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Never take SD on vacation, or maybe it was a good thing!

LindaLee's picture

We invited and PAID for my 2 sons, SD, their SO and 4 grandkids on a 4 night cruise to celebrate our 20th anniversary. Within 24 hours, my SD went ballistic and told off my BS, his girlfriend, her father and myself for an incident she made up. She got in my face and screamed that she puts up with my shit daily and she bites her tongue for the sake of her father!!!

That night in the casino, she came up to her father and kissed him on the cheek. Was that her apology? He didn’t acknowledge her and we turned and left.

My SD, her SO and 2 grandkids did not show up for dinner and stayed to themselves the remainder of the cruise.

This is the girl, in her senior year of high school, her BM dropped her off at my in-laws to live, I convinced my husband to bring her home with us.

This is the girl, who wanted to go to summer camp at Wesleyan, and I paid for it.

This is the girl, who bought her first car, and I gave her extra money for the down payment.

My DH wants nothing to do with her and her drama anymore. This is not the 1st time she’s disrespected her father, but it is the last. I’ve already disengaged from her, but I am so glad he finally saw her spew her venom at me.

notasm3's picture

If this means you can totally wash your hands of her then it's a good thing.

I was having contact with SS32, his GF and their baby until their utter stupidity of deciding to use our home (uninvited) while we were out of state for two weeks. I hated feeling so violated that someone had been in my home and used my stuff - I was livid. But in retrospect it was worth it.

Now I blissfully never have to see or speak to them again. It's lovely.

hereiam's picture

Probably should have left her right where BM dropped her off.

Why did you have to convince your husband to bring his daughter home?

LindaLee's picture

She would lie and get in trouble with us and go live with her mom, then get in trouble with her and come live with us. At that point, my husband said she would be a bad influence on my 2 sons and didn't want her coming back. I felt bad and thought, but she's your child!! I suggested a step program. If she can behave, she comes back until she finishes high school. Then, we'll see how things are going. A month after graduation, she's lying and getting in trouble again, so we packed up her room and said "Apparently you're not happy living with us, so here you go"

CANYOUHELP's picture

It is great that your DH understands the dynamic of his family now and has responded accordingly. How ungrateful, you even paid for her cruise, kids, etc., and then she goes all ballistic on you-even there, seriously? Just goes to show you, there is nothing you can do sometimes to ingratiate yourself as a SM to step adults (especially if daddeee permits it to go on).

So sorry you wasted so much time and energy on her, but congratulations on having a supportive DH. Out of the bad, can come a lot of good-for your marriage.

Rags's picture

I am sorry you and your family had to deal with that toxic crotch nugget's crap.

However, why on earth did you even offer to take her and her family on the cruise knowing full well her history of inappropriate behavior and toxic bullshit?

As the saying goes... fool me once... shame on you. Fool me twice... shame on me. I assume that she had pulled this kind of crap far more than twice.

You and DH need to write her off and move on with your lives with her crap fading into your rear view mirror.

Good luck.

LindaLee's picture

I suggested a family vacation, but what I really wanted was just MY family. I couldn't very well say we'll invite and pay for my kids, but you're daughter isn't invited. He has never refused my family in any way. And we love the grandkids, they are well behaved (they didn't inherit their mother's mental illness).

DH hoped that she could be normal for 4 freakin days on a glorious paid vacation in the Bahamas, but in his heart, he was waiting for the shoe to drop. It took less than 24 hours.

Prior to this, if I said anything about her negative actions, he became defensive. He said I always pick on her. Now, he finally supports me and it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

ChiefGrownup's picture

We took both skids with us for our wedding in mil's state. 2 weeks later we all went back for the Christmas visit.

I have never had to travel with SD since. She behaved so badly on both trips all my in-laws lost their minds.

It was not up to me. It didn't have to be. DH was deeply embarrassed.

Sometimes these horrendous vacations have their silver lining.