Negativity and new year
Noticed that many seem miserable with the way their lives are. Seems part for the course on a site such as this, I suppose. Still, there are happy endings here and there for some.
I know it's not as easy as to snap your fingers to see changes take place... but it gives me heartache to see some posters post the same issues over and over, having seemingly given up and seeming "content" just b!tching about bm and the skids and how awful they are...without actually making any progress...(through no fault of their own...)
I'd love to see more positive updates from those posters.
I'd love to see posts that aren't all about how their lives are nothing but misery.
I wish a better coming year to those posters stuck in a stagnant life of hate and misery... may the skids learn to be nice and may the biowhores back off.
May the new year be better for you.
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Comments
That’s just how it is. Some
That’s just how it is.
Some women don’t believe there are good men out there yet they are afraid to be alone and their only option is to put up with whoever comes along. And some are just too dependent on men to ever be able to leave. Some think low of themselves and find peace in worshipping a man no matter how abusive he is. Some people just need to vent and maybe their issues aren’t as bad as they portray it.
Some issues aren’t exactly the kind that need or could be fixed. some people are posting about sad situations not because they are unhappy but because some sad circumstances took place. My mother is very sick. We are all very worried. If I posted about her illness it would not mean I am unhappy in my life, it just means my mom is sick and we are worried
Overall people don’t come to online forums to simply inform the world that they are happy. People usually come for some type of support or maybe companionship of like minded people. I am very happily married but I don’t see any need to go to anonymous forums announcing it. Who cares? I have real life family and friends for that. People usually go to online forums for some type of support (crazy BM or something about SD or issues at work etc).
Overall as long as people aren’t being abusive or offensive they should be able to post whatever the heck they want.
I'm not saying they
I'm not saying they shouldn't. .. I'm saying my heart hurts for them and I hope the new year is better.
It’s all very relative
It’s all very relative though. You might read about some families and consider their lives horrid and yours wonderful but there might be people who would find your (hypothetically yours) home life totally terrible and theirs wonderful. It’s all subjective. Sure some situations are totally abusive but many aren’t that cut and dry. People have different standards.
I can see what you mean,
I can see what you mean, there is a lot of “doom and gloom” and rarely any positive updates or positive stories. A mix of both would be reassuring. As a new person to this website, many of the posts had me thinking, “well shit-things are good with my stepkids now, but when they’re teens, I’m in for it!” Perhaps that’s not true for every persons situation, but there tends to be mainly one side of the coin here. While people should feel free to post whatever is on their heart, and should definitely do so-it would be nice to hear follow up or see some positives. As you said. Hopefully their new year is better.
Perhaps you can start a new
Perhaps you can start a new site strictly for the positive side of stepfamilies. This is where we come to vent our frustrations. I don’t really feel I need to use this site to talk about all the amazing, positive things going on in my life. And there are many. Because that’s not what the site is for. It’s for the specific help with stepfamilies that haven’t bonded in a healthy manner due to many variables.
Exactly. Even in the most
Exactly. Even in the most successful stepfamilies there might be issues that just cannot be fixed (disabled skids or skids who have problem with the law or annoyance of having to pay alimony to lazy BM etc)!. Yet people might want help how to cope or just simply want to vent.
A “positive only” step parent
A “positive only” step parent website is just unrealistic. Plus, venting is necessary-most people (maybe all) found this site out of a need to vent frustration.
LMAO mostly cause being a
LMAO mostly cause being a step is utterly craptastic.
Yup....that’s why there re
Yup....that’s why there re mostly venting stories on here...this is the place to do it with others who understand.
I do think that venting
I do think that venting really helps people. It is healthy and on this site we get some good feed back from others that have been thru it all. Sure you get a few posters who are mean but who cares. I enjoy reading the positive post people write to help the bloggers problems. I like Secret hope things will get better in the new year for all of us living in step world.
It’s a blessing for sure to
It’s a blessing for sure to vent. And to share the harder side of step life with otherswho get it and have great advice.
I have one friend who is a step mom....that’s it. So the majority of my friends and family just don’t understand this complex family dynamic.
I actually wish I had found this site eight years ago....would of saved me a lot of mistakes. I tried so hard to have a healthy, blended family.....but when you have a BM in your life that dose not want to raise her kid at all.....and wants that kid to hate you and her dad....well.....there can be no healthy relationship.
And it’s a dynamic that won’t change even as much as I wish it would.
But life with my two kids and son in law is spectacular! And my marriage is deeply loving. And I live in one of the most stunning paces on earth. But I would feel funny talking about this on a regular basis here. Not the platform.
I am all for the new year
I am all for the new year being a good one for us step moms. We do put up with a lot and don't get a whole lot of credit for the extra mile we go. We live we learn. I think to know where we stand with our steps is what is going to make the new year a good one. Sometimes if we give what we get it will somehow keep things on a level we can handle. After all there are so many wonderful things in life that don't include the steps. So here is to a happy and healthy step life this new year.
So sweet, Secret. Not all of
So sweet, Secret. Not all of us are miserable. Some of us reclaimed our rightful place as Queen of our Homes.
I thought the post title was
I thought the post title was Nativity New Year.
Oh I am sorry you are depressed by reading some of what these people write.
Yes ,it is sad. Count your blessings if you are happy in your life .
Go With God.
Lol....like the user name.
Lol....like the user name. Clever.
I wish the same as well.
I wish the same as well. Merry Christmas, secret
Great post and I understand
Great post and I understand what you mean....you are not looking for more "happy" posts...you see the sadness in some of these posts, though, and you want the best for these posters and hope that they have something good happen in their lives, just a reason in their lives to be able to give a happy post....you are wishing all who are troubled get some relief and good thoughts for all. Very kind of you and I wish the same
I’m hoping to be able to give
I’m hoping to be able to give some positive posts this next year secret! Just gotta get through this chaos first!!!