isn't obligated to do so, but it would be nice if he did. And hopefully, she would show him the same courtesy and respect if she took the kids out of town

If he is not taking the kids out of town, his plans with his own children, on his time, is none of her business.

Unless he is COed to tell her, no. He is an equal parent and can make decisions for his children without BM's permission or knowledge.

OP, please review the current court order.

Is the court silent on obligation of either parent to disclose the daily goings on's during their visitation time. OR does the court require both parties to keep a log of what the child does during the care and custody of THAT parent.

IT WILL BE VERY clear

There may be a line or two that states BOTH parties must notify the other when traveling out of state. Could fall within vacation discussion.

Gosh either bm is telling dh he must tell her the child's every waking movement OR something triggered you to be very worried about this.

UNLESS it is in the court order dh is free to be normal. Now I would not suggest go get the child a tattoo 'since it is not in the order'. Bm might be pretty mad at that one.

There is no legal requirement. From there it depends on your relationship.

BM became a problem because of knowing in advance so we stopped. If she doesn't need to know then the kids can tell her on their own.

She doesn't tell us all her plans either, why is it any different.

Soooo...update us about the pick up. Did it happen?