When To Teach Sex-Ed
Hi all! This is my first ever forum post on this site! I am so excited I found this web page and I am really hoping to get some good use out of it.
[QUICK background: my boyfriend was previously married for about six years and together they had a four year old boy...he and I met and fell in love and he unexpectedly found out she was due with their daughter...it was unfortunate timing and I was not in the picture when she got pregnant. Fast forward through all the hell and bull shit and storm clouds...to nearly three years later, where my man and I live together in our own home and the kiddos BM has her man living with her and everyone co-parents well, finally! (We live in VA and they live in SC, so we do what we can long distance, but still see them often.) My man and I are expecting our first baby in just eight short weeks!!!]
Their son - I call both kids my SK's at this point - who is now seven has been getting into trouble lately and ***I need advice.***
SS is in 2nd grade and got in trouble the other day, when BM found him in bedroom with two year old SD touching her private part. He said he "just wanted to play." She scolded him horribly and sent him off to his room. DH got on phone with SS and asked him plenty of questions as to why he did this...went on to tell him he "could go to kid jail" for this and hurt any girl he did this to. SS cried and whimpered that he understood. Fast forward to next day - BM is told at SS's after school program that he touched another girls privates! DH and I happen to be going down for our visitation this weekend, so will see SS, SD, and BM in person...but we are figuring out ways to handle this.
Things we may do ->
~get him kid-friendly books aimed toward body & show him pictures/explain certain topics to him (but this may be too young???)
~send him to the school counselor
(if none above work) ~somehow get DH full-custody & moved up here with us
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE...really struggling with this one!!
#coparenting #stepmom
#coparenting #stepmom #stepparent #sexual #scary #help #elementaryschool #advice #blendedfamily #siblings #school
This is meant with all
This is meant with all possible kindness:
As this is your boyfriend and you are not the young man's parent, there is nothing for you to do here. Disengage, and never let your child or yourself, be alone with this troubled young man.
This is to protect yourself and your child. At 7, this child should understand boundaries already. As he does not, expect things unfortunately to get worse. Disengage to protect yourself.
The school should notify CPS
The school should notify CPS and they will be able to guide the parents in how to handle the situation. At minimum the boy needs professional counseling - not a school counselor. Often when a child this young acts out in a sexual way he is or has been abused himself.
You need to back away from this whole situation and protect your new baby. Let the parents handle the child.
ahhhh that's dads job OR bio
ahhhh that's dads job OR bio moms when they see fit.
Never, ever, ever be alone
Never, ever, ever be alone with this child. Never, ever, ever let your own child be alone with him.
CPS should be all over this.
CPS should be all over this. I would be surprised if CPS was not already notified by the school. Schools are required reporters of this kind of stuff.
I have to agree with another
I have to agree with another post :Often when a child this young acts out in a sexual way he is or has been abused himself". This is what happened to my cousins kiddo when she got a new partner.
"get him kid-friendly books
"get him kid-friendly books aimed toward body & show him pictures/explain certain topics to him (but this may be too young???)"
If he has been touching girls private parts and molesting his own sister then it is time to start talking to him about sexuality, consent, privacy and so on. He needs to see a private child psychologist who specializes in sexual abuse. School counselors specialized in GPA's, proper class placment, etc. These issues will be above their pay grade. The school also needs to take action and be made aware of these issues. There's a boy at the school I work at who has to use the staff bathroom since he was inappropriate w/other students. SD2 needs to be protected and also taught about privacy and boundaries.
Someone has probably been touching him inappropriately. It could be an adult or another child or a group of children but your DH needs to help get to the bottom of this w/out scaring him. Threatening him w/ kid jail at this age may only make him afraid to talk about what really happened.
Agree completely with this.
Agree completely with this.
That is not normal seven year
That is not normal seven year old boy behavior. When a child is molesting another child - that is what is happening here - the child doing the molesting should immediately be sent to a therapist. Children molest other children when they themselves have been molested. Again, that is not normal behavior for a seven year old boy. That is deeply concerning behavior.
Consult a mental health professional stat!
they can help determine where this behavior came from. This is something you need to get to the bottom of before it escalates and a Child Protective Services gets involved.
Ya he doesn’t need books he
Ya he doesn’t need books he needs intense counseling NOW! It can happen that kids become curious at a young age but don’t know what they are doing. HOWEVER, this screams sexual assault to me. As others have said, kids tend to do this because they themselves were abused. CPS is about to be involved like it or not so I suggest you get him to an emergency therapy session like yesterday.