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Sick days

skatermom's picture

My DH has his 3 kids every Wed, Thurs and every other weekend. BM is now working FT and DH is now working M-F 6-2:30pm. I work M-F 8-5. DH leaves the house at 5:45am to make it to work on time.

When he has his kids, SD12 goes on the middle bus at 6:50am (as well as my two) and then I wake SDs10 up 7:15am and their bus comes at 8am, then I drive in to work. I usually have to start at 8:30am on those days.

I've been thinking, what's going to happen when one of the twins is sick? I wake them up and they are just too sick to go to school, does DH assume that I'm staying home with them?

A little back story, DH just went to first shift a few months ago after being on 3rd shift for years and I recently got a promotion.

So I asked DH, "what are you plans if the twins get sick in the morning and I have to get to work?

His answer was, "I dunno"

So I said, "well you better think of something, because I can't miss work." Is it my responsibility to stay home with his sick kids because I'm technically the last adult out of the house?

Comments

Solidshadow7's picture

Nope. Call him, he needs to figure it out. It's also not your responsibility to wake his kids up, get them ready, or put them on the bus just because he chooses to go in super early. If he wants to work 1st shift he needs to bring them in early or find a sitter.

Blue Moon's picture

No, if SD is sick, then your DH needs to leave work to take care of them, or arrange for someone (not you) to watch them.

Soon, they will be able to stay home alone, so take heart!

advice.only2's picture

His answer was, "I dunno" translates to "I have never thought about this and when/if it happens I will already be at work so I won't have to worry about it."

For us when it came to sick kids DH always stayed home with SD, I would always stay home with BS...since BD is an ours baby we would switch off.

skatermom's picture

This was exactly his thought process. He never gave it a thought and to be honest, if I was in my old, more flexible job I could of easily worked from home, but in my new role, I need to be at work. It's enough that I'm late 2 days out of the week because of his kids.

AshMar654's picture

IDK, I guess it all depends if you want to stay home too. When SO started a new job and was not able to take off, he had only been there like a few weeks. I left work and picked SS up from daycare. It was more important to me for SO to do good at this job and the hours were great for us and the pay was good too. I had the time so I used it.

Now that he has hit his 90 days and I am out of sick days I simply told him I get called again I am calling him to stay go get SS or stay home. I think every situation is different. You have to pick what matters more and if you do not like his kids do not stay home if you get along and feel like a parent to them balance who has the time and can afford to take off.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I've done both, if I have something going on then I let DH know he needs to figure it out, he normally does. When possible I'll take a day off, it's not my Skids fault that their mom doesn't want to take care of them or care to and their dad is trying to get a good degree. He's gonna be making more when he graduates, so in the long run I feel like it's important for us and for us to finally be able to get financially stable, that he doesn't get kicked out of college, lol.

Plus tbh I could use days off, and sick kids sleep most of the day anyways so I can get all the stuff done without interruption!

skatermom's picture

She hasn't said anything yet, she tends to come in pretty late as well, but she's pretty high up in the company. Every day that I don't see her in her office when I come in late, I breathe a sigh of relief.

ntm's picture

It sounds like the twins need to go to before school care. You could drop them off on your way in to being there in time for work. They usually open at 7 a.m. The bus will pick them up there instead of at your house.

skatermom's picture

That doesn't solve the sick days problem, they still would need to stay home from that if they are sick

DaizyDuke's picture

Wouldn't BM want them if they were sick? does she work? and too bad if she does, she'd just have to come get them... or DH would. Of course by the time you got someone to leave work and pick the kid up you'd be at a 1/2 day of work missed, so might as well stay home. Kind of a no win for you. Sad

skatermom's picture

There is no way in hell BM would leave her job on DH's day to get those kids, I wouldn't even bother asking. DH is on an assembly line now 1st shift and is not allowed use of his phone. He can check it at breaks and lunch only. By the time he even looked at it, it would be mid-morning.

Can you leave a 10 yr. old home alone sick?

Today, they both woke up coughing away, I just gave them both cough medicine and sent them on their way.

DaizyDuke's picture

Both BM and your DH need to stop and think about what they would do if you weren't in the picture. Because honestly you should NOT be in the picture of being responsible for THEIR kids. So what would DH do if you didn't live there??? Whatever that would be he needs to start doing that immediately. But doubtful that will happen. So ridiculous how much crap gets pawned off on us SM's yet when it boils down to it, we are "nothing" to skids. Sad

skatermom's picture

Exactly. I make sure they eat breakfast, pack a lunch, are dressed appropriately, referee any fights, etc. I could be half way to work and not dealing with this. What really annoys me, is my kids are not older and on the 6:50am bus so are long gone. If I didn't have these two to worry about.....

Paintcrisis's picture

I drive school bus and I get to radio in to the schools sometimes that a kid is sick and can they please call the parents to pick them up when they get to school. . .

Sometimes I make my kids go to school while sick with minor things. Not, obviously vomiting or something like that which I am guessing you are talking about.