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Holiday Plans

Java_Junkie's picture

It's the most wonderful time
Of the yeeeeeeeearrrrr....

Smile

DW's ex was poised to take SKids to Colorado for vacation. He has long promised to take them somewhere for vacation, but always backed out or something... This year, was to be skiing. Woohooooo!

La Nina had other plans. Sad Drought, warm temps, no skiing. Looks like the vacay is off.

DW says, "That's ok! If he doesn't have anything for you, we can all go visit family three states away!" Looks like DW and I might be bringing the SKids along on another road trip that was going to be her and me. She didn't mention it to me to gauge my feelings about it.

I'm really let down about how, AGAIN, she just blurts it out there and includes/invites other people without any discussion. It's also as if, were I to bring up her excluding me from the decisions, she'll get defensive and say stuff like, "These are GREAT kids. I just don't want them to have to sit around, bored out of their minds on their electronics at their dad's place for two weeks." I'm thinking that's all they do with us, anyway, except when it's time to eat and they whine about what is on the menu - or they only halfway listen to conversations and intentionally interrupt just to get some attention - or they bicker - and basically act like early teens. I need a vacation, too... and putting up with constant interruptions during movie night, having to listen to constant annoying UNNECESSARY noises while trying to relax, and all that... No, I need a vacation. I've earned it. Even if I just lay around the house and count the bumps on the ceiling in peace, I deserve that.

How 'bout y'all?

secret's picture

LOL

Plans are a bit up in the air... we have two dinners set in stone, one on the 23rd, one on the 25th.

I'm off from work from December 21st after work to January 8th morning... and I've already told him there is NO WAY I'm spending the ENTIRE time having to take care of kids, be it his or mine.

I'll be d@mned if I'm going to have 17 consecutive days off and every single one of them taken over by kids.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Why does lack of snow mean you get the kids? DW unilaterally decides her ex isn't getting the skids? Skiiing may not happen but that doesn't mean no trip??

I would NOT agree to having the skids. I also hate when people invite MORE people who werent originally invited because "hey, my kids must be able to come." Who says family three states over want to see these kids? Even if they are *cough* wonderful kids??

This sounds inconsiderate all round: your DW and her ex!

I am looking forward to Christmas without my husband!
Christmas with my family in the West Country - my brother spent two years with his wife restoring a 14 bedroom farm house. It is gorgeous! Sucked up just about all of their savings!! So my entire family (with no skids of mine!!) are spending Christmas there.
Two days later, my son and I hop on the train and head for Zurich - via Paris. My Son does new year with his uncle - he has two cousins around the same age and it is great for the kids to get together. I get to spend time with my first MIL. Coffee, chocolate, cuckoo clocks, and one magical trip to the philharmonic orchestra: old fashioned ball gown dress up! Smile Christmas present to myself is an early celebration of a pending divorce!

Valkyrie's picture

This happens to me as well Java_Junkie. It's just common courtesy to run changes past you regardless of who is invited (skids, friends, family etc). Couples need time alone and there is nothing wrong with that.

A few months ago, SO said that he had a surprise for me and that we were going away for the weekend to the place we first met. Awesome! When we were due to leave home, SO goes out to pick up a vehicle and returns... with his kids (12 and 13). Apparently he had called to let them know we'd be away that weekend and they had asked to come. SO said 'what do you expect me to do - say no?' Yes that's exactly what I expect on a romantic surprise weekend away considering that we never spend a weekend alone, you complete tool.

After realizing that we only had the one room/ bed that would be shared with his kids, I stayed home alone and drank wine so it was a win for me }:)

Java_Junkie's picture

"SO said 'what do you expect me to do - say no?' Yes that's exactly what I expect on a romantic surprise weekend away considering that we never spend a weekend alone, you complete tool.
After realizing that we only had the one room/ bed that would be shared with his kids, I stayed home alone and drank wine so it was a win for me"

Yeah... That'd be a problem. Well, except for the wine part. Biggrin

Java_Junkie's picture

Whew... CO got a little snow, so DW's X confirmed they're a GO for the shushing down the slopes holiday, and we're getting a holiday without kids. Unless the snow melts, I suppose, LOL...

I just wish someone would consider my thoughts/feelings about this stuff before just *making the plans.* Even some of the smaller things grind me down just by the sheer number of the issues...

Java_Junkie's picture

Christmas break, SKids are w us a couple more days... then off to her Ex's for the Great Family Vacation. Yayyyyy!

I believe they're supposed to be w their dad through NYE, then back to us on NYD... but these kids keep angling and whining about how they'd rather be w their mom for NYE, and she keeps saying she'd be HAPPY to have them (which makes me get nervous bc they're SSSSSO ANNOYING after a while).

It's gotten to where I'm so worn down by these SKids that when they leave, it takes me a few days to really unwind and feel normal. REALLY, they GRIND. ME. DOWN. Mentally, emotionally, physically, financially.

Rags's picture

Inform your DW that your plans and the preparations did not include the Skids and Daddy needs to step up. However... and unfortunately the one strong advantage that an NCP has is the ability to decline visitation at will. So, I suggest that DW informs Daddy that the kids will not be able to be with her because the two of you have a prior commitment.

If you leave without the Skids then Daddy has to step up.

Good luck.