And it begins...
The holiday madness.
For Thanksgiving, BM was ever so kind and said that DH could have the children this year. BUT...less than a week before the holiday she changed her mind. You know, after I already purchased a large ass turkey.
For Christmas, the kids wake up at BM's house. We decided to have our Christmas on Christmas Eve and DH invited his parents (who have never come to our house for Christmas and only once for Thanksgiving)
Whatever fine, I told Inlaws and DH that dinner will be at 2pm. I wanted to time to eat and enjoy the company before DH had to take skids to BM and then I wanted to have a little one-on-one time with DH because we both go back to work on Tuesday.
HA HA HA
Well, his parents decide that they can't come until 4. I have no idea why. Their daughter lives in another state and their other son will be at our house. None of their parents are around anymore and they just had a holiday dinner this past weekend with the other relatives that live close.
So, once again, I have to change my holiday plans for someone else's benefit. Two hours. TWO HOURS. DH wont' get those kids home til late now. There goes any alone time unless I ride with him to BM's house and we spend some time alone in the car on the way back. Just what I always pictured my holidays as when I got married. No time with my spouse and always being at the mercy of his exwife, skids or pretty much anyone else.
I hate that I can NEVER enjoy what is supposed to be happy days.
At least this kid is happy. https://i.imgur.com/DCsqwrA.gifv
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"I'm sorry, dinner is at 2
"I'm sorry, dinner is at 2 because we have to have the kids back by 6. If that doesn't work for you, we can schedule another time after the holiday."
This, of course, is my response if the in-laws are just horrible people who purposefully change plans because they want to. If they genuinely can't make it and are apologetic, that's different. However, I am under the impression that you're dealing with the former instead of the latter.
If I'm hosting, I make the rules. If people don't like it, they are more than willing to host.
They are not horrible people
They are not horrible people but they do think plans need to revolve around them. I even told them when we invited them that we had to eat early to get skids to BM's house.
So stick with 2. They either
So stick with 2. They either inform you of the other plan so you can decide if you want to accommodate, or they give you another date.
If they show up at 4, food will be put away and you'll be chilling with the kids already with gifts open, etc. I don't like when other people try to hijack my holiday when I host. Don't let people do it to you.
"Oh, such a shame you'll be
"Oh, such a shame you'll be here so late, the rest of us will already be finished.. Would you like me to make you two a plate, so you can eat when you get here? "
Working around the ex and the
Working around the ex and the skids and even just in general s*** from the prior marriage REALLY sucks some days... I understand (I'm sure most of us do).
Some days its beyond frustrating... And you feel like you're expected to sacrifice SO FREAKING MUCH. Some days you just want the responsibility and drama to go away and to just be able to enjoy some completely just you and DH time, and most days the reality is that's impossible...
Keep your plans as they were.
Keep your plans as they were. Make the in laws a plate. Sounds like they already have a lunch date or something and you should not change your plans. If they get to see the kids for two hours before they go home at 6 pm then great. The meal and other presents will be out of the way already. You are the host. You pick the time for the meal.
Have it at two and set out a cold buffet later so the I laws and skids can eat again if they want.
Enjoy your evening with DH as planned. While he is returning skids...have a nice soak in tub with wine to decompress. If I laws are staying at your house they are welcome to entertain themselves.
It is almost over...
It’s bad enough working
It’s bad enough working around BMs, don’t add in working around in-laws. Dinner is at 2:00. If that doesn’t fit their schedule, sorry. You can heat up some leftovers or serve dessert at 4:00. If neither suits them, maybe next year.