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Just need to rant

Frustrated4ever's picture

I am so done. Done with the drama from a spoiled brat SD, done with biting my tongue because I am trying to be the saint, the adult who has her precious feelings in front of mine. Done with being treated with a modicum of niceness when she wants something, and being the kind person I am and doing it for her. I was told to go F$*# myself and that I was a piece of sh%4 while we just got done with a European vacation. It breaks my heart I feel like this because she is part of my husband, who I adore. I can't stand the way she breathes, the way she hums, the ways she laughs, the way she chews. Her very being in the same room with me sends me over the edge. This is my only way to vent in a neutral place. These kids push, and push, and push.....and as soon as we stick up for ourselves WE are the ones who are the adults, the ones who should know better, the ones who have to not name call but treat them like little delicate snowflakes. No respect for adults, let alone a stepmom, no consequences. And our hands are tied as stepparents. She talks, sasses back, is a pig, leaves bloody maxi pads on the floor, doesn't listen, and I want to punch a wall. Defeated today, and I hope she never comes back over to our home.

hereiam's picture

She would never be allowed to come back over to my home after that. How old is she?

I really don't understand the mindset that kids get to do whatever they want or speak however they want because they are kids. That is certainly not how I was raised!

advice.only2's picture

The reason SD thinks her feelings are more valid than yours is because her parents put her on equal footing with them. They have taught her she is an equal in their world, she is not a child, therefore she will not act like a child.

Best thing you can do it back away, remove any extra funding from events with her and allow her parents to continue to feed the beast they have created.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

^^Yep. My SDs will soon learn what happens when StepMonster's funds are no longer available. If they'd act like DECENT human beings instead of mini BioHo tw@twaffles... But, no. So they can go ahead and be mega beeyotches. They're officially dead to me and I don't spend my money on dead people.

MoominMama's picture

Had that problem with SD here. When DH and BM were together they had that attitude towards parenting. Thus SD grew up thinking that she had equal footing and her opinions and feelings came first. When DH and I married, because of her attitude towards me he began to see the error of his ways. He changed his attitude and all hell broke loose.

Dovina's picture

She sounds awful. Consider her gone from your world, especially if she is an adult. If she cusses at you cuss back. I used to be of set mind to turn the other cheek, be the bigger person. Nope, hasn't helped me any. Let er rip!!!

tessa12's picture

Okay, wait. She sounds vile, but to me the real issue is what did your DH do when she swore at you?!

Frustrated4ever's picture

He went ballistic and screamed at her. Mortified that she would even talk like that, let alone to me !

TSD's picture

WOW!!! This sounds just like my 10 year old SD but instead of maxi pads it is wet nappies being left everywhere!!!! I wouldlove to know how old this charming creature is and what your partner has done to stop her from being a devil to you.

I can only wish you strength and wine!! I hope she stops coming to your home soon xo

Frustrated4ever's picture

She isn't allowed to come back to our house. He is pretty much done with her as well. Hate to say it, but she is 2 years from being an adult and our position is she can start understanding her actions have consequences. Her mom has done a number on her (alienation to the 100th degree). It breaks my heart because I think relationships between a daughter and dad are the most important. I know for a fact she is already sleeping around. Textbook issues. She is 16 and at times acts like she is 10. So sad. And yes, I have a lot of wine.

MoominMama's picture

She sounds so like my SD then 16. The dirty habits, attitude etc. Everything you describe I felt. Hating being anywhere near her (the smell!) being able to hear her special whining voice she put on when she wanted something from Papa, in fact her voice at all. I disengaged. The only relief I got was making a secret diary on my computer where I let out all the hateful stuff. In the meantime I kept to myself, let DH deal with her and rose above it all. Eventually she just imploded and stopped coming over. She could not get what she wanted: me to leave. Although, she did then go on to cause as much toxic drama involving her BM, their friends etc, starting a smear campaign against her father and I involving trying to turn all his family against him. Oh it's been fun!

Kyle Busch Fan's picture

So what your saying is that your done? lol Sorry I had to say it and put a smile on your face.

Frustrated4ever's picture

Yes, DONE. Well, today is the day she was supposed to return to our house and thankfully she is staying with her mother. I am jumping off the crazy train. Her BM has done a bang-up job of alienating her from her dad for the past 10 years. Whatever my husband and I do is never good enough when it comes to SD16. The hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars spent on driving SS16 all over the South to one stupid softball tournament after another but according to SD16 last night (for the hundredth time) her dad doesn't support her because he wasn't involved in one of the various teams her mom signed her up for where practices were almost 2 hours away 4 times a week. God forbid my DH said no, he couldn't do it. It is STILL thrown in our face. BM has NEVER accepted no for an answer and SD16 is the exact same way. Always fostered hatred since the time she was little. One of 1,000 examples....... I rented a condo for a softball tournament to make a beach weekend out of it. SD16 (who was 11 at the time) left her cell phone on the counter. 10 text messages from her BM all starting with "Please delete don't let them see this" about how she called the team's recommended hotel, I was lying to her about no rooms being available etc. - after being berated and yelled at by the little brat about why we weren't staying with the team. Sorry chica, I would rather slit my wrists than sit around a pool at some motel with your mom's friends. So rather than BM every teaching her daughter to be grateful for her father, it's always what he is doing wrong (i.e. not being dictated by her psychosis). So, as I said in a prior post, she told me to go f*** myself and that I was a piece of sh**. I did respond with a horrible name (Immediately apologized and cried.) To date, I have not received an apology. However, "she" texted DH last night (100% written by her mother) to apologize to HIM, and then she took over and proceeded the whole BS about him not supporting her, etc etc and I am still brought into it. The difference between her and her brother is I can tell him to clean his room without it turning into why did you ruin my life. So, from here on out, she can take her messed-up Daddy issues and stay the hell out of my way!!!!

Frustrated4ever's picture

Yes, DONE. Well, today is the day she was supposed to return to our house and thankfully she is staying with her mother. I am jumping off the crazy train. Her BM has done a bang-up job of alienating her from her dad for the past 10 years. Whatever my husband and I do is never good enough when it comes to SD16. The hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars spent on driving SD16 all over the South to one stupid softball tournament after another but according to SD16 last night (for the hundredth time) her dad doesn't support her because he wasn't involved in one of the various teams her mom signed her up for where practices were almost 2 hours away 4 times a week. God forbid my DH said no, he couldn't do it. It is STILL thrown in our face. BM has NEVER accepted no for an answer and SD16 is the exact same way. Always fostered hatred since the time she was little. One of 1,000 examples....... I rented a condo for a softball tournament to make a beach weekend out of it. SD16 (who was 11 at the time) left her cell phone on the counter. 10 text messages from her BM all starting with "Please delete don't let them see this" about how she called the team's recommendeded hotel, I was lying to her about no rooms being available etc. - after being berated and yelled at by the little brat about why we weren't staying with the team. Sorry chica, I would rather slit my wrists than sit around a pool at some motel with your mom's friends. So rather than BM every teaching her daughter to be grateful for her father, it's always what he is doing wrong (i.e. not being dictated by her psychosis). So, as I said in a prior post, she told me to go f*** myself and that I was a piece of sh** after getting off a plane from Paris. I did respond with a horrible name (Immediately apologized and cried.) To date, I have not received an apology. However, "she" texted DH last night (100% written by her mother) to apologize to HIM, and then she took over and proceeded the whole BS about him not supporting her, etc etc and I am still brought into it. The difference between her and her brother is I can tell him to clean his room without it turning into why did you ruin my life. So, from here on out, she can take her messed-up daddy issues and stay the hell out of my way!!!!