Just had to stop in quick and confess to you all. I know most of the old timers had been frustrated with me dragging my feet to leave already.

Last fall, I got a RO on STBX. When we went to court to get it made permanent, the judge decided it wasn't serious because I didn't call the police and he never personally threatened to beat me up. He only said 'You need the sh*t beat out of you'. Whatever. So, I'm ashamed to say I let him move back in and we went to counseling together. The counselor never addressed the abuse. She just said that yelling elevates stress levels in adults and children and that women are more inclined to love their spouses if the spouse is kind to the children. WTF????

So I put up with it for 10 more months. Made excuses like he wouldn't sign to sell the house, and seeing how the justice system won't help me, etc. . .

Meanwhile, he kept dumping his kids on me and called my younger daughter a little b*tch (hey, he was kidding and it didn't seem to bother her. Again WTF???), told my older daughter she needed the sh*t beat out of her too (hey, he didn't say he was going to do it so it's ok), and accused me of having online sexual conversations with men while he supported my ass (in front of the kids). Oh and he constantly yelled at our son, serious yelling so the neighbors heard.

We just signed an acceptance of an offer on our house last week. So I told him yesterday (our 5th wedding anniversary) I was leaving. He was surprisingly civil. He did say I am on social media too much so that's the reason I want a divorce, WTF?

I know he will turn nasty when he sees that his tears and sadness didn't sway me. I will call the cops this time.

I just wanted a place to write this down when I feel guilty, all the things he has done in the last year. That will help keep me angry.

But then, I just want peace and to heal.

Please don't put up with what I have. Be kind to yourself and realize you deserve to be treated with respect and your kids deserve not to hear their parent being torn down by anyone.

Much love to you all. I have to go work my 5 jobs now.