SOooooooo sorry.

Is there any way, any way possible that you can find a hand full of glitter?

Go outside and throw it in the air. Then walk back into the house. That is what you will do from now on regarding his children. DONT be mean or ugly---to them.

Let dad handle their personal hygiene, day long video games, homework, chores, their laundry, their dirty bedrooms (if applicable) 3 hamburgers a day....allow everything go in the air and into dads lap. HE is dad your are not Mom.

You are present for your husband and your bio's. Your step children have 2bio parents. You are not one of them. Hope that makes sense.

It is that easy.

Hate to hear a good marriage fail.

IF their rooms stink, close the door. IF their dishes don't make it into the dishwasher let them sit in the sink. IF their diry laundry isn't done by dad, sooner or later your dh will do it.

Poka, you sound tired and you are not alone feeling that way. Many of us are here because we are sick and tired of the step BS; along with living with a weakling,doormat daddeee. A man who decided to live on a different planet with his kids, far alien to us.

Fortunately, for some of us, we have less of it...you are dealing with a lot, a lot of kids and a lot of interaction. I am stressed for you just thinking about it...It is hard to disengage from it when you can never get a way from it. So, let that be your goal, to let HIM step up to the dadeee plate and you ignore it all, shut the doors, let the house be a mess until he realizes social services may get involved if he does not parent his kids..geez...If you do this and nothing changes and you are still very unhappy, start making plans to physically get away from it with your kids...

No wonder you are tired. You have to find some personal refuge, some peace away from this chaos. If/when you decide you cannot live this way, start planning for your financial future alone. Make certain YOU are happy and do whatever it takes to make that happen for you; you are the only one who can do it....

Stay strong....

I am going what you are going through however my stinky, dirtball SS is 21. He would fit in with yours perfectly. DH says that he "talks" to him. Personally I think that is BS. If he "talks" to him about his actions or inactions then why is SS still doing what he is doing (or not doing).
Hey I get the fact that I am the evil step mother. But total disrespect in my own home. Nope. I have been dealing with this for 7 months and tonight I packed my bags and moved out.
I hope that DH gets the message loud and clear now. He has been calling me and texting me but I am not responding. I told him that I will not be home until SS moves out but not to wait to long because then I will next go to see an attorney. Stay tuned. It's a shame that after all that we have been through that this 21 YO punk is going to ruin our marriage and DH is going to allow it. What is he thinking?
I just need to stay strong. I don't have any wisdom for you, wish I did.