TryingToBeSupermom's picture

OT - Question about filing a Motion for Contempt due to non payment of Child Support

My exH, the father of my twins 12 stb13, has not paid a dime since January 3, 2017. Prior to that he barely paid a total of 1 month in a six month span. He is also not providing court ordered health insurance for the children. I cover them because I'm the one who gets the fine at the end of the year if they aren't covered, soooo. As of this coming Monday he will be $12,300 in arrears. I have also not received any tax money for back support in 3 years; not sure how he pulls that off, but I digress.

I have contacted an attorney who thinks I have a strong case, however Child Support just sent a request to the state he lives in to help collect.

My question is: Have any of you filed for a Motion of Contempt? How did it go? Was there a positive resolution?

I don't necessarily want him to go to jail, but his lack of supporting and/or caring is getting frustrating.

zerostepdrama's picture

If you file you are chancing

If you file you are chancing that he will go to jail. Not saying that he doesn't deserve it...

My Ex owes over 20k. He has no attention of paying it. He hasn't filed taxes in probably 7 years. He tells me every year he is going to file taxes, never does. He'll tell me he is on his way to the CS office to make a payment and a payment never comes. Not sure if he thinks I am that stupid or if he really believes his lies.

Winter 2016 I emailed the CS office and pushed for some answers to what was going on. There response was they would pursue him and take it to court. I knew if they did and there was a court date, that it would be very likely that he would end up in jail.

So I asked them to not pursue it.

As much as it pisses me off that he doesn't take care of his financially responsibility and he purposes screws me around about it, it would hurt BS more if his dad went to jail. It would also hurt Ex in that he would most likely lose what little he currently has.

Thankfully I can provide for BS without CS. If I was struggling I would probably be singing a different tune. But since I live without CS I figure I can take the high road for the sake of my BS.

So just something to consider.

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

My boys don't see their dad,

My boys don't see their dad, EVER. The judge didn't give him any visitation rights, not by my doing, but because he had not shown any interest in the children for almost 3 years leading up to that court date. He never calls or sees them. They honestly would not even know that he was in jail. I just don't want him to go to jail because then I know I don't have even the slightest chance of seeing any money.

I can provide for the boys without it, but it makes me angry seeing and hearing (from his family) how he and his 3rd wife are dragging my name through the mud, and making me look like the bad guy. He was actually just arrested on a domestic dispute, violation of PPO last early last month. This is his 3rd wife, and 4th DV arrest. He also has a child with his second wife.

Getting CS is nice so that we (DH and I) can actually do more with the kids than we can now. We support them and give them everything they need, but really have to save for the "fun" stuff.

Thank you for your response. I need to look at all avenues, which I why I asked for advice.

zerostepdrama's picture

Well given what you said... I

Well given what you said... I wouldn't have a problem with him going to jail.

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

I personally don't care if he

I personally don't care if he fell off a cliff. He does have another child that he actually sees because she is local. I wouldn't want to take her dad away because he isn't being a dad to mine.

moving_on's picture

I didn't have to do anything,

I didn't have to do anything, child support enforcement did it all. Ex just bailed out on Friday. He's $46K behind.

They filed the charge on him, he was arrested, he bailed out on a signature bond. At his next court date, the Judge ordered a UA (drug test) ex refused, they put him back in jail. He was assigned a public defender but then hired an attorney on his own and she filed for a 10% bond reduction which the Judge granted. It cost him $2000 to bond out.

So he has money for a lawyer and bond but he can't pay child support? Funny how that works.

DS had no contact with his dad until right before all this started. I don't feel the least bit bad for him. He had the money, he just didn't want to support his child.

—

When a healthy person behaves in a way that hurts others, they take responsibility for that action and make amends. - Kelly Berdine

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

WOW! I've contacted child

WOW! I've contacted child support here (I'm in FL) a gazillion times asking what can be done about his non compliance. I always get the same dang response; you will have to hire and attorney and take him to court, blah blah blah. When I contacted them again last week, I explained that I had already spoken to an attorney and that I needed to get all the facts of my case in order, in case I needed that information for court. All of a sudden, 2 business days later, Child Support is supposedly going after him. I don't understand it! I've had the same conversation with them for the past 4 years, with the same answer and zero results. I'm sitting on my hands this time to see if they actually do something. It would be nice seeing as I wouldn't have spend a ton of money on an attorney.

moving_on's picture

Wow. I am in MO and they have

Wow. I am in MO and they have their stuff together. They have an attorney that handles JUST child support cases for a couple of small counties here. She is good, too. Which, really, you wouldn't even have to be that good. What's the defense for not paying? There isn't a good one. If you really are destitute, you should file for a reduction. My DD's father tried that from prison and child support enforcement told him that it was HIS CHOICES that landed him in jail and child support kept racking up the entire time. He owes $35K. It actually ended up going up $10/month. Which, I laughed because in the interview he lied and said he has an associate's degree. He didn't even graduate HS and if he got his GED, he did it in prison.

—

When a healthy person behaves in a way that hurts others, they take responsibility for that action and make amends. - Kelly Berdine

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

I know my case is tad more

I know my case is tad more difficult because he lives in MI and I'm in FL. He chose to move back up there after we separated. I stayed put. I'm hoping that once MI gets involved, they will be able to handle the compliance and/or court side of things.

babybugged's picture

I don't understand why you

I don't understand why you care if he goes to jail. He is NOT going to pay you -- he has shown you that. If they send him to jail, he might hate it enough to say, "Golly Gee, I should pay child support so I don't have to come back here."

That being said, my dh did not even go after child support for the skids because it just wasn't worth the drama. We can afford to support the children and I don't mind contributing to their support. They are (usually) good kids. If that wasn't the case, I would force his hand and make him file for child support.

—

Babybugged

moving_on's picture

You'd think. My ex was

You'd think. My ex was sentenced to jail once before for 4 years. Was only in about 7 months. He probably made an attempt and sent about $500 total after that, then nothing for a year. Apparently he likes jail.

His GF had the balls to send me a Facebook message that said he would do anything for my son and blah, blah, blah. I wasn't very nice and told her if he would do anything, then why doesn't he just pay child support!

—

When a healthy person behaves in a way that hurts others, they take responsibility for that action and make amends. - Kelly Berdine

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

Even though he's a POS, he

Even though he's a POS, he does have another child that he shares 50/50 custody with from the most recent ex-wife. His new wife also has 3 children of her own from a previous marriage that he is involved with. It's irritating to me because he's involved in those others kids' lives, but not his first born. Maybe because we live 1500 miles apart, which was his doing, not mine. He should be in jail for not following court orders, but I don't want to put another child's dad in jail. I know one of my boys is extremely upset that his dad wants nothing to do with him, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody's kid(s). He has also been in and out of jail many time over the past 13 years that I've known him. Jail honestly doesn't phase him.

moving_on's picture

Ya, I have zero guilt because

Ya, I have zero guilt because my ex has nothing to do with his other kid, either.

But ya, he doesn't want to go to jail but he also doesn't want to do what he needs to to stay out.

—

When a healthy person behaves in a way that hurts others, they take responsibility for that action and make amends. - Kelly Berdine

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

Exactly! He acts like he's

Exactly! He acts like he's FOTY, but in all truth is a terrible parent. His mom and I don't really see eye to eye, but she gets visitation with the boys throughout the year (LONG STORY), and she came right out and told me that he's screwing up big time and the family (his family) has written him off after the most recent arrest.

moving_on's picture

Same in my situation except I

Same in my situation except I do get along with his mom. His mom sees DD a couple times a year. I wish it was more often but she's a pretty socially active lady so it's usually just around holidays.

—

When a healthy person behaves in a way that hurts others, they take responsibility for that action and make amends. - Kelly Berdine

imaSmom's picture

Oh I filed for it. He was so

Oh I filed for it. He was so behind he was looking at jail time too but I suppose when you have a new baby to support it's better to not chance it. Somehow he managed to get on a payment plan and begin to pay his arrears.

—

The freedom, the strength, the will to do as I damn well please.

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

That's really the only reason

That's really the only reason I would file, to scare him into paying, or at least attempting to. With my boys about to be 13, they are ready for braces, which is one thing I cannot afford on own for two at the same time!

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

When I lived in Alabama I

When I lived in Alabama I went through DHR for child support after he got so far behind. My CO said that he was to pay me $50 a week in person. Yeah THAT didn't work out. We had a receipt book that we both signed when he sometimes gave me money.

I took the receipt book with me to DHR..they didn't care at all. They gave me a calendar and told me to make down the weeks he gave me $ and how much. I could have really screwed him over because they didn't check that I was being honest or not. He ended up being over $7000 behind.

They recalculated the CS and he ended up paying WAY more and they tacked on an additional $25 a month. They put a alert on his social security number. He could not take out loans, get anything in his name and his taxes were garnished till it was paid off. It took him over 5 years to pay it off.

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

That's how mine is supposed

That's how mine is supposed to be working. When he does have a job, usually temp jobs, his wages are garnished. I'm assuming he either hasn't been filing taxes or claims such a high number that he ends up owing the IRS every year, which is why I'm not getting his taxes for back support. His arrears are on his credit report and he is not allowed to get a passport.

HRNYC's picture

Not familiar with Florida,

Not familiar with Florida, but where I live, plenty of warnings to the payor once you file.

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

The last time he received any

The last time he received any warnings was about 6 years ago when he hit $10,000 behind. He called me and starting yelling at me, and telling me how much of a POS I am. I hung up on him. He did get a job then, remarried, had another child, and the payments were coming in regularly for about 3 years. Then, his wife wised up and realized the emotional and physical abuse wouldn't end, so she left him. That's when the payments started to come sporadically. I'm just not really sure if filing, and spending the money to file, is the right choice.

HRNYC's picture

Is your order from a Florida

Is your order from a Florida court? Cant you just contact Fl Child support services?

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

Yes, and that's who I've been

Yes, and that's who I've been in contact with. They are RUDE to put it nicely.

HRNYC's picture

Civil service. Do not give

Civil service. Do not give up.

HRNYC's picture

Civil service. Do not give

Civil service. Do not give up.

mustang2008's picture

Dads that have no visitation

Dads that have no visitation and no relationship, usually do not support the kids.

Cause and effect

I hope that the relationship get's improved in the future.

HRNYC's picture

Correlation =/= causation.

Correlation =/= causation.

hereiam's picture

You can file for contempt and

You can file for contempt and get the judgement, doesn't mean he will pay. It really depends on the incentive for him to pay. Some men don't care what happens or they know that nothing WILL happen.

HRNYC's picture

That is why she has to keep

That is why she has to keep pushing the state. They can add incentives.

TryingToBeSupermom's picture

Thank you to everyone who

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice. I generally do not get on here during the weekends.