stepmama1979's picture

my step son is better than yours

sorry, have to show off a little....so proud!!!

elementary school/ social services called on him for inappropriate behaviour. (poking a girl with a pencil saying this is what it feels like when a d##k is poking you)

gr. 8 suspended, set a locker on fire or something like that... could not attend graduation party ( mommy and daddy were pissed at the school)

this year: found pot in his room/ he gave SO the story ohhh i just wanted to try it... i don't like it, i want to be fit for hockey etc.

few weeks after that, more weed hidden in his room.... joints are rolled so darn freaking neatly- he has been doing this for a while!!!!

last month school calls and advised SO that his precious child is on the way to hospital in an ambulance .... he was vomiting a lot...SO calls me and i roll my eyes cause i just knew... SO goes to hospital, his son and few of this friends got someone with fake id to buy them alcohol- during spare period at school they went to the park and had few too many, returned to school and started puking their guts out during gym class.... ambulance was full of puke and his buddy even pissed himself- GROSS 7 hrs in the hospital!

few days ago, i check in history on his computer: how to sell drugs without being caught/ PORN/ Porn chats/nude pics/ how to grow magic mushrooms at home/ how to weight weed etc. how to stretch your foreskin...

he is 16 years old.

by now you must be wondering about punishment, right?
NOTHING, SO said he won't let him drive with him ( he just got his permit and like 2% of the time SO let him drive) he took computer away but NOT access to internet, which he can get from his phone & tablet.

this child talks back, argues, always has to have the last word... no manners.
once i went to bed early and he was walking up and down the stairs ( very squeaky) so SO said can u stop going up and down every 2 min..... his response was...no, 11pm is quiet time.... cause it would really kill him for once to do this 1/2 hr earlier!

wish SO would push him more to get a job....and not selling drugs job!!!!

i have dd 13 in the house and had many talks with her re: fairness/ rules/ punishment.... i just don't want her getting the idea this is ok and no punishment will be given....

if he was my child: no internet (since its just for porn and drugs info) if u want ur own internet u pay for it...get a job...extra chores etc

would you have a hard time liking this child? i seriously don't want to do his laundry, cook for him.... i don't even get a hello when he walks in....unless his dad is nearby.

if i tell SO this, he will be like ok....then i don't go grocery shopping etc.... it's a game to him! yesterday he got mad at me cause i made my child grilled cheese sandwich and didn't ask him if he wanted one ( he was outside) he grabbed his keys and went to grab take out,,,, did bring himself a coffee but not me...who does this?

i feel like i am living a nightmare.......someone wake me the f##k up!!!!


Powerfamily's picture

You don't need some one to

You don't need some one to wake you up, you need to get the hell out of Dodge.

Why are you staying.

witch.hazel's picture

I'm so sorry! And I really

I'm so sorry! And I really want to know why he would want to stretch his foreskin....

futurobrillante99's picture

Foreskin can get tight and a

Foreskin can get tight and a some men undergo a circumcision late in life due to a painful contracture of the foreskin. Ouch. Might be something he wants to get checked.

Look up Catherine the Great and the Grand Duke Peter. He had this problem.

stepmama1979's picture

i have no clue....do boys do

i have no clue....do boys do that?

how hard is it to clear your history!!!!
i always get this feeling that something is wrong...2x now i found drugs & alcohol in his room..... his dad would never check!!!

futurobrillante99's picture

Manchild behavior? I'm pretty

Manchild behavior? I'm pretty used to the petty stuff. DH commented a couple of weeks ago that it seems like I'm PURPOSELY not doing his kid's dishes. Yep, that's right, darling. His response? To not wash ONE POT that my son used to cook pasta which my son left the EXTRA pasta sitting in after dinner (in case anyone wanted some). I found it in the morning. So for all the dozens of dishes I've already washed in the last 3.5 years, DH won't wash one pot. My son doesn't LIVE WITH US. DH washes up after his kids almost every day. My kid is there maybe once or twice a month and uses dishes on a rare occasion.

Men can be worse than women.

stepmama1979's picture

i don't understand.... my SO

i don't understand....

my SO has his kids 50/50- he should want to do everything with them/for them in that time... like cook, go out , laundry, clean up etc..... WHAT A REAL PARENT DOES!
WHY DO THEY THINK JUST BECAUSE THEY LIVE WITH A GIRL THAT THIS JOB TASK NOW FALLS ON THE GIRL!!!!

i am a full time mother.... i don't get breaks at all!!! why should i cook for his kids and do their laundry!

i don't ask for help!

this makes me so mad!

Dishcop's picture

I'm so sorry for your

I'm so sorry for your situation. My SS17 is pretty on the same path and his biomom who is my So has no clue. I am seriously considering leaving as I know that my SKIDS will never change, never amount to anything, and be nothing but a source of grief for years.

I've just had my first counciling session about this and it helped me in a big way. If I may, I'd suggest you see a councilor yourself and see what comes out of that. As hard as it is for me to walk away from my SO, I've come to realize that my SO is a key part of the the issues and the SKIDS play her like a violin. It's hard but sometimes you need to do what is best for yourself. I wish you all the luck in the world !!!!!!! Smiling

notsurehowtodeal's picture

If he is sending nude

If he is sending nude pictures of himself and law enforcement finds out he can be charged with child pornography. If he starts selling drugs out of your house it is possible DH or you could be held responsible - look up civil forfeiture.

This does not seem a good environment for your DD to be in. I agree with the advice to seek personal counseling.

StepRightOff's picture

A full time mother?! What

A full time mother?! What does that mean? Another way of saying you don't want to get a job to support yourself and your daughter?

No matter what you say to her, your daughter has every reason to be just like your ss since his is the only life example you are showing her. Don't blame him when it happens. Your SO doesn't parent his kid but what kind of parent are you being by making sure she grows up in this environment? Children learn what they see.

stepmama1979's picture

what i mean by a full time

what i mean by a full time mother is that she is with me at all times, her dad died so i don't get a break like my SO when his go to the birth mother.... he does not have to drive them to school/pick them up/ take them to activities/parties etc everyday....just on his time.

i have a full time job and support my daughter and i 100% he does not help with my daughter financially at all.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Practice this line for DD "I

Practice this line for DD "I don't care what the other children are doing. Your mine and you won't be doing that."
This is my go to for when other kids do whatever they aren't allowed to like climb up the slide and then start crying when others hurt them on the way down. UGH.

Sigh. Sorry your DH is so on top of the kid. Good luck.

Some days are hard but you just fight through them to get to the good ones.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

I am happy for you to win

I am happy for you to win this with your stepson.

I am sorry - some of this sounds like my SS. I have tried, but he does what his Dad allows. Your probably does too.

stepmama1979's picture

what i mean by a full time

what i mean by a full time mother is that she is with me at all times, her dad died so i don't get a break like my SO when his go to the birth mother.... he does not have to drive them to school/pick them up/ take them to activities/parties etc everyday....just on his time.

i have a full time job and support my daughter and i 100% he does not help with my daughter financially at all.

Acratopotes's picture

". i just don't want her

". i just don't want her getting the idea this is ok and no punishment will be given...."

She will never get that idea , belief me..... went down this road as well with my own bio...

he would say, but why can she do it and I'm not allowed to... I would simply reply, because I'm your mother and not hers... this is my rules, if you don't like it you are welcome to move out and live under a bridge somewhere...

Now years later Deigma gets it..... Aergia was raised as a free roaming child, and her name is the first name that will pop up if a bunch of guys are looking for a easy girl... my son does not even mention he knows her or that she's almost a step sister...
SO gets it now and wants to know.. why is my kid liked and well behaved, even his family prefers my son above his daughter... I always say... cause I parented my kid you allowed free roaming, now it's too late..

Blended family life turned me into a pirate....
All I want to do is drink Rum and stab people