Twit Called - Wants to Come Out for Holidays to Show Off Her Weight Loss
Yep, she called.....can she and her babies come out for Thanksgiving? And, can they stay with us because hotels are SO EXPENSIVE.
My immediate response to DH was an emphatic NO, No Way, No How. Now he has to be the one to tell her this.
The weight loss thingy, as we talked about before, is a real hoot. Seems, according to the message she left, she is down 4 dress sizes! This is less than 4 months! Wow, them toxins must be flowing out like a river! Yeah, right. My guess is that if she is loosing that much weight so quickly she must look like the saggy, baggy elephant. Or, and this is my thought, she had some kind of that surgery where they stapeled your stomach, band your stomach or whatever. Or she is flat out lying. Do note, she never mentioned just how much weight she lost, just dress size. I remember DH telling me before that he asked about how she would know this contraption worked and she said they would know by measuring her, not by weight loss, which seemed strange to me at the time.
AS I say, if she lost that much she must look like a saggy baggy elephant because at her age one's skin does not retract like it use to. Supposedly she went down from a 24 to a size 18. And we all know that the faster one loses weight, the faster one puts it back on.
Oh well, not my problem. Just curious about this genetic problem she claims to have.
A friend here told me her daughter has a genetic problem like that, but it is only affective during her child bearing years. That once she went into menopause she dropped weight much easier (and just think, for most of us it was just the opposite). But, there was no magic zoot suit that she was to roll around in etc. She just had to be careful about her eating habits.
DH is going to call her later and tell her she can't come. I'm certain she is going to throw the hissy fit of a life time when she hears that. Me, I am looking forward to another peaceful holiday season abiet I do so miss the snow.
OMG, she just wants to take
OMG, she just wants to take inventory of what items you have in your new home.
You have a great point there.
You have a great point there. The only reason she wanted us by her before was that she could keep track on things....get to the house first if something happened to us.
Have to admit, I was totally fooled by her before we moved down there. But then I had not spent a lot of time around her. Everyone of us have quirks, so to speak, but I didn't see the full picture until I was down there and around her.
Crazy is not welcome in my house at any time....holiday or not.
I'm dying about toxins
I'm dying about toxins flowing out like a river! She's such a nut!
I have had a hard time
I have had a hard time following TWIT simply because I did not get in on the story line from the beginning, but she sounds like an interesting character, to say the least. My toxins are on a 16 foot tidal surge any time I have to be around my SD, so I hear what you are saying lady. The only place for certain peace away from this insanity is our homes, really. I cannot stand to be near my SD for over thirty long minutes, much less hours. I avoid the thirty minute events like the bubonic plague as well.
Keep Twit elsewhere to preserve your own happiness, even if she claims she is toxin free; we both know she will certainly continue to overflowth her toxicity on to you, her real toxins are permanently implanted....weight loss or not!
Oh, even at 4 sizes smaller, sounds like there is a lot of flow left to go...LOL...
Canyouhelp - Oh Twit is
Canyouhelp - Oh Twit is certainly an interesting piece of work. I have never met anything like her in my long life and hope I never meet another one.
I do, at times, get on myself for not seeing her for what she was earlier when she first started off on me when we moved down by her. As people on this board can attest, I, like many of us who post here, was at my wits end.
This woman is a total nut job and she has left a lot of ruin in her wake. DH is the only immediate family member that has even a little to do with her. She has no friends, real friends; can't hold a job so she sells pots and pans. She has ruined her own children, who are now adults with the youngest, Drunkie, being 27+. Not one of them has a relationship with a woman that has lasted. All losers. It is sad how she still has them all tied to her and it isn't for their good. According to her, none of them could survive without her....which is how she raised them.
But then she is hundreds of miles away and that is where I intend to have her stay.
I thought Twit lived near by
I thought Twit lived near by and used to stalk your house.... didn't you call the cops on her as a suspicious vehicle, and then they caught her and pulled her over? I swear that was Twit...
yep, that IS Twit. That
yep, that IS Twit. That stuff went on for years. We finally moved across country to get away from her and her craziness.
She showed up one time earlier this year unannounced and uninvited and actually waited outside our gated community because they would not let her in. Unfortunately, DH drives by, sees her and invites her in. It worked out with us going to lunch and then leaving her and her brood to their own devices.
Twit is not someone I would walk near a cliff with or if I knew she was around. There is something very off about her that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise at times. I have never had that type of reaction to any one before. As my BBF, the profiler told me, trust my gut, if something feels or seems wrong it usually is; especially where Twit is concerned.
Distance, keep it...Twit is a
Distance, keep it...Twit is a super sized problem...hundreds of miles in between, is a blessing.
many weight loss programs
many weight loss programs dont work because you eat the packaged food and lose weight. people get the stomach staple because they cant or have chosen not to learn healthy eating habits and food choices. 24 to 18 is still big.
even so its good she is at least trying to lose weight and knows she has a problem. good for her. lets hope she does not pack the weight back on.
anyhow as op said its not your problem.
my issue is inviting herself and her family to your house for the holidays.
Hi Sugar - I agree, 24 to 18
Hi Sugar - I agree, 24 to 18 is big, but to do it in less than 4 months? Seems to me that would be very unhealthy but then what do I know. Rolling around in that suit must work wonders }:)
I also think that when you lose weight like that, as you say, once you go back to normal eating it all comes back.
Also, when you do lose a lot of weight and are older, your skin hangs and bags, even when you do it normally. A doc. will tell you that big, quick weight loss is a big no no.
But that isn't my concern, although I do find it interesting with Twit being Twit. Remember, Twit could not tell the truth if her life depended on it so anything she says, except when she say she wants something, has to be taken with a large grain of salt.
My concern is the wanting to visit us. Can you imagine me ever putting up with toxic Twit and her loser brood? Not in the rest of my life time. Bad enough when she showed up earlier this year unannounced. Made it clear to DH then I would not stand for having her around, that we had to move hundreds of miles away from her to keep our marriage and my sanity and health. I did tell him that if he wanted to go visit her it was okay with me, but not to expect me to have anything more to do with crazy.
And really, Sugar, we get on so well without all the tension and having to put up with the Twit's moods, drama, delusions, etc. Call me selfish, but at my age and stage, I don't want to give up peace and quiet for a moment.
sd just had a baby and she
sd just had a baby and she really packed on the weight during pregnancy. she would always poke fun at over weight people pre baby.
and then she gorged herself on breads and starches while pregnant. now she is huge even after baby. we all know what payback is dont we
Can't SD just send a photo
Can't SD just send a photo of before and after and call it a day? Dad and you can promise to appropriately admire her appearance via phone.
Of course she could, but she
Of course she could, but she wants DH to praise her for losing weight. She craves attention and adoration.
Oh, FWIW, she also mentioned in that message that her hubby has set up in the guest room because he can't sleep with the dogs bothering him. I caught that but said nothing to DH. My guess is that he has just moved out of her room.
Keep in mind that this is the Twit that accused an old man in his 80's of making moves on her, and the one boss she had for awhile she would dress up to the 9's for because he liked it...told her the old story about how his wife didn't understand him....blah, blah, blah.
When she told me about the boss, I outright asked her just why the guy was concerned about how she wore her hair, etc., and that it was none of his business. Foolish Twit just loved it. She is just the hottest little trick in shoe leather in her own mind. Her hubby got wind of that when she went off on me and made her quit that job, for which she was angry about having to do so. My guess is that she may be up to those old tricks again and something has given him suspicion all though Twit would never admit that. People like Twit crave that kind of attention so it did cross my mind. But, if her marriage falls apart, and separate bedrooms is generally a start, it is not my problem.
Say, just a thought, maybe that is why she wants to come out our way. I know that she can't stand being by herself when her husband goes overseas on business. She always has to have one of the "babies" come and stay at the house with her so she isn't alone.
Give it time, it will all come out when DH gets around to calling her back. IMHO, DH is dragging his feet on that, but then dealing with Twit, even for him, can be tough.
"She is just the hottest
"She is just the hottest little trick in shoe leather in her own mind. "
My OSD42 is a Twit in Training. She was raised believing she was so beautiful. Just ask her. All the guys wanted her. All the women wanted to be her friend.
I don't know if you have ever googled Histrionic Personality Disorder. Twit seems to fit the description, craving attention regardless of whether it's good or bad.
so many skids from
so many skids from dysfunction homes have personality disorders.
at least one of my skids is a clear narcisist. now that she is a new mother her opinion of her self is really inflated. she wants every one to wait on her.
one of the other skids is border line. suicide attempts promiscuity you name it.
only one skid the son seems to be relatively normal with a job and a wife.
bm really messed up the daughters.
Agree with you there Sugar.
Agree with you there Sugar. Out of the 3 adult children DH has, Twit is the loon. The others are making their way through life as we all do. Heck, the oldest daughter's son was a 2016 Forbes Mag. top 100 Entrepenuers (sp?) of the Year.
Twit and her offspring are the losers in the family.
You know, even in most dysfunctional families the adult kids have relationships with people....girl friends, etc. Not in Twit's brood. the middle one had a fiancée, but that came to an end.
DH use to laugh to me, when Twit would tell him that the young lady didn't want Twit to just drop by because she was in the area, had no intention of showing up at Mama Twit's every weekend to pay homage to her and do things for her. And ole 400+ lber? He just shows up, eats, and eats and eats and watches tv. He is in his mid 30 and has never, ever had a girl/woman friend. You start to see a definite pattern here. Twit and her brood tent to keep to themselves unless Twit says otherwise.
When she does have a get-together it is usually that everyone should bring something and IF you are lucky she will stick around for the event and not run off to sell pots and pans, leaving; or invite you for Thanksgiving and then, before the meal is even over announces that she and her babies are leaving to go SHOPPING! Off she went. That one shocked the begesus out of DH when it happened and he swore it would never happen again....and it hasn't. DH brought it up to her hubby, with whom she left us at the table and his response was: "Well, that's Twit". Like it was normal behavior.
I am soooo glad we are going to be here having a wonderfully happy Thanksgiving in peace and quiet.
Rest assured folks, Twit
Rest assured folks, Twit isn't coming here. No way, no how and DH knows how I feel.
When we moved away from Twit due to all the problems with her, we also moved farther away from my DD and I'm really not that happy about that either.
Please make sure the security
Please make sure the security staff at your gated community are aware of potential issues with Twit. I could see her just showing up and maybe convincing some newbie security person that she is really there for a Thanksgiving meal.
I agree with witch.hazel -
I agree with witch.hazel - Twit wants to check your new house out. Good for you for not allowing it. She's caused so much trouble in the past it would be hard to believe there wasn't some sort of ulterior motive for wanting to stay in your house. Glad you are saying, "No."
As far as the weight loss thing - we've all shopped for clothes and been amazed at the difference in sizing. Nothing is consistent anymore. It is possible to find clothes that say 'size 16' but fit the dimensions of a size 24 in another garment. My guess is she had a lucky day at Ross.
Hi there Sandye - Yep, Twit
Hi there Sandye - Yep, Twit has caused a lot of pain and hurt. I don't believe I ever could forgive and forget or start fresh with her because she just doesn't get it. She seems to get some kind of glee and thrill from hurting people, which is very strange and sick.
When she is nice it is also strange, like she is being phony but watching you carefully to see your vulnerabilities. When I talked to my old friend, the retired FBI criminal profiler, she was not surprised at all saying that fit right into her profile. She described Twit as an empty shark always on the prowl for something that will give her a thrill so to speak. She gets this by hurting people, putting them down, etc. That is why Twit is nice to someone, for awhile, she is feeling them out for their soft spots so when she is ready she can wound to the quick. The only way Twit feels good is when she does that because it takes away her empty feeling, for a while, and then she is out again.
My friend said Twit is to be pitied if Twit's mode of operation wasn't so cruel and destructive. She, too, has warned me to keep clear of Twit because I don't give Twit the reactions she so craves so Twit actually sees me as a threat. I poo-pooed my friend when she said that, but she told me to take it seriously. Based on what I told her over the years, what she saw the one time she met Twit at our house, etc., she did warn me not to be alone with her. Like many have said here, she could get physical.
SDM, Please read the
SDM, Please read the Wikipedia link and tell me what you think: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder
Wow Sandye -- there is a lot
Wow Sandye -- there is a lot there and a lot to be thought about. I have to digest everything in that article and read it again.
There are a lot of things that fit and many that I don't believe fit, but then Twit is very cunning and sneaky. She doesn't share much about anything personal about herself. But she will tell you about things with her babies, good or bad.
I thought the part about these people having a narcissistic bend was right on. As for being dangerous, I wouldn't walk near a cliff with her near me and she did try to knock me over one time. I remember how sneaky she was in trying to do that and when I called her on it, in front of DH, she started crying...never denied it...but said that I didn't fall (kind of like what was my problem). It was very strange, in her mind it seemed because I caught myself and didn't fall then I had nothing to complain about what was my problem. This is the reason my friend told me to stay away from her and not to be alone with her. That was a start for Twit. That I am in her sights.
When I say she watches for a weakness or place to strike, she has this look that she fastens on you when she talks to one. She never blinks and it is intense, not a stare, just that you know she is seeking something. Most of us, when we laugh you can see it in our eyes, they crinkle and dance. When she laughs you don't see that, the eyes don't reflect the "smile" or "laughter". My friend says it is because she is always looking for that soft spot and never lets her guard down. She said to note that Twit's eyes never fit her emotions except when she cries and takes the victim mode. She has learned that gets people to let their guard down and she gets what she wants.
When I told my friend we were moving she was very glad to hear that. With all her experience she said she actually worried about both my husband and I.
That is quite scary that she
That is quite scary that she is like that. I have come across a few people like that and it raised chills in me when I finally realized what they were capable of. My ex at the end of our relationship became quite scary to me and I would not have doubted in the least if he had tried to do away with me. When he found out I had diabetes he went out and bought me 10 lbs of candy. He walked in with to big bags of it. That same Xmas he bought me, I think it was 11 bottles of the sugary sweet liquers, like Lady Godiva chocolate liquer, Amaretto etc. This was odd as he is a reformed alcoholic who has not had a drop in 30 years and would get upset with me if I had more than 2 glasses of wine in the entire day even when we were on a cruise. Yet, he goes out and buys the sweetest liquor he could find and so many bottles of it. I refused to touch on drop from any of the bottles as I was so angered and hurt by his intention.
I actually was suspecting that he was putting something in my coffee as he would not let me pour myself a cup, he had to do it, and would shoo me away even if I was almost done filling my cup. He continued to do this until the day I departed to visit my mother. I truly suspected he was putting something in it while I was living there as I was quite ill. In hindsight what raised my antennas more was that he had already planned that he was divorcing me and how he was going to do it, why then would he continue to pour my coffee till almost the day I left. Now that I am away I am no longer feeling ill. I think that apart from being a narcissist, I think he is also a psychopath.
WHy can't Twit come down for
WHy can't Twit come down for a visit.....??
DH should not tell her NO, he should simply say, Oh hon it would be great if you visit, please let us know which Hotel you are staying at and maybe we can meet of for a dinner or something, unfortunately we do not have room to accommodate you...
see then DH never said NO, she can't be angry, if she does not come it's on her.... and if she's there she will never see the inside of your house and you can see if she lost weight or not }:)
Acratopotes - There is no way
Acratopotes - There is no way she can come by us....period. We had to move hundreds of miles away from her for me to feel safe and secure.
If DH wants to see her he can go visit her any time he wants, I have no problem with that.
This state is MY turf and I don't want her or any of her loony brood in it. And, given an inch she will go for a whole mile plus.
and how will we know if she
and how will we know if she lost weight or not.... hahahahaha
I'm only in this for my own curiosity cause we do not get allot of twit updates.... and that use to make my day lol.....
Now I will have to learn the hard way how to deal with adult skids....
Acratopotes - If you are
Acratopotes - If you are dealing with someone like Twit it isn't fun at all. It wasn't fun to feel like I had to be super alert all the time when she was around. It was not fun dealing with how she was always trying to get between DH and I with her tall tales and complaints.
If any one has to deal with someone like Twit, I pray for them. It can be flat out scary.
The only time I have known Twit to tell the truth was the day at my old house, when she danced down the driveway chanting about how she wasn't normal and never had been. Very, very strange. In looking back at that day, I believe she was sending me a message in a bizarre way, letting me know what she was. It was interesting, because the moment DH came out of the house, she quickly stopped and started acting (and acting is the key here) normal. Never, ever in my long life have I had anyone come out of the blue, for no apparent reason, and talking about how they weren't normal and never had been and be very pleased with themselves.
I personally think its GREAT
I personally think its GREAT that twit is NOT coming down. Hang on to the ground you have gained by getting so far away from twit.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jam - Sooo agree. Give the
Jam - Sooo agree. Give the loon an inch and she will go for a whole mile plus.
This way the line is drawn....she can't come. Of course if she comes out this way I can't stop her, but I don't have to give her lodging, food and entertain her which is what the cheap skate wants. My home is MY castle and the gated community my moot and I don't want her any where near it.
*sigh* oh twit... SMDH. what
*sigh* oh twit...
SMDH. what a crazy b**ch. i'm in agreement that she wants A)your dh's 'adoration', and B)to case the joint. something tells me she won't get either.
"Serious problems with
"Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation and abuse of others.[1] While they generally have no problems in establishing relationships, they may have difficulties in sustaining and maintaining them.[9] Relationships with family members and relatives are often strained due to their behavior and the frequent problems that these individuals may get into"
Sandye - I caught that from the article you referred me to and THAT is right on. To Twit, family and "friends" are to be used to her advantage. She EXPECTS them to buy her pots and pans. She use to call her father "to see how he/we were doing" and then ask us to watch her dogs, drunkie or whatever. At first we did it not realizing that the only time she came by was to drop them off and to pick them up. She had no intention of having a relationship with us, we were just free dog sitters while she and her hubby went galavanting over the weekends. Of course, she was never going to do the same for us, THAT would be putting her out. Inconsiderate? You bet. Would say she would be back at a certain time and then not show up for hours...no phone call, nothing. Then show up with some cockamamie excuse and totally ignore if you asked her why she didn't let you know. No respect or consideration for any one.
It didn't take me long to pick up on this, though DH didn't seem to notice. She would suggest we all go out to eat and then let DH pick up the tab! After all, as she once told me walking out of the restaurant....there is nothing she likes better than FREE, EXPENSIVE food!
She really got evil once the dog and drunkie sitting stopped, and the free food no longer happened. You see, she wasn't getting anything she really wanted. She could give a hoot about DH, just what he could do for her.
Thus that fits her to a tee.
I thought it was interesting
I thought it was interesting that this condition 'used' to be be referred to as a sociopath. When you mentioned that her eyes never seemed to match her fake emotions it sounded too familiar.
I once adopted an older child who acted similar to Twit. When she was 13 I could no longer control her lying, stealing, manipulation, etc. Had to hand her over to the state. Thank goodness I did because a year later, in two separate instances, she tried to kill counselors with butcher knife. She was finally diagnosed as a sociopath. When your friend advised you not be alone with TWIT it was probably a good idea.
Wow, Sandye, that must have
Wow, Sandye, that must have been scary for you. You were very lucky.
"When she was 13 I could no longer control her lying, stealing, manipulation, etc." I found this interesting in your post Sandye. Because when Twit was in her teens, I think it was around 16+ or so, not certain, she as sent to live with DH because "she couldn't get along with her BM". She wasn't with him all that long because she got married the first time shortly after she graduated from high school. Her current husband is her second marriage. She has been married to him for over 30 years I think.
I think when DH told me Twit has "problems" he may have known a lot more about her than he was letting on. Of course, as any Father, he didn't want to believe it.
And prior to us moving near her before, he never really had to put up with a lot of her nonsense, deal with her. Now he knows better. He loves her but he limits how much effort he will put into her.
FWIW, early in our marriage, Twit started telling me things about her siblings. Many not nice. I asked DH about them and he said they were not true (which I have found to be the case) that Twit like to make up tales and "stir the pot". He was furious. I guess he called her up and let her have it with both barrels telling her he didn't want her to have any contact with me because of what she was doing! I wish it had stayed that way, but it didn't, sigh.
Years later, and I mean over 10 years or so, she brought that up to me and was asking me why her Father told her that. Very sweetly like she was my BBF, but strange in that she in a way was trying to pit DH and I against each other. Now I am not certain if she was blaming me or her Father, but I took it as it was against DH. When I responded that she would have to ask her Father about that, she went into a crying jag about how terrible her Father was. What kind of Father would do that to a daughter. Poor her. Gawd, I was never so glad when that car trip ended to get away from her. Was her original inquiry really against me? I don't know as I never thought about it in that way since I had done nothing. But regardless, once again she was trying to "stir the pot" between DH and I. Oh, she never asked DH about her "grievance". This was one of the first times I actually saw how she went into the "poor me, aren't I being mistreated and put upon" routine.
Yes, the 'manipulation' was
Yes, the 'manipulation' was probably the worst part of it for me. I was even accused of being an unfit Mother by a police officer who later told one of his fellow workers he had not idea what I was going through. My adopted Daughter was very smart at convincing strangers that I was abusing her, but people who DID know her knew better. Like your DH, I was desperately hoping if I gave her love, she would change.
If Twit was lying about her siblings you can bet she was lying about you. And I'll bet the whole family knew. Perhaps your DH was hoping for Twit to change somehow when you moved closer to her but Sociopaths rarely see the light. Last year my adopted Daughter found me on Facebook and publicly accused me of being a horrible person. I had to block her. Just like you had to move away, and 'block' Twit from your home. I hope that your DH can come to terms with the fact that whatever the cause, there is very little he can do. You are doing the right thing by not allowing her in your home.
"If Twit was lying about her
"If Twit was lying about her siblings you can bet she was lying about you. And I'll bet the whole family knew"
Sandye - Is there any doubt? My guess is that is one of the reasons the other members of the family have nothing to do with her. The only one who seems to be her "pal" is Wacky Auntie; and you should have heard what Twit had to say about Wacky! But since I don't go starting trouble Wacky would never hear things rrom me. Trust me, those two can really stir a pot full of all kinds of untruths etc. Wacky is Twit's mother's youngest sister.
UPDATE - Twit didn't
UPDATE - Twit didn't come...guess she got the message. BUT, she called DH to wish "us" a Happy Thanksgiving and can she come out for Christmas? This caught DH quite by surprise as she brought it up in the midst of other conversation (the ole spring it on him when he doesn't have a clue it is coming trick) so he told her he'd get back to her. BUT, I told DH, No way, no how is she coming into my house and I am not going to meet her anywhere like that one time. He DID take care of it, luckily when he called her she wasn't home so he just left the message on her machine.
Must be lonely for her....the only one's that come to her house are her loser brood; none of their friends, girlfriends (because they don't have any) etc.
I am so glad not to have to deal with her, her losers, her insulting gifts any longer.
I did tell DH that if he misses her he can go visit her any time, but he says he doesn't want to do that. Actually, he doesn't want her here either. Our life together has been oh so much better without having to put up with her.
Good for you for saying 'No
Good for you for saying 'No way' after she tried to spring the 'surprise' on you. Luckily, she is eventually going to 'get it' you are not interested in having any kind of relationship with her.
Oh, the weight loss --- he,
Oh, the weight loss --- he, he, he. Seems she has this genetic defect that keeps her from losing weight and generally 90% of those affected are women. That is why when DH asked if she was having the 400+ lber checked out, she said no. Now, on this matter, yes, some women do have a genetic problem like this but it usually only lasts until menopause for some reason. AND, they are not required to roll around in some stupid suit so toxins can come out.
Also, she admitted to DH she IS taking diet pills. Umm, that is not what she first told him. As I said she is so full of BS that is her real problem.
Oh, but now she has a....tumor....on her thyroid which is also affecting it functioning. Honestly, if she had a tumor and a weight problem I think the docs would operate to get rid of it because that could affect the thyroid. As I say, she is so full of BS. One of these days something serious is going to happen with her and none of us are going to believe it.
I was just thinking that perhaps we should invite her out and then be GONE, I mean totally away from here perhaps up in Las Vegas, when she comes. Kind of payback for those times she invited us over and then got up and left to go sell pots and pans, etc. Hey, payback would be a b*tch for her. But NO, I won't do that. That would be stirring the pot and all I want is peace and quiet...but I can dream.