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Judgy Wudgy needs to shut up!

Superstepper's picture

DH comments about other people's kids all the time, how they need their hiney tanned, how they have no discipline or direction. Talks about them being lazy or not having manners. These particular kids are the children of my best friend and while they aren't perfect, one is 5 and the other is 8. I thought they were lovely.

But it ticked me off because his is almost old enough to buy cigarettes and yet cannot master the simplest thing without being told 10 times. I wanted to say "Um...I live with yours and trust me, you have ZERO room to talk!" I actually told him this and he immediately goes into a tailspin of denial and taking up for skids. So damn frustrating!

I wonder, is this a normal thing? To be totally blinded about your short-comings as a parent while judging everyone else's? Asking because I see it a lot with many parents and not just the one I am married to.

Superstepper's picture

That's almost exactly what I did and all it did was make him angry. I just can't stand the hypocrisy. I mean, if you're going to talk ugly about someone else's children who are less than half the age of your hopeless train wrecks, be prepared to get called out!

And also, he doesn't care for my BF that much, thinks she "fills my head with BS" so he feels it's OK to talk trash about her kids. Nope!

NeedAnSOS's picture

I'm obsessed with my daughter and am extremely protective of her, but when anyone asks about her, I'm usually talking about how she's terrorizing my life (she's 2). Am I terrible for this?

She's so sassy I would never stand for it if she wasn't mine. So yes, all parents are biased towards their own kids no matter what bad attributes they have, the good ones always are recognized first.

notsobad's picture

If most people are honest we are all like this.

I can say something bad about my kid, spouse, sister, mother, father, but you'd better not say a bad thing about them or I will tear you a new one. I think it's human nature.

Cover1W's picture

Yeah, DH does it all the time.
If we're at a cafe or somewhere w/out SDs, DH wants to sit as far away from any children as possible.
The last time, I thought the kids at the table next to us were fine, actually very well behaved.
I looked at him and said, 'But YOUR kids never bothered you did they?'

twoviewpoints's picture

I can relate to your DH on that one. Through the years and my various children, I've made arrangements to have 'free' time. Whether it was scheduling the kids an activity or shipping them off to grandma's or hiring a sitter. Had had enough of kids and wanted to run errands, have a quiet meal out and just enjoy a few hours without kids.

What did I actually get? A few hours of being annoyed by somebody else's kids.

notsobad's picture

It's not just being a bad parent. In my experience it's any fault. My friend calls it inward eyeballs. If you are complaining about someone else's faults chances are you have the same problem, sometimes worse.

My neice complains about how much her Mom drinks, she is constantly saying her Mom is an alcoholic.
Now my SIL drinks but it's my neice who has the real problem. No way you can tell her that, she simply can't see that she's 10000x worse than her Mom.