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DH finally takes a stand

MadHatter's picture

I'm so proud of DH for developing a backbone! Around Thanksgiving last year, SD's fiance got a puppy. Cute little dog, but SD lives in an apartment that doesn't allow pets without an enormous increase in rent and a pet deposit. Of course, SD didn't mention the new addition to her household in order to avoid the extra expense. Now, let's remember that her step-father is the one who co-signed the lease (because SF wanted her belligerent mouth out of his house and DH refused saying that she was too irresponsible to live alone but wound up paying the majority of the rent).

Shortly after said puppy came to live at the apartment, one of SD's friends who lives in the same complex got hit with a $700 bill for damages caused to the carpet (stains and odor) by her dog when she moved. DH made a point to tell SD and her BF to get the puppy out of the apartment because he would not be paying for any damages on their behalf. SD and the BF agreed with DH (just to shut him up) and said that the dog would live with the BF at his granny's house.

Fast forward to today. DH gets a call from SD today. "I need you to come to my apartment and install some carpet." DH's response, "Why would I do that? You're supposed to be moved out by Monday." Turns out the dog contributed many stains to the carpeting and even chewed up an area. SD got the idea that it would be cheaper to remove and replace the csrpet than pay the damage fee. So, while she was at home this afternoon, she ripped out the carpet and expected her father to show up on a moment's notice, purchase new carpet, and install it for her. (DH is very handy, but he isn't a carpet installer and doesn't have the necessary equipment.)

DH was so mad that they had lied to him about taking the dog off the property that he refused to help and told her, and the BF, that replacing the carpet or paying the fee was their problem and that maybe they would learn something by having to reap the consequences of their mistake. DH got cussed out by SD but only listened to it for a little while before he hung up the phone and refused to answer when she called repeatedly.

I just had to share because he almost always accommodates her every whim, but because they lied to him when he gave them good advice and warned them in advance what would happen, he stood firm.

MadHatter's picture

LOL! It really is a bit of a horror story isn't it? I owned a rental property for several years and was very lucky to have had wonderful tenants, but even then, there were always repairs and renovations that had to be made after they moved on, but never did I have to replace carpet because it had been removed by the previous tenant.

MadHatter's picture

I'm certain that you are dead right. I'll keep you posted on the outcome. I'm sure this isn't over, but she has quit blowing up our phone for now.

MadHatter's picture

I'm certain that you are dead right. I'll keep you posted on the outcome. I'm sure this isn't over, but she has quit blowing up our phone for now.

notsobad's picture

It will probably be more than the $700 her friend paid.

There is a difference between leaving a dirty carpet and willful destruction, which is what this is.
There are limits to what you can fine for regular wear and tear, those limits are higher when there is what they consider irreplaceable damage.

The other thing is that they'll go after a larger amount because this isn't just two young working kids. SF co-signed and the owners or board will go after him and his money!

MadHatter's picture

Probably so, notsobad. I agree that cleaning the carpet the best she could and then letting the complex decide on the damages would've been the smart way to go, but nobody is ever going to accuse this girl of being smart. LOL

hereiam's picture

Your SD is quite the idiot, isn't she? Ripping out carpet in a rented apartment, hoping Daddy would replace it for her?

And it's sad that the enabling has gotten to the point that him saying, "No", is something to be congratulated for, when really, it's a no-brainer (or should be). Why would he want to get involved in this? She will be lucky to not get sued.

My SD lives in an apartment and has a dog. She has been told to take the dog out back but she is too lazy so takes it out front. Management has warned her about the dog poop (that she does not pick up) and threatened to evict her. DH told her long ago that the dog should be at her mother's, not in an apartment (it's not a small dog).

So, she took the dog to her mother's but then missed him so brought him back to her apartment. DH told her last night that she needed to take him back to BM's and leave him there so she does not get evicted. She's on section 8, so will have to move in with BM if she gets booted. Of course, BM would love that so that she could benefit from SD's "free" money from our taxes.

She will definitely not move in with us and knows better than to ask, especially since DH told her to get rid of that dog a long time ago.

I'm glad your husband stood firm. I just can't believe that your SD even thought this was a good plan and thought that your DH would do it.

I am anxiously awaiting the update!

MadHatter's picture

Oh, hereiam, I was beginning to think that the word "No" wasn't in his vocabulary at all unless it was where I am concerned. I think if he hadn't been so mad that they lied to him and told him that the dog had been relocated he probably would have been headed to the carpet supply store, but he is pretty adamant that he won't be lied to.

notsobad's picture

This is going to blow up bigger than this.

You said that SF co-signed. That means he is going to be responsible for the damage.

I haven't read enough of your postings to know what the relationship there is but I'm guessing it won't be good.

MadHatter's picture

I'm pretty sure that the SF isn't aware of any of this. DH told him, the SF, that he wasn't on board with the whole apartment thing because she was too irresponsible to be living by herself. She should've stayed in the dorms that were paid for by her memorial scholarship and saved all that money that she spent and allowed dear old daddy to save some money too, but she didn't like the dorms. When SF was faced with the choice of her moving back in with him and bio-mom because they lived within 20 minutes of the college campus or signing for her an apartment he chose the option that would keep her out of his hair. Well, looks like it's going to get in his pocket.

P.S. Let me add that she failed 6 out of 9 classes since she began her college education 2 years ago and that she hasn't been enrolled in the college for the last 2 semesters.

MadHatter's picture

Oh, Anonymama, she HAS lived with us. She is destructive when her temper flares, and that can be set off by something as insignificant as her changing her mind about which fast food restaurant to eat at. While she was living with us, she broke windows, busted doors and sheetrock, broke dishes, and other household appliances. She's a nightmare. I understand why SF didn't want her back with him and bio-mom, but I wouldn't have put MY credit on the line for her. She could've stayed in the dorm and maybe passed a class or 2.

MadHatter's picture

Well, I suppose that's more than just a possibility. SD has a job and she's been saving money to go to toward expenses for the blessed wedding and honeymoon of her dreams. I think that SD should have to dip into her own pocket, but we'll see how all this turns out. I'll let you all know.

still learning's picture

Omigod your SD is brilliant. Instead of having it professionally cleaned for a couple hundred bucks she goes straight for tearing out the carpet and likely spending thousands!!! Did Einstein also remember to tear up the carpet pad that will also be stained and hold several odors?

I've lived in apts w/kids and cats and the first thing I do is put down as many area rugs, runners and pieces of scrap carpet on top of the original carpet. Kids, pets and cheap neutral light colored apartment carpet just do not mix.

Oh the lessons your SD will learn if everyone just lets her adult and deal w/this herself. Good for your DH for not bailing her out. Lets hope he continues to stand back and let her clean up her own mess. SF thought he could get out of this easily by cosigning her lease. Oh how funny.

MadHatter's picture

A quickie update. I don't have a lot of details because SD has blocked dear old dad from her phone, but the BF called for some instructions on behalf of the SF who is there attempting to install carpet. I heard DH tell him something about renting a carpet stretcher if they could get one on a Sunday. I'll bet he's just thrilled to death. No word yet on who paid for the carpet or if the complex is going to let it pass or not.

Oh, and the dog has gone to live with bio-mom and SF. Seems that SD doesn't want the dog in her new place. LOL

hereiam's picture

She blocked him, that is too funny. He should return the gesture.

Did SF co-sign for the new place?

MadHatter's picture

I agree. If he would block her, it might be an eye opener that, contrary to her current conviction, she is NOT the center of the universe.

SF is off the hook on the new place. She got it on her own.

still learning's picture

Special snowflake will not get to learn an adult lesson, what a shame. Oh well, SF's problem now. Poor chump.

MadHatter's picture

Well, she's unblocked DH long enough to call and say, "The carpet is in. No thanks to you. I need you to give me $200 so I can put the money I had to spend back in my account." DH said, "I'm glad you got that taken care of, but I'm not giving you money for that. You can use the money you get back for the security deposit to replace what you spent if you get any of it back." Then the SHTF.

"What do you mean, IF I get it back? They HAVE to give it back!" DH tried to tell her that they still may not accept her replacement job, and that if they didn't, it was all on her. That set her off, and another cuss fit ensued. He's a worthless father that's never done anything for her. He doesn't love her. He needs to stay away from her. Here's my favorite, "You just keep putting money in my account every week, and dont ever speak to me again!" (lol...this isn't the first time he's heard any of this.)

To be continued after the complex does their inspection tomorrow.

sandye21's picture

"You just keep putting money in my account every week, and dont ever speak to me again!" it will be interesting to see what your DH's reaction is to that statement. It appears he really HAS seen the light but what she said might have made him see more of what she is really like. She needs a reality check - bad.

hereiam's picture

"You just keep putting money in my account every week, and dont ever speak to me again!"

Perfect time to let her learn another lesson, which is that you don't speak to the person who is giving you money every week.

Why is he giving her money every week?

MadHatter's picture

Officially, he gives her money every week because he agreed to pay child support until she graduated from college. However, she hasn't been enrolled in classes for the last 9 months. In reality, he gives her money because he feels guilty because he didn't live with her and never loved her mother.

He gives it to her weekly because of he gives it to her monthly, she will blow it and be back asking for more and more.

hereiam's picture

Since she hasn't even been enrolled for the last nine months AND since she is living with her boyfriend and playing grown up, he really should stop giving her money. Not to mention, she's a foul mouthed, spoiled little brat, who has no respect for her father.

Guilt, most of the time, is a useless emotion. Nothing can make up for the circumstances of her coming into the world. If his love is not enough, money won't make a difference. She will continue to milk him as long as he lets her.

He needs to let go of the guilt, he's not doing anybody any favors.

notsobad's picture

Is going to do it?!?
Put money in her account?

There is something seriously wrong with him if he does.

still learning's picture

Dh should take her suggestion to stay away from her and also close his wallet to the entitled brat. No real loss to him and he'll be a lot richer.

"I hate you but keep the money coming!" Is this the mantra of all PAS'd COD's? What a horrible monster her parents have created. I hope reality gives her a swift kick in the arse.

MadHatter's picture

I hate to sound like an idiot, but gosh...here I go. What is a PAS'd COD?

MadHatter's picture

Thank you so much for the translation. Smile Yes, she's definitely a piece of work. Oh, and as for the COD, she is actually a child of a 2 week fling. Just keeping it real. LOL

notsobad's picture

"You just keep putting money in my account every week, and dont ever speak to me again!"

I'm hoping that her boyfriend heard that and has enough brains to never get her pregnant!

momjeans's picture

I'm interested to hear how the inspection goes tomorrow.

She should consider herself extremely lucky if the apartment complex doesn't freak out about random people replacing carpet other than the complex maintenance or whoever they hire out to do repairs.

What a brat.

still learning's picture

A random person who has never installed carpet before and is not a contractor. Many private landlords will allow changes to be made to their rental units but they have to be approved beforehand and performed by a licensed professional. In an apt unit, I doubt this will fly.

I remember all the eyes watching when I lived in an apt complex. Tenants got ratted out all the time for the teeniest of things. Tearing out your carpet and putting it in the shared dumpster probably didn't go unnoticed.

Acratopotes's picture

oh wow...... kudos for DH for telling her NO on the carpet..... Now I'm holding thumbs he stops sending her weekly money...

MadHatter's picture

AND the drama began at EXACTLY 8:07 AM. The final verdict came in just 15 minutes ago. For the short answer of what happened, skip to the bottom of this post. For the sordid details, read on.

Hubby was finishing up his morning coffee and getting ready to leave for work when his phone rang. SD was hysterical. Screaming, crying, and hyperventilating so bad that DH couldn't understand what was going on. He was up on his feet with a deer in the headlights look in his eyes. He said later that he initially thought someone had died because she was such a wreck. After he finally gets her calmed down enough to understand her, he said that all he really got out of the call was that the apartment manager had found out about the dog and the carpet, was going to charge her "a million dollars" (SD's exaggeration, not mine) for a pet deposit and damages, and wanted to do her inspection right then instead of waiting for their 2:00 PM appointment. DH told SD to sit tight and got the number of the apartment manager and said that he would call her so he could get some details that he could understand.

Well, it turns out that a neighbor, that lives in the same building as SD, saw the carpet coming in and going out. This same neighbor is friendly with the apartment manager, and they saw each other Sunday night. The neighbor was curious if they were replacing the carpet in all of the units, or just that one, because of the dog. The manager admitted to being very confused because she had no idea that carpet was being replaced or that a dog had been in that unit. Because a dog had been in the unit without notifying the management, there would be an additional $300 pet deposit that would be owed, and she was anxious to evaluate any additional damage to the unit as soon as possible. She said that SD could either meet her at the apartment at 9:00 AM or she was entering the unit without her to do her inspection. DH really turned on the charm. You could practically hear him cooing to her, and he got so friendly with her, I wondered if he was about to ask her out with me sitting on the other end of the sofa! He got her to agree to call him before making any final decisions, and he assured her that SD would be at the apartment to take care of her mess no later than 9:15. (It was 10 til 9 at this point.) FOR THIS TO BE SD'S MESS TO TAKE CARE OF, HE SURE DID GET AWFULLY INVOLVED IN MY OPINION.

We both had to run out the door for work. So I wasn't there to witness the conversation that ensued between DH and SD, but he tells me that she was suddenly willing to bury the attitude that she's been sporting all weekend and go meet the lady like she was told. So, she met the manager at the apartment and she did her walk thru. The manager was satisfied with the quality of the carpet that they had installed, but wasn't happy with the installation job and had to contact her maintenance crew to come take a look at it before she would make a final decision about the damages due.

The maintenance guy showed up, as promised, and decided that the carpet hadn't been stretched properly. When the manager called DH back, she told him that she was going to waive the $300 pet deposit and that she wasn't going to charge any extra for the maintenance guy stretching the carpet, but that she would not be getting any of the security deposit back because of having a pet, and not disclosing it, and some other non-dog related damages. DH thought that was more than fair under the circumstances and thanked her for everything she'd done. SD apparently had a fit because the security deposit was gone, but she didn't ask DH for more money (at least, not yet).

And so the saga of the carpet has drawn to a close. I hope that SD learned something from this. It has cost her $200 for carpet and supplies and a $400 security deposit. DH didn't fold on the money part, but he did lend a hand by schmoozing the apartment manager. Most of all, I hope DH learned that he CAN say NO to the precious little darling!

SacrificialLamb's picture

SD screamed and yelled because the manipulative tactics she pulled before did not work like they used to. How to get someone's attention? Scream and yell like a whack job. And then DH rushed in to save the day for the helpless princess. Ugh.

"So I wasn't there to witness the conversation that ensued between DH and SD, but he tells me that she was suddenly willing to bury the attitude that she's been sporting all weekend and go meet the lady like she was told."

Of course she was. Daddy was solving her problem. I am glad that daddy didn't fold on the money part. Yet. I would be wary of him thinking that poor SD suffered enough and he needs to make it all better. And I bet he feels so good about himself right now for solving his DD's problem, when she really needed to learn how to navigate this on her own.

MadHatter's picture

Yes, screaming and yelling like a "whack job" (love the expression) is her specialty, and yes, dear old dad thinks he saved the day. I would've liked for it to drag out a day or two so she could have time to squirm a little, but such is my folly.

MadHatter's picture

I thought she got off easy too. I was surprised when she, the manager, didn't demand an additional $100 per month for every month that the dog was in the apartment in addition to the pet deposit. If it had been me, I would've wound up paying the maximum possible. I don't have that kind of luck.

MadHatter's picture

You know, I never kept my renter's security deposit when they moved out of my rental house, but apparently it's pretty common for apartments to keep the security deposit. I've heard of it happening a lot.

Acratopotes's picture

I've kept it before......

reasons for security deposit - if they do not give 30days notice, damaged to property, outstanding utility bills, etc.

my wonderful renters, never paid the utility bill in 6 months, damaged all the carpets, broke all the cupboard doors off and left over night without notice, and never cleaned the place,the security deposit was about 2% of final damages repaired and bills paid...
I was furious......

MadHatter's picture

I was so luck, Acratopotes. I had wonderful renters. Of course, I only had the rental property for about 6 years, and one renter stayed there for 3 of them. My ex got the house when we divorced. I got stuck with the one that we still had a mortgage on.