Decided NOT to rip BM's head off This weekend.

So Friday, SS had a friend come home from school with him. Around 3:00 they walked down to the barber shop where my nephew works to get their hair cut. They were still there when I got off work (that place is ALWAYS packed), so DH and I went to the little sports bar/restaurant across the street to have a drink while we waited for them to be done. They come across the street when they are done and we have some dinner, drop his friend off at his house, and go to DH's softball game, got home around 930 pm.

When we got home I went to let the dogs inside. Walking past SS's room I noticed an Easter basket sitting on the floor. So I walked over to see what it was. It was from BM. My blood BOILED. Not because she got him an Easter basket, I don't give a rat's ass about that. But that she was AT MY HOUSE WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. And... he didn't mention anything about her being here for the past 3 hours that we were out and about?? I let the dogs in and tried to calm down before I asked SS about it.

Me-SS, how did you get an Easter basket from your mom?
SS-Oh- Yeah... she left it on the front porch.
Me-So- you didn't see her?
SS-No, she must have left it while I was at school. I didn't even see it when grandma brought me home, I walked right past it. She called and asked if I got it, I had no idea what she was talking about.
Me-Ok. Well, I don't care for her being here without letting someone know first.
SS- Neither do I, I'm glad she didn't knock.

Underneath that calm conversation I was PISSED. I do NOT TRUST BM AT ALL. I don't want her anywhere near my home. I don't trust her friends, I don't trust her "boyfriend". I don't want her at my house. I was also PMSing REALLY bad. So I had to recognize that. DH was mad, but I was clearly more bothered by this.

I asked him to text her and tell her not to stop by here unannounced. Never, not for ANYTHING. He didn't.

I seethed over it for a little while.

Then I read SS's phone. The texts reflect exactly what he said happened. She made no mention of coming by before that. A short 2 minute phone call at 2:30. And then she called and text him multiple times through out the day. He never answered again, he never replied to her texts. In fact, he still hasn't. She text him a few times yesterday to wish him a Happy Easter, he ignored her.

I suppose I am going to let this one slide and not hound DH to about telling her to never do that again without letting us know. At least if I know, I can watch her stupid ass on the camera and make sure she isn't being an idiot. She knows not to ring the bell, it goes to my phone.

If it happens again, THEN I will demand DH handle it.

BSgoinon's blog
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Yeah.... it is super

Yeah.... it is super irritating. I just don't know if her dropping off a gift on the front porch when she knew no one would be home (my mom was actually probably there) is a hill I want to die on. She's nutty, and telling her NOT to do that would probably only encourage her to do it more often and make it worse.

I feel bad that SS didn't even wish her a Happy Easter. I am not even sure that he thanked her for the basket unless he did during the 2 minute phone conversation. It was unopened with I found it.

She is an idiot and made her own bed, but I don't THINK she meant any harm, this time.

I don't disagree with you at

I don't disagree with you at all. I REALLY wanted to start a war over this. I don't want her anywhere near my home. She doesn't live in our town and doesn't own a car so it's not like it will happen on the regular anyway.

We have had SS full time for almost 2 years now. BM is only allowed to see SS with her dad present, and at SS's desire. At least until she completes rehab, which she isn't even in. SS has told her himself in the past that she can't just stop by and he won't open the door if she knocks. She knows he won't respond to her attempts. I think thats why she just quietly dropped it off without telling anyone. Whatever. I have a camera if she tries to do anything stupid, I will take the video to the police.

Ugh, I hate that these kids

Ugh, I hate that these kids even have to deal with DECIDING how to respond to their "parent". That's just not something any kid should have to do. It sucks. Go away and stay away, or get your shit together for good.

Yeah, it was pretty random

Yeah, it was pretty random stuff in the Easter basket. Spongebob candy, a horseshoe, a tee ball (assuming she was trying to get him a baseball and doesn't know that there is a difference) and a pocket knife. Just goes to show that she doesn't know SS at all anymore. His favorite candy is Butterfingers, he would LOVE a base ball... and he stopped collecting knives because he is out of space to store them for now. And the horse shoe....??? I guess because she lives on a ranch maybe it is supposed to remind him of her? He hadn't even opened the card or anything in the basket as of this morning.

I had to go back and recheck

I had to go back and recheck it was you BSgoinOn. From living in her car and never calling to sneaking Easter baskets...wow...I did NOT see this coming. A good bit of me thinks you should intercept those gifts because those are just her way to wiggle herself back into his heart only to let him down all over again, and he's a good kid so he'll keep forgiving her time and time again. The other part of me knows if you intercept the gifts she drops by, she'll just use that as proof for SS that y'all are keeping her from him. Your hands are tied. What can you do? I think you handled it well by simply asking him straightforward questions then telling him you were uncomfortable with BM just dropping by. I would have cameras installed, maybe even have some kind of intruder alert or neighborhood watch to notify the cops if she comes to your house again when no on is home or SS is home alone. I think trespassing arrest would scare her away in the future. Be ready, I have a feeling more of these gifts will be popping up.

Yeah, she's really something

Yeah, she's really something else. I have no idea if she is actually clean. I do know that she is still working at the little corner store in her town. Part Time. SS has actually built himself a very tall, very airtight wall around his heart when it comes to her. He doesn't let her in. IF he answers when she calls, it is a 2 minute conversation at most. Usually 30 seconds or less. He responds to her text maybe once every few weeks and they are one word answers. He does not want her in.

We do have camera's I just don't know to check them if I don't know she is coming. I logged on this morning and she came by around 1 on Friday, set it on the porch and walked away. I didn't recognize whoever drove her. Not a familiar car or face. If she had rang the door bell I could have told her to get off my property right then. But she knows we have that so she won't ring. She may try knocking, but she didn't Friday. Probably best that she didn't ring, I was in a really foul mood on Friday. I would have ripped her a new one. I don't think that would have helped anything.

I don't think I want to intercept anything. If all she is to him is some candy on holidays, that is fine with me. He didn't waiver in his desire to see her. He stopped responding to her all on his own. He told me around his birthday last year that the only reason she tells him she has gifts for him is so she can see him, and he doesn't want to see her. She can't buy her way in. It would take A LOT more than Spongebob Candy to break him at this point.