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Would you let your son go?

Cutter's picture

SO just called me and asked if ds can go camping with him, his boys and his dad this weekend. They are going out to his dads property to shoot guns. Ds has never even seen a gun and I know he would love to go do this but I am hesitant about it. Any advice? I told him I had to ask ds who is sleeping.

Comments

Livingoutloud's picture

Are you in Europe? Why is your son sleeping at 3pm on Tuesday? Isn't he school age?

DaizyDuke's picture

Right?? Her bio says Virginia. I'm in NY and I believe we are the very LAST to return to school... some returned today, the rest tomorrow? So why is kid sleeping at 3 pm on a school day?

DaizyDuke's picture

On your bio page that YOU typed in. Says you are from VA which, unless I fell out of bed and hit my head and turned into an idiot last night is the abbreviation for Virginia.

Acratopotes's picture

but but but where do I find my bio page....... or do I have to delete and register and then fill it in correctly..

}:) }:) obviously I'm stirring a bit now

Cutter's picture

We are both home today because we caught what SO's kids had this weekend.

DaizyDuke's picture

I thought you said in your "eclipse trip" blog that your SO's boys weren't very nice to your DS?? Why in the world would you want to send him off on this trip, so he can be trapped with boys who don't like him and treat him like crap?? :?

Cutter's picture

They didn't always include him and tbh he made it a point to annoy them. On this trip they did really well together. So invited him to go and I think it would be a good opportunity but I am worried about the guns. Ds has never been around them.

DaizyDuke's picture

You're his mother. Why are you asking a cyber room full for strangers what to do? :? If it gives you an uneasy feeling, then don't send him. It's not like it's going to ruin his life if he doesn't go. And what is this good "opportunity" anyway?? An opportunity to go shoot guns??

Cutter's picture

It's an opportunity to shoot guns. I'm looking for other experienced moms who have allowed their kids to shoot guns or go on camping trips with their boyfriends. I'm asking for their advice.

Dovina's picture

Excuse my ignorance here, but isn't there an age requirement regardless of supervision to shoot guns?

Livingoutloud's picture

Are you saying anyone can shoot guns unsupervised at any age? Like 2 year olds too?

Livingoutloud's picture

I wouldn't. But people do crazy things. Few years ago some crazy gave his 5 year old a gun as a gift and he promptly shot his little brother. I think in KY.

Livingoutloud's picture

There are many other opportunities to shot guns if that's what you want.

You can't really ask strangers that. We all have different life styles. You can't make decisions about your children based on what strangers think. Personally I wouldn't send my DD to shoot anything and certainly she wouldnt be camping with a guy I dated for 7 months.

Cutter's picture

I was just looking for advice from people that are in the same situation. I realize now I shouldn't have asked this here.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

I would not have trusted any of my exes to take my son shooting. I prefer that my husband takes the kids if they are around firearms because I know he is invested in their safety and health. I've only briefly read over your posts but I believe your bf is very concerned about his kids and their happiness. I guess the question is "how likely is he to make your child equal priority with his in the event of something terrible happening?".

AshMar654's picture

Put it this way if you are serious about living with your SO and being with him you and your son will be living in a house with guns. Best thing to do in my honest opinion is to make sure yout SO teaches him gun safety and shows him how to properly handle them and make sure they are always locked up.

I get you being uneasy letting him go with SO and doing this. I would be too. I would suggest that your SO taking him to a local shooting range with you and demonstrate everything this way you feel comfortable and safe too.

IMHO.

Indigo's picture

NRA gun safety course for youth BEFORE sending minor BS to hang with other youth. They may be poorly educated & your BS may pay the price.

BESIDES, your BF has consistently demonstrated questionable parenting decisions.

Kid is home from school sick on Tuesday ...

WTF are you thinking ??

Ninji's picture

I grew up with guns. I don't have a problem being around them or having them in my home. My husband has been talking lately about taking SS to the range. If you have read any of my blogs about SS, that is a horrible horrible idea.

So, my advice to you is that if you are ok with your son being around guns and you trust everyone involved, I would say yes.

Just know that even the most experienced and responsible gun owners can and do have accidents. Growing up, one of my class mates was killed while out hunting with family. He had been hunting most of his life. Destroyed his family.

moving_on_again's picture

It hasn't even been a month since SO's nephew accidentally shot himself. They used guns almost every day. Accidents happen.

secret's picture

I would let my son go with his father (ex-h), because it's his father. Truthfully, I'm not worried about that ever happening, because ex-h has zero interest in anything that doesn't involve his computer chair, mouse, and keyboard.

I would let my son go with my husband, but not without me. Not because i don't trust him to ensure my son's safety, but because his idea of safety isn't mine and if my son's gonna be shooting guns, I'm gonna be there.

Cutter's picture

SO, his dad and his sons all hunt and I know they are, the adults anyway, extremely cautious about safety. I just worry and I am worried he will miss out on learning about guns because I am worried. I'm thinking of letting him go. I don't know though.

AshMar654's picture

No sure if you saw my reply. My SO has a ton of guns and my SS has been around them and seen them. he will be 9 in about a month he has never held them. he will eventually but my SO has already begun to teach gun safety. I did not grow up with guns my Step-dad offered to take me to a range and shoot them my mom had no issue with this as I was 16. In all honesty if you a a little nervous go with your SO and your son to a local range and watch how your son is around guns and how your SO handles it.

If I were you I would want to see first hand what is happening before I let him go. This will put your mind at ease, I promise. Guns are a big deal and you need to see first hand if your son is mature enough to handle them.

moving_on_again's picture

I would let my son who is 18 go with my fiance of 8 years. I hadn't even met SO's kids at 7 months.

--figureditout--'s picture

My boys have been raised with guns. SD as well since she lived with us for 13 years. When her mental issues came about, she was no longer included in anything to do with weapons.
This is a question only you can answer.

thinkthrice's picture

Depends upon the maturity level and emotional stability of the people involved. Guns, like any tool can either be used or abused. I know I would NEVER trust SD, for example stb 19 with a firearm. She was the one who popped my older Siamese cat in the butt with a BB gun at age 8. Annie Oakley she was. But she's also an animal torturer.

Now I know OSS stb 21 has gone hunting here and there in the past and he is the most mature out of all three--which isn't saying much. YSS 14.5? Nope wouldn't trust him--he's a jack-a-ninny and a clown.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Depends upon the maturity level and emotional stability of the people involved.

^^Absolutely this. I trust my DH to show ANYONE how to handle a gun. He's handled guns since he was 6 and was also professionally trained in the military. But his kids/skids??? Pfffft. The ONLY one of them who I'm willing to be around when handling a gun is PrincASS18. The others? I want to be in the neighboring STATE.

queensway's picture

I would never encourage anyone to use guns. You are just promoting danger. Who cares if your DH knows how to handle a gun. Other people do not. Guns are part of what is wrong in this country and going to a neighboring state is not going to help you.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Was Annie Oakley, like I am, accurate with either hand shooting a pistol OR a rifle? If so, I'm proud of the comparison.

I'm also trained in martial arts. I've broken a few bad-guy bones without needing a gun.

FrenchPeas's picture

Guns are nothing to scared of if you know how to properly use one. That is all there is to it. My son is 14 and he enjoys shooting

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Not even violent people. Careless people, thoughtless people, people with priorities other than OP's kid. This post isn't a gun issue. You could replace a weekend of shooting with any other possibly dangerous activity and it would spark the same sense of unease. I truly don't believe OP is asking for an opinion on shooting, she is looking for reassurance that her boyfriend is interested in blending. My answer? No, he's not, and I would not trust him to make my kid a priority over his kids, his dad or even the family dog.

Disneyfan's picture

I would say NO because

1. I wouldn't want my kid ouy shooting guns.

2. If I didn't have an issue with guns,I wouldn't want him out shooting with people I barley know.

3. I wouldn't allow him to spend a weekend with a kid who was mean to him a few weeks ago.

4. I wouldn't allow him to spend time with a man who I have to push, prod, or persuade into being in long term relationship with me

Indigo's picture

LMAO.I PM'd Cutter regarding my opinion of guns, young males, fake "male-bonding" rites, oral-tradition-training AND ---- my danged auto-correct kept typing "BRA Safety Course" instead of NRA.

{Snort}

EDIT TO ADD: grew up with guns. Target with .38 & .45 .. elk-hunting with an "ought-six." My BS is learning -- exDH testosterone huffs periodically but is decently safety conscious. Wouldn't trust his well-meaning family w/my boy's life.

still learning's picture

Every man should take a BRA safety course. Those sling weapon boulder holders with the hooks on the end can be super dangerous!

WTF...REALLY's picture

If my son was puking and running a fever on a Tuesday I would make him stay home and recuperate from the weekend. It's school season and that is more important.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

First I would make sure your son really wants to go shoot guns. Do you know what kind of guns are involved? Depending on the shooter's size and strength, some guns are not fun to shoot. A rifle can have enough "kick" to hurt your shoulder. An handgun can be powerful enough to make your shot go way off course.

I would worry about the older boy challenging your son to shoot something too big for him to handle. Will SO pay attention and step in if need be? I'm not sure you know enough about how your SO will deal with your son. Your son could easily feel left out and intimidated.

Acratopotes's picture

After reading all your blogs, nope I would not send my son with my boyfriend and his son's...
especially not with a boyfriend who does not want to be honest with his kids telling them you are his wife to be, they have no say in the matter, not with a boyfriend who always leaves his wallet at home,

I simply would not do it, what if he leaves his wallet at home again and your son is shot by one of his kids, by accident? Why not introduce your son on a safe shooting range to guns first...

ESMOD's picture

I agree, the BF sounds like he is not the most responsible adult at times and that his kids have also proven to not be good "playmates" to your son.

Handling firearms and the vigilance and safety involved should be something you shouldn't just send your kid off to learn. You should be present and also learn what he is being taught and if needed, you can step in if things take a dangerous turn.

Livingoutloud's picture

Why are you saying she is his wife to be? They aren't engaged. In fact he said he doesnt to get married any time soon. How is it a gf became "wife to be"?

Acratopotes's picture

To the above posters....

"wife to be".... why are you in a relationship if not to get married one day? i never said they are engaged or living together, but why the secrecy.... his kids are under the impression that she's merely a friend... not even always with them..... or that's how I read her blogs....

His kids are not allowed to know they are dating ... BS in my books, sorry.... why would you be in a relationship if there's no long term plan, unless some people do not mind changing sex partners monthly..

IDontCare3117's picture

I imagine his kids are old enough to realize they are dating. To say that she is his wife to be is incorrect, though. Dating doesn't mean eventual or even potential marriage.

Why would they always be together if they are just dating?

Acratopotes's picture

The issue is not my wording and how I see it....

the issue is her BF is unreliable and his kids does not like her son, why would she even think of sending her kid with them?

IDontCare3117's picture

I agree with you on this. I wouldn't have kids around weapons on anything but a closed and controlled range with certified instructors around.

Disneyfan's picture

"wife to be".... why are you in a relationship if not to get married one day?"

Plenty of people are in relationships who have no intentions whatsoever of getting married. This man has made his intentions crystal clear to the OP. So no, she is not his wife to be.

beebeel's picture

Have YOU even seen your BF handle firearms? Do YOU even know if he is responsible with them?

Unless I had extensive PERSONAL experience with the person wishing to use deadly weapons around my child, I wouldn't even consider it.

I've watched far too many gun "enthusiasts" brag about their aim, their arsenal, and their gear, only to get to the range and watch them act like complete fools. I have cut shooting trips short because I won't put MYSELF on a range with some moron waving a loaded gun around.

So, unless this is something you have done and witnessed yourself with your nd and his dad (and anyone else who may be there), I can't even believe you would consider sending your child who has zero experience with firearms.

I would say one in THREE gun owners that I know should not own guns. They are idiots and no amount of gun safety cures stupid.

twoviewpoints's picture

I think I'd thank them for the invite and thinking of your son and politely decline to weekend.

I will assume , being that the plan is to shoot on the grandfather's property, grandpa lives fairly rural and these people have grown up with guns and shooting. However your son has not. He's twelve and from previous post, perhaps a bit immature. Your son needs a gun safety class and some supervised practice before I'd let him go. Even nothing else, for his own safety and your sanity.

I live in the central middle area of my state. From my area down you'd be hard pressed to find a kid with access to 'country' that didn't grow up without a gun and target shooting and hunting. But again, that's not your kid and you really have no knowledge on what guns and shooting they are planning. Not to sound mean, but I doubt you'd know even if they told you because you're not a gun/shooting person.

Keep your kiddo home. Guns aren't toys and first timers (IMO) shouldn't be out with a group of children (even when two adults are present). If it turns out this is something your son and you decide he'd like to learn about and take up, do it the right way. Prepare this kid and be sure it's done safely and correctly and that you and son are both knowledgeable and prepped for such an outing.

still learning's picture

Yes let the kid run around in a loin cloth, beat his chest and shoot guns like a real man. If he's still sick that's ok, it'll toughen him up. Throw up like a man! It'll be good clean fun male bonding. Wink