You are here

What would you do?

Natskii's picture

Firstly let me give you a bit of a background bio, I've been with my partner for 3 years!
I have a 21yo son & 19yo daughter. Both my children live interstate due to work commitments.

My partners has a 12yo daughter & 14yo son. In 2 weeks is his daughters confirmation. His children used to come stay with us every second weekend & over the Christmas holidays from Boxing Day till Australia Day.
I have had a hard time with them as their mother despises me. She wants to be with her husband however he left her and met me 2 weeks later. We've been solid since the day we met.

Back to the confirmation, his daughter sent me a Snapchat telling me I am not her family and she doesn't want me there! His son sent me the same thing with a

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Don't go. It's not worth the fight. Let dad maybe talk to them about how their actions hurt his wife and if they continue they will have to face the repercussions. Don't be mean but no gifts from you, no help, no special trips.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Her father needs to put a boot up her ass, and quick.

But, since she's not considered family, that means you're not obligated to do a damn thing for her. Her loss.

yolo222's picture

He left her and was with you two weeks later. I can see why she doesn't like u. Almost some overlap there. Wow that is really quick to move on when u have kids. I would imagine she and the kids see you as a home wrecker. Idk

Natskii's picture

Somethingwixked I did show him and he drove straight over there and hasn't seen them since!

I stated everything you mentioned lol I refuse to assist with them in any way! He supports and defends me 100% no whimp at all!

He refuses to go without me. He feels if I don't go his ex wife is winning! I kinda agree. Maybe I should show the daughter I mean business. When he went to her communion I wasn't allowed to go and he came home and broke down in my arms from the ridicule he felt. I will support him this time. Thanks for your replies ladies xx
Their marriage was over long before he met me & he hung around waiting for the kids to be a little older. Big mistake. I agree with the guilts, he feels as though he's ruined their lives. With no help from the ex stating so over and over!

I really need her to meet another man..

Rags's picture

The kids don't matter in this scenario. Being with your SO is what matters. Go, be on his arm, look radiant, and don't let either the BM or the Spawn crush your bliss.

Good luck.

Loxy's picture

I wouldn't go to the confirmation as it's just going to make you feel very uncomfortable and out of place and why should you have to feel that way for two nasty kids? However, the bigger picture, and how your partner handles it, is the more pressing issue.

Your SK are being brain washed by their mother, and as a result, are being rude and disrespectful to you. It's up to your finance to try and sort that situation out. Firstly, he needs to speak to the BM and call her out on her behaviour. Will she stop - mostly likely not but that shouldn't stop him from trying.

Then he needs to sit down with his kids and spell it out for them - you are an equally important person in his life and that means he expects them to be respectful to you and make an effort.

One of the biggest issues on this site is partners who won't stand up to their bio kids so I sincerely hope yours is different!

notasm3's picture

I would not go to the confirmation which is kind of a moot point as you were not invited. Your DH can make up his own mind what to do.

Going forth the children are just "his children". They are nothing to you.