tankh21's picture

Thanksgiving break OH JOY!!!

DH has the skids this coming up weekend plus all next week and then the weekend after for Thanksgiving break. OH JOY!! DH doesn't leave them alone in our house at all since they aren't mature enough and they fight. After all of the fights about them especially lately I am trying not to make them my problem. However, DH doesn't have a babysitter for Thanksgiving break and he doesn't have a plan yet as to who is watching them for those 5 days. This is the kind of crap I am talking about and that is why I am trying not to make these kinds of things my problem.

ESMOD's picture

I assume that you have a job

I assume that you have a job right? So, he can't assume YOU will watch them during the week.

If for some reason you are NOT working, it sounds like a really good opportunity to go visit your family. "oh honey, going to see my sister next week. I didn't tell you? Yes, I did, I'm sure I did.. oh? Oh..well, I promised her.. so I must go."

Also plan some long days at work or other activities so you don't become the default or go-to sitter.

"oh no, you know I am swamped all week.. you will have to make arrangements".

Mrs Fireball's picture

Try not to get stressed about

Try not to get stressed about it. Look at this as a learning opportunity for DH. Don't rescue him and try to find babysitters, etc. for him. Let him handle it and you focus on Thanksgiving plans and family.
I have to stop myself from rescuing DH and handling stuff for him. It's really hard in the beginning but it gets easier. We have to retrain ourselves while we retrain DH too. Cool

Blood is thicker than water. But water tastes better.

Former Laundry Slave

hereiam's picture

Why would he have them over

Why would he have them over the break if he has made no plans for who will watch them?

tankh21's picture

Because in the CO my DH had

Because in the CO my DH had the skids in Odd numbered years for Thanksgiving break therefore they are his responsibility during that week not BM's. He is following the CO plus he wants to see his kids so.

hereiam's picture

But he is making no

But he is making no arrangements for who is going to watch them during that time? Okay. Seems a little irresponsible, to me.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Well kids just watch and

Well kids just watch and raise themselves right? Could have sworn that's how it worked...

Acratopotes's picture

why do you care... how is he

why do you care... how is he trying to make it your problem.... oh no... ask him straight out, DH what did you plan with your snots for the 5 days, cause I'm not available to watch them..

end of discussion and what ever happens you will not watch them, he can sort it out all on his own

Blended family life turned me into a pirate....
All I want to do is drink Rum and stab people

SneezyPepper's picture

I'm totally dreading break

I'm totally dreading break here too. I work from home and have an infant, so the week we have SD is all me unfortunately. I mean, I guess she's going to run wild in the house all week bc I sure as hell don't have time to "babysit" her. I feel your pain Sad

Acratopotes's picture

WHy would you just allow it,

WHy would you just allow it, why not say to DH, sorry but I work from home and I have a baby to look after, I can not look after SD as well, either she stays with BM or you take her with to your job...

Blended family life turned me into a pirate....
All I want to do is drink Rum and stab people

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

We're taking the Skids to my

We're taking the Skids to my parents, across the country... A bit nervous about flying with them lol... I've never flown with kids before and I never went on a plane as a kid either, first time was in college, so I have ZERO prior knowledge and can pretty well guarantee I'll end up watching the Skids during a lot of the travel, DH can sleep on anything. But at least when I get there my sisters are already super excited to watch them, lol.

tankh21's picture

I am not going to say

I am not going to say anything to my DH about it.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Works for me, keep us updated

Works for me, keep us updated tank.

DaizyDuke's picture

Ugh, I don't miss those days

Ugh, I don't miss those days at all. I work in education so I get most breaks off (just not summer) and it was so awful, because I'd be excited to have the week off, but then I'd be anxious because I knew skids would most likely be hanging around because they got dumped on us or were coming for their grab and go. Thankfully SD20 is safely tucked far away from me in another state at college and will do Thanksgiving at her boyfriends in that state. We aren't really sure what the hell is up with SS19 as DH hasn't talked to him in almost a year and he dropped out of school and BM2 stopped cashing and asking for support checks. I told DH I'm sure he'll be calling right before Christmas! But DH said whatever, all SS is getting from him is a Merry Christmas! Eye-wink

May the force be with you. Sad

ღIt's all fun and games until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm ღ
ツ I try to act nonchalant but underneath, I am chalant AF ツ

hereiam's picture

Do you work that week? What

Do you work that week?

What will happen if he makes no arrangements for his kids for the break? Can/will he take them to work with him?

tankh21's picture

Yes, I work that week for 3

Yes, I work that week for 3 days. DH will either have to take his kids to work with him or find a babysitter.

Goodluck's picture

IF dad doesn't have sitter

IF dad doesn't have sitter arrangements they stay with BM. OR as hereiam wrote above dad can take them to work.

Why do noncustodials always appear to have kids when school is not in session? Has anyone noticed this except me?

It's a joke. I cant imagine not having my bio's with me when they don't have school but apparently TONS and TONS of BM's don't seem to mind. That tells me they don't reaaaaalllly want their kids around but they sure do love the Child Support Drop on their state debit cards.

The second type of triangulation is a cross-generational coalition in which one parent forms a coalition with the child against the other parent. This is the type of triangulation involved in the pathology traditionally called “parental alienation”.

tankh21's picture

That's what a CO is for. I

That's what a CO is for. I mean BM really can't deny visitation to the NCP otherwise she will be in contempt. I agree with you totally and understand what you are saying.

Mrs Fireball's picture

I'm guessing OP's DH has the

I'm guessing OP's DH has the kids every other year for Thanksgiving break.

It's not a crime to want a break from parenting.

BM is an uncaring parent if kid is with NCP on lots of weekends. BM is a GUBM if she discourages extra time with NCP. It's a double edged sword.

Blood is thicker than water. But water tastes better.

Former Laundry Slave

tankh21's picture

Yes, my DH has the skids

Yes, my DH has the skids every other year for Thanksgiving break and Christmas break as well.

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

I am dreading the call from

I am dreading the call from SD13 wanting to know if she can come spend Thanksgiving break with us. Its not scheduled time but she usually comes over anyway.