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fairyo's picture
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I'm feeling really fed up. I have my sister staying for a month- I love her dearly but she is a very difficult person to have around. She is ultra-critical, constantly talks about her own family and her past experiences and constantly goes on about how things are so much better in the country she lives in. She is also a little unwell- and has put herself on a faddy diet and hardly eats and has lost a lot of weight. When she came to stay last year I had not disengaged from the skids, but things have changed a lot since then and I am really feeling the strain.
When we went away a few days ago DH refused to take us to the railway station as he said he was unable to leave work (something that has never happened before) and when I rang him when we were away we finished up having an argument over the phone (something we have avoided for some time!) but I had to let him know how angry I felt. He accused me of always wanting my own way and only cared about doing my own thing- he then refused to collect us from the train station on our return and I put the phone down on him.
Since arriving home I just feel so fed up- due to my sister's constant presence and inappropriate comments and now DH's silent sulky treatment of me.
I just need to vent- I'm getting very bad tempered and a bit depressed, feeling I can't wait for my sister to leave and hating myself for it- but knowing the real cause is how DH does not see things from my perspective and never will...

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Your DH sounds like he's got a bad case of sour grapes. Doing for each other as husband and wife is different from you doing for kids who are disrespectful. Do you still help out with his family, doing favors and such?

fairyo's picture

No- I disengaged from his kids 8 months ago but I am supposed to be going to a concert with them and DH next week- I still have mixed feelings about this.

SugarSpice's picture

compromise is key in a marriage. having a dh and sister who are less than agreeable is reason enough for any one to vent.

notasm3's picture

I hope he is not being mean to your sister because you have disengaged from his brats.

I have totally written off SS32 and his GF - they just do not exist to me (for very good reasons). But my DH has been wonderful to my sister. She had surgery and had to stay with us for a few weeks - he couldn't have been more wonderful with helping her out. But she went out of her way not to ask for extra special treatment.

fairyo's picture

I don't think so and if he is it isn't working. Despite everything my sister and I are very close- she didn't have a good time in her own marriage- and if he's seeking to cause a rift it won't work. We are going out for a family meal at the weekend and he's planning to come along. I'm sure we'll get over this 'hump,' I hate his sulkiness but he's met his match. I don't give attention to childish behaviour...

Thumper's picture

Fairyo

Having family stay long term inside a marital home is very stressful. I didn't read when your sister is leaving.??

More than 3 days is wearing out ones welcome.

Now add on top of the step family situation PLUS a long term stay arrangement.....this is trouble and nothing good will come of it.

Sisters time to go.
JMO

fairyo's picture

No- my sister is here until early December- despite the difficulties we are very close (she was almost a mother to me and I was traumatised when she went to live very far away when I was still a child) I have been to visit her in her far-away country many times and she always looks after me. Now she is a widow and elderly and I want to care for her as much as I can, but as you say, it is a strain.
We are working through our issues- DH is on his best behaviour now, she will be gone soon and I will miss her terribly. DH and I seem to be re-balancing our relationship and somehow her visit has helped that to happen, I know some of the things she did and said last year when she came helped me to see things in a different way and eventually led to my disengagement. Thanks for your advice though- no one else would be allowed to get away with the things she does!