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Birthday....

tankh21's picture

So DH gets the skids for 2 hours on their birthday from 6:00 pm until 8:00 pm so he texted BM today since YSS's birthday is on Monday 9/25. She came back with well then he is going to miss dinner and his party. Well b**** if you read the CO you would know that their father gets to see them as well and after all it is a CO!! BM is beyond self righteous and a hypocrite. She thinks the CO only pertains to DH. She just wants to have DH by the balls and he just wants to spend time with his kids. He doesn't discipline his kids but he has never missed a visitation with them and actually wants to spend time with them. Poor BM isn't getting her way. }:)

Comments

strugglingSM's picture

So many BMs seem to love to throw the CO in their ex's face when it suits, but also love to pretend it doesn't apply to them.

Can't she have YSS's birthday "dinner" before 6pm or maybe have cake with him after 8pm? Is she the CP? She should be happy that your DH is asking for time, as opposed to many NCPs who don't always want extra time.

Our BM loves to offer "extra time" when it suits her (i.e. when she needs a babysitter), telling DH she can't understand why he doesn't want to see his kids more often. When he asks for extra time on his own, however, he's just being inconsiderate and trying to "disrupt" her life.

tankh21's picture

I have no idea she just played the emotional manipulation crap to try to get her own way. She has no problem doing it either.

twoviewpoints's picture

But this isn't extra time nor is Dad asking for extra time. This is as standard as Thanksgiving and 4th of July in COs.

I think were it would be hard for BM this year is if Dad also has this weekend. If BM had tonight through Sunday evening, no biggie she could have birthday dinner and party/cake. She still can if she waits until next weekend. Trying to have a kid party or an extended family dinner can get tough during a week night.

However, BM can look at a calendar as well as Dad. BM knows Dad gets this birthday and it's Monday, so she was silly if she planned on the child being home 6pm-8pm Monday.

Question, OP. Does Dad get both boys for the one boy's birthday , or just the birthday boy?

tankh21's picture

No the CO states that DH gets the skids on the day of their birthday from 6:00 to 8:00 pm. So it is just the birthday boy. It works the same with both boys. BM failed to read the CO or maybe she forgot or she did read the CO and just doesn't care and just wants her own way. Who knows the point is DH gets 2 hours to be with his son so BM needs to comply.

strugglingSM's picture

Maybe your DH should reply "he won't miss his birthday dinner. He'll be having his birthday dinner with me, like always."

If she planned his friend party during that time, it might be a little trickier, but really who plans a kids birthday party from 6-8pm during the week.

strugglingSM's picture

I'll add that I think sometimes people get themselves all in a twist over sharing what's in the CO with the kids, but I think that it's not a bad thing for the kids to know when they can expect to be with their NCP.

When I first met DH, BM would change his time with the kids all the time to suit her needs. The kids never knew where they were going to be.

About a year after I met DH, BM demanded a mediation (still not sure what for), so I pushed him to use that as an opportunity to make the language in their CO stronger about not switching at the last minute. I also helped him pull together a calendar that the kids could use, so they would know when they would be with their dad. BM wouldn't even consider it. She was too busy crying and pretending she was going to be sick to consider much of anything. She now loves to claim that she plans trips over DH's weekend because she "didn't know it was your weekend" when she booked the plane tickets. That's funny, because I have his weekends blocked out on my calendar for the next few years, so when I'm planning things, I know if DH can go or if he has to stay home to be with his children.

moving_on_again's picture

We had the same arrangement and BM actually hid the kids one year. SO waited in their driveway and SS showed up but MSD and OSD never did. SS was bawling because he knew he was supposed to go with SO but didn't want to get in trouble with BM. It was OSD's birthday. SO just ended up leaving SS there, too.

The psychological damage that woman has done to her kids is mind blowing.

moving_on_again's picture

BM is an idiot. Ours was EOY so we just celebrated the next time we saw them. No big freaking deal.

twoviewpoints's picture

That being every year and not every other year makes it more ridiculous that BM is pretending not to have known/remembered.

The kid is going where the kid goes every year from 6 to 8 on his birthday. She must be low on things to whine about this week if this birthday, that happens every year the same, is al she could come up with.

If she doesn't like it, she has no one but herself for letting it get in the CO this way to start with. I've seen some that alternate year to year on the child's birthday but then also gives the parent the parent's birthday every year with the kids.

I love dogs's picture

Of course she plans a "party" on a school night knowing darn well SS is supposed to be with his dad.

If DH does take him, BM will cry to SS about poor little me who made plans but dad won't allow it.

justkeepstepping's picture

4 kids totaling 30 birthdays so far....we've never once had the party on a weekday. School night or not. Do you think she's bluffing? Or do you really think he has a party planned with friends?

I love dogs's picture

Of course she planned a party even if it's just a couple family members. It's dad's time don't you know?

tankh21's picture

She just wants to make DH out to be the bay guy and tell SS that dad is keeping you from your birthday party that I planned for you. My DH is not just following the CO he actually wants to see his son on his birthday and of course BM paints a different picture.