step.life's picture

Clothing too small for SD

I've posted here before about taking kids shopping with you or not and got some good feedback. Now I have another issue. I've talked to SD about proper fit for clothing and how the right size looks cute. For whatever reason she wants everything to fit tight and small. She looks ridiculous. She is STB10 years old just finished 3rd grade and she is tall but can fit in slim sizes.

She rolls up all her shorts and doesn't wear shirts long enough because she thinks they're too baggy. Just recently GBM took her shopping and she came over in  jean jacket clearly too small and it was a XS size 5! Like for a 5 year old. The arm's are super short and it can't button, she can't move very well. But she thinks it looks soooo good.

I don't thnk there's anything else we can do to help her at this point. Just have to let her look like a kid who can't afford clothes that fit.

twoviewpoints's picture

And then she'll have GMa on

And then she'll have GMa on her *ss. Tossing something that was purchased for the child is not a good idea. Just send it back to GMa.

OP, the best you can do is try and show the child how much better a proper fitting outfit looks over an ill-fitting one. You can also limit when she can and can't wear certain clothing. Going to school, out with you/Dad would all be 'no, I'm sorry, I know you like that jacket, but it's off bounds except for at home'.

I imagine SD is going for the crop jean jacket look. But how SD is achieving the look is all wrong. Google crop jean jacket and see what I mean. Now if that is a look Dad and you approve of, help the kid properly find one in the correct size.

SD is going to want to wear clothing similar to what clothing she sees the other girls at school and out and about wearing. that is normal. Skinny jeans make a skinny person look as if kid is busting out of them. A heavier child, would look a nightmare walking.

It's all really why you'd do better having kid go and try things on. There's no surprise when you get the clothing home. Shorts will get her in trouble at school if here school has a 'shorts must come to ________' dress rule. Dad can have a rule at home that says 'no kid of mine is wearing daisy dukes and eating out of me'. But as long as her ass isn't hanging out and totally inappropriate , does it hurt to have shorts a wee bit too short for school be worn at home?

My DD does have some shorts she is not able to wear to school, but her rump isn't hanging out and she does wear them at home. If she bends over and something hangs out, out they go.

Keep working with her. Select clothing she likes that both fit the way the piece is designed to fit and (most important) passes the Dad test. She will need to occasionally wear something she hates because she's a kid and if she's getting out the door for dinner or the grocery with Dad/you she either wears the piece approved or she stays home. I don't want to see butts nor boobs while I eat and shop. Nor do I want to take a kid who is dresses like a 50 yr old woman.

Find your happy middle.

step.life's picture

Agreed. I guess I meant if BM

Agreed. I guess I meant if BM is going to allow the clothing half the time, there's nothing we can do. We've talked to SD about it and she's obviously still picking bad fitting clothes. On our weeks we do the shopping and pick proper fitted clothing.

Acratopotes's picture

I would say - ignore it, not

I would say - ignore it, not your kid and not your problem... DH should talk to her about it and in your house you can have a dress code..... if she's not dressed like her age, she can't go out in public with you..

that's how I handled it.....

Blended family life turned me into a pirate....
All I want to do is drink Rum and stab people

downsouthinTX's picture

ask her WHY she thinks these

ask her WHY she thinks these things look good.
ask her if this is what her class mates wears
ask here where she got these fashion ideas from.

ask her to show you pictures of people she knows wheres looks like that-then when she shows you older young adult women you can say-they are not 9 and they are wearing the size for them but the clothing is MADE to be like that. so they arent in pain or have limited movement by wearing that.
add in that since they are grown they dont have to follow their parents rules anymore but when they were 9 you doubt they dressed the same as when they are 20.

ETA: saw thing on FB today-a sign of sorts
it said "touch your toes and raise your arms, if anything shows go change your clothes."

step.life's picture

Good idea. Maybe we can have

Good idea. Maybe we can have her look up stuff online and teach her why or why not its approprite for her age or body type.

downsouthinTX's picture

OR maybe you and DH should

OR maybe you and DH should try to dress in stuff thats too small on a weekend day.
see what she says...ask if she thinks the outfit looks good on you guys and stuff
then say "well you do it?!"

BethAnne's picture

You could try taking pictures

You could try taking pictures of her in identical outfits but one in the size she wants to wear and the other in the correct size and comparing them.

Other than that it is just a case of not buying her the small clothes and banning them from being worn outside of the house. She may make a fuss at the start but will get used to it eventually.

step.life's picture

This is where I feel like

This is where I feel like it's headed. Both DH and I have had conversations about it, but obviously it's not sinking in, or she just doesn't care because BM will let her.

FieryEscape's picture

Do we have the same SD? It

Do we have the same SD? It has been a fight in my house because I REFUSE to go out in public with stbSD9 when she is wearing pants / shirts 6 sizes to small. SD is tall and bulky/thick for her age ( not fat ). She wears a kids size 16. She would wear too small leggings and shirts and her tummy would be hanging out...not to mention the camel toe - which NO CHILD should ever have. So mortifying !

I had to "nag" SO all the time about going through and getting rid of all the too small, stained and holey clothes. He finally did and SD of course threw a fit ( she has size 6x shorts still ) . Too bad ! She is the kid and does not get to dictate her absurd demands. Haha he then had to take her shopping and got her appropriate clothing that fits which of course was a nightmare because she doesn't want to try things on.

The other issue is SO is the CP and SD wears new clothing that fits and then comes home from BMs in too small /too big old ratty clothes....but that is a different fight.

Let your DH deal with GBM, he needs to be the one to send the small clothes back.

step.life's picture

Yes she always wants to wear

Yes she always wants to wear the too small leggings as pants with a small shirt. We've told her leggings go "under" other clothing. Skirts, dresses or long tunic style shirts. But always wants to wear leggings as pants. It doesn't look good on anyone!

secret's picture

I dunno - they're kinda cute

I dunno - they're kinda cute on a diapered baby waddling around Sticking out tongue

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I stoped taking the kids

I stoped taking the kids shopping with me. I I'm not arguing any more with a 7 and 4 year old. Me and their dad buy what we buy and they wear it. It's not like we don't get stuff they like.

BM buys outfits that only work one way. I'm more of a let's buy stuff that you can mix and match.

Some days are hard but you just fight through them to get to the good ones.

Cover1W's picture

Just had this convo with DH

Just had this convo with DH last night.

SDs need some new summer clothing...SD13 has definitely outgrown everything (and she knows it and won't wear things too small). SD11 said "everything fits" but the issue is everything she has is those darn leggings and those shorts that are like short leggings (a few jean short which she rarely wears and may/may not fit) and t-shirts; all stretchy so of course they 'fit.'

I agree to take SDs clothes shopping about 1 time per year, maybe two if I'm feeling generous, so long as DH gives me his card for the costs. I offer and don't mind (I won't buy anything any other time or with my own $).

Told DH that SD11 is wearing clothing a little too tight - she's starting puberty and it's getting a little noticeable (not a lot - but enough). That I'll take her to get some appropriate summer clothes. He's like, YES I've noticed too. So he'll likely have to have the same chat with her he had with SD13 when she "grew out of" the leggings with short shirt phase. Leggings only appropriate with tunic length or skirts - or at home. She can transition to the more appropriately proportioned jeggings.

I have been known to "disappear" certain clothing items and this may be the summer it happens again.

****Just remember to breathe and have a glass of champagne every so often****