So it begins...
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Oh joy...at SS's b-ball game SD4 decides to whisper into my ear, "my mom is better than you." This coming from hearing "I love you so much" multiple times before his game and her just having a blast with me painting her nails whatever colors she chose. But in that moment, I guess none of that was relevant. So this is how it begins, eh? Over my dead body...she can grow up to believe that all she wants (after her BM ingrains it in her) but I'll be damned if she ever feels the need to repeat any sh*t like that to me again.
Hmm good thing or bad thing?
Hmm good thing or bad thing? I would never take SD as a pot stirrer but now that I think about it, she does do a whole lot of comparing of her mom and myself with her mom always being better. Ugh disgusting.
She's 4 years old, it's not
She's 4 years old, it's not really her speaking now is it lol....
I would simply answer - Yes Honey I know Mummy is allot better then me, I have rules and I'm not your friend.
Don't sweat the small stuff.... make it clear, you are not her friend, you are an adult and you have rules and boundaries.. that's about all you can do. You can also do less of the girly things with her, start changing it, if she wants her nails painted her room must be spotless first
My 3-year-old nephew is the
My 3-year-old nephew is the lovingest, huggingest, sweetest little boy 99% of the time...and then he'll turn to me and tell me he hates me out of the blue. He does this to everyone...but my sister says he talks about me at least once a day and wants to see me all the time. Once, he told my mom: "I hate you!" and then, when I took him out to the playground 15 minutes later...he told me he wanted to go to the store to buy grandma some flowers and then take them back to her house and cuddle with her on the couch.
I once babysat a little boy at this age who repeated: "You're a MEAN person!" for about 10 minutes because I gave his little sister a turn being pushed in the swing.
Kids this age love you one minute, "hate" you the next (though I don't think they really know what the word means)...and they have no filter at all, so you're getting whatever floating thought happens to be crossing their brain at that moment.
I agree this can be really hurtful and frustrating...but I wouldn't take it too personally.
This. I was hurt when my skid
This. I was hurt when my skid said certain things to me at this age, but when my bios reached the same age and said the same types of things, I realized it is just the age, not the kid and not their true feelings. I think they are trying to figure out emotions and how certain things effect others. It is probably part of the development for empathy. I would just say, "Hey that's not a very nice thing to say. I'm glad you think you're mom is great, but you can just say that without trying to make me feel bad." With my own kids, I would sometimes just say sorry you feel that way or too bad when they said hurtful things. It is just what they do, you are just more sensitive to it because she is your stepkid.
When my YSS was little he
When my YSS was little he used to say mean things to DH when he was mad. DH would never correct him but I could see that it hurt his feelings. Considering the MSS and OSS are Pro's when it comes to manipulative nasty actions toward DH, I decided to step in and put a stop to it whenever possible.
So one say we were all going somewhere and I can't really recall the circumstances but YSS was angry about something and started to take it out on DH. YSS in his fit said "I love my BM More" Well, I initially looked at DH to see if he was going to handle it and of course, he just sat there saying nothing.
So I spoke up. I told YSS to settle down and stop the crying immediately. Then I said, "I will not sit here and listen to you say mean things to your Dad or anyone else again. How would you feel if your Dad or SM12 said to you "We like MSS, OSS better and don't want to see you anymore" That would really hurt your feelings. So KNOCK IT OFF and don't let me hear you say another mean thing to your Dad again"
He was mad at me for a bit because he isn't used to anyone correcting him but he got over it. And I only had to correct him a few times after that about saying mean things. He is now the best kid out of the three SS's. Sadly, I wasn't involved with the MSS and OSS at a young age to try and help with their attitude. That is purely on DH and BM.
Yeah I told her that what she
Yeah I told her that what she said was like me saying that SS is better than her but that I would never say that to her because you don't say mean and nasty things like that to people you love. Just hoping something got through to her.