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Sick and tired of the expense

Itsybitsy's picture

Anyone else completely fed up with the constant money flushing? Child support, plane tickets, additional child care costs, lost wages, plus the butt load of money spent on skid during visitation. We spend 3times more money on a kid that doesn't live with us than we do on the one that does. I have done the math. I'm sick of it. Oh and let's add NEVER being able to take a vacation or do anything because his PTO is ALWAYS used for visitation, but then he gets mad when he can't come with me and our child when we go visit my family. Ugh, Ahhhhhh. And Tomorrow begins 3 weeks of chaos.

Acratopotes's picture

Disney Dad...

a father who rather wants to be a friend then a parent and the skids turns into disrespectful little brats cause Daddy gives them what ever they want and can't teach them NO

pinkb's picture

Hi Itsy... absolutely. Until very recently when I took over the household finances my DH had never seen a penny he couldn't manage to spend. SS just turned 21 and DH *just* learned the word "no".

As tough as it was/is to swallow... what's just recently working for us since I've taken over the finances my husband basically gets an "allowance" (not as bad as it sounds... that's just what's left to do with as he pleases AFTER all our joined household expenses are taken care of INCLUDING payments to his credit card bills, cell phone, etc. which wasn't getting taken care of before because when he was done blowing money on the kid and $20 lunches, etc.) He can spend whatever he wants on the kid with said "allowance" except lately that's coming down to buying the kid a pricey monthly "care package" at college or gas to get to work.

It's the only thing that's worked for us. Good luck and let us know as it gets better!

goingcrazy00's picture

Yeah it's ridiculous. It got to a point where I wanted to do stuff with either SO or SO and kids but he couldn't afford it so I would offer to cover for 90% of expenses. No more of that. That made me resentful super fast. Really starting to learn to say NO. Although it's not easy because I'm a giving person and I love treating people. I just don't like being used.