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BM Sends Crazy Email to DH on Mother's Day

TwoOfUs's picture

So...I've been debating about posting this for a while...but what the heck.

I don't know what has come over BM lately...maybe because the youngest kid just turned 17 and she's facing an empty nest soon she's freaking out. SS19 is moving out next month...SD21 has been gone for a couple years now...

She sent DH this really weird email around Mother's Day entitled: "A Look Back" or some such title.

It was looooonnnnnnggggg and basically went into detail about the early years with each skid, including their birth and bringing them home from the hospital...her thoughts, hopes, dreams for each in that moment and how they are now...how proud and excited she is for them...etc.

I saw it in his email and snuck a look I'm ashamed to admit. I normally don't do that, and he normally shares all of her communication. He didn't share this, which is why my interest was piqued when I saw it in his inbox, so I snuck back in and read it later.

I don't remember much of it, but I do remember that she went blow-by-blow through the birth of each skid and it included a line that went something like: "By the time I was pregnant with YSD, the births of the other two had left my pelvic floor so weakened that we met with our doctor to go over a birth plan and opted for a Caesarian. While I was disappointed at the time, thinking back, I am so glad I didn't deliver YSD vaginally, as it would have put more stress on my body than I could have handled."

Honestly...she went blow-by-blow like this through each skid, stuff like time of birth, pooping on the table, being unable to get them to latch, post-partum depression...this line just stuck out because it obliquely references her lady bits.

Is this totally insane or is it just me? NEVER had anything like this happen before.

Comments

AJanie's picture

Some women think all of that is beautiful and an out of this world experience that just must be relived and celebrated, and maybe they think other people give a shit. I am sure they were "special" moments to your husband but there is no need for the email. That should have been left as a "dear diary" entry.

I feel like we are mammals and a kid coming out of a vagina is literally commonplace. Maybe once I have one I will get all teary and emotional about it. Idk.

BethAnne's picture

Pretty crazy. Is she writing a memoir and wanted to share the kids parts with your husband? That is the only explanation I can come up with.

CLove's picture

Sorry, to the BM's out there, but YUK.

My stomach turned also when I saw a text during Munchkins 5th grade promotion from BM that said "our baby is all grown up! LOL" I saw it when I was reading what she told to SO concerning the fact that we left Winona home to go to the promotion ceremony and because she does not drive, at age 18, she missed it, and of course its all our faults.

This is kind of crazy, like something you would write in a letter to your children, not your ex. But BM's like to keep that old flame fanned, if they can, we know this!

TwoOfUs's picture

lol.

OK - I thought it was really weird. She's never once given the impression she wanted to keep the flame going or was anything but thrilled to get rid of him. She sees him as a joke / second-class parent / atm...that's about it.

I won't bring it up to DH because it will only out me! Smile I know him well enough to know that he will delete this email and not respond.

TwoOfUs's picture

lol.

I was just generalizing, but she did talk about labor pains, sweats, contractions - gory, graphic detail on each. Then about PPD and failure to latch, sleepless nights, etc. when infants.

Now I'm wondering if, with CS ending in less than a year (yippee!!!) she's trying to maintain some sense that he owes her for all this...

hereiam's picture

That is weird.

Maybe she doesn't feel important, now that her kids are grown. Maybe she feels giving birth was the only worthwhile thing she has done, so she's rehashing it.

It's kind of like people who constantly re-live their high school or college glory days.

TwoOfUs's picture

I think you're right. This would be my guess for sure. She's done nothing but coddle children her whole life...has wrapped her whole identity in it...and now they're about to be up and out.

TwoOfUs's picture

lol - I don't want her to go anywhere now!!! Now that the skids are nearly grown and she's milked us for all we're worth! It's her turn...

ntm's picture

Ranks up there with my DH's song he wrote for OSD. The one where he goes through the delivery process line by line. Even has the audience picturing BM's hooha as we watch the baby's head appear. I don't allow it to be played in my presence and told him it was pretty gross for anyone else to have to listen to.

Acratopotes's picture

isn't BM thinking about the CS she's not getting anymore..... now she wants DH to pay for her designer fanny }:)

You are allot stronger then what I am, I would've printed it and copied it and teased DH about it till the day we both are gone lol.....

BSgoinon's picture

This woman needs to learn to journal. Seriously, I MIGHT understand writing this stuff down for whatever reason... maybe for when she is old and needs help remembering the details. I dunno... but to SEND it to your ex? No way. Too far. Maybe gift her a journal and a good pen, and tell her to keep it to herself.

hereiam's picture

Exactly, and that's why I hate the ability to text, sometimes. Some people cannot figure out that not every thought in their head needs to be texted to someone.

BSgoinon's picture

Same... just like status' on FB... one of my favorite lines from the movie "Easy A"

-"I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?"

sunshinex's picture

Honestly... It sounds like she's lonely and wanted to remind him of something she perceives as special that they shared, but that's just my opinion.

It's really creepy for sure. I remember once BM got out of a relationship and messaged my husband randomly. She said something about how he gave her the best thing in her life, SD, and how thankful she is for that... blah blah blah.

He responded with something like "than why don't you ever call her?" because BM in our situation doesn't EVER put any effort into her daughter. We have her full-time and she NEVER calls or asks to see her. She only sees her in the summer because BMs mom makes her.

So it was kind of funny.. her reminicing about something she clearly doesn't care about, simply out of lonliness and wanting to reconnect I guess.