in2deep's picture

Whyyyyyy is pro active communication so hard for BM?

Yesterdays pick up was an interesting one.

Sd 11 is with us mon to fri for the summer. She is in camp mon-fri. The camp is located in the heart of our big city, close to my job (so I can drop her and bD 5 off on my way to work and if any emergenies I can be there in 10 mins)

At the beginning of summer I told BM that SD would be at this camp ALL summer long minus 2 weeks in July where the kids were doing summer stuff with DH and I. The arrangement was she picks up SD from camp on Fridays as its significantly closer to BMs house as opposed to having to travel all the way to our house in the suburbs which is a 2 hr trek for her by public transportation. Ok. Camp pick up is between 3:45 and 4:30pm after that you have to pay if you are late.

Yesterday, BM texts DH at 3:15pm to ask if she could pick up SD early. We assume she means from camp. She also texts me separately asking if she could pick up SD early just after 5pm. Im confused because thats way past camp hours. Anyway I tell her im picking up the kids at 3:45 because I like to get them early so that I can beat traffic from dowtown and I have to pick up my son from daycare back in suburbia by our house. She says she understands if I cant wait for her at the camp and I tell her she can just pick up SD from our house coz I actually couldnt wait definitely not all the way after 5pm.

So I get the kids, bring them home and my DH is telling me that BM is blazing off his phone saying that she thought SD was at a camp near our house (we never discussed putting her into a camp near our house), and that if she was downtown why I couldnt just wait for her for 15mins (umm remember how I got there at 3;45 and she said she would be there after 5...YEA) and how the two hour trek to our house is now out of her way and is inconveniencing her (even though she originally thought SD camp was in our area and wanted to pick her up from us just after 5 from our house). I literally was like wtf? And laughed.

Instead of BM checking in early in the week regarding pick up arrangements she texts DH last minute. Doesnt realize her daughter is at a camp downtown (even though i told her this) and literally if i had missed DHs text for any reason i would have not picked up SD assuming BM was coming for her as she has done all summer and SD would have been stuck at the camp for 45mins to an hour after it closed because bM would not have gotten there on time.

Why? Why is it so hard for her to check in and pre plan.

And now shes all pissed at us saying how we are inconveniencing her on purpose and im sure she assumes it because DH is being spiteful towards her. Smh. Can school come back already so we can go back to EOW, dealing with this weekly is so annoying.