mamazen's picture

OT/ Travelling with a kid

SO and I are planning a trip back to his home... but the main issue is, that it's about 16 hours of driving to get to the ferry... followed by a 7 hour ferry ride... followed by another 7 hours of driving.

Flights are out of the question, financially.

It's been a long time since I've traveled with a young kid... I remember mine were pretty good... they were entertained by small toys, coloring, books, movies... we had no issues with a 6 hour road trip.

Suggestions wanted for:

a) keeping SS quiet/entertained
b) keeping my sanity

We do plan to bring a portable dvd player.

zerostepdrama's picture

This doesn't even sound like

This doesn't even sound like a trip I would take for myself. Let alone with a small kid. Are your kids coming along as well?

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

mamazen's picture

It's a trip I've taken

It's a trip I've taken before... not to the same end destination, I was about 3 hours away from where I'm going this time.

I've taken my kids before, it did go fine.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Why? I would not do this. Not

Why?

I would not do this. Not in a million years. Never.

mamazen's picture

what does it matter why?

what does it matter why?

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

hereiam's picture

This sounds horrid. And for a

This sounds horrid. And for a guy that you've been with for, what, 6 months?

Want to keep your sanity? Give him a kiss and say, "Bye, see ya when you get back."

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

^^^ a billion times this.

^^^ a billion times this.

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

You do realize that you are

You do realize that you are very important part of this odyssey - you are needed to drive, chip in for expenses, provide child care support and carnal release.

I would NOT go. My time is far too valuable to undertake such an arduous trek. Take what you make per hour and multiply that by all the hours you will be spending on traveling and seeing his family. I'll bet that number will exceed what it would cost to buy an airline ticket.

mamazen's picture

if you say so

if you say so

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Livingoutloud's picture

Is that the same SS that

Is that the same SS that can't behave and is still in diapers? Same BF you only dated for less than a year? 6 months or so? No way I'd go far away places in these circumstances. Heck no.

What's the rush? Mind you my DH proposed after less than 8 months of dating but we had no young kids at home. Just date him without taking two day trips with his little kid!

Why is it your concern that he can't afford to fly? It's for him to figure out. He can't afford to buy himself and a kid airfare? hm

I'd rather spend my vacation and money doing something else

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Hell, I'd pay for my own

Hell, I'd pay for my own ticket and say "See you there!"

downsouthinTX's picture

from SO home town its 12 hr

from SO home town its 12 hr drive-no stops/traffic.

his whole family is coming for SD17 graduation.
everyone is driving except his baby brother. he said "screw that i am flying, see yall later"
and he booked his ticket. LOL
but hes got no kids or spouses and makes good money.
he wasn't about to spend 12+hrs in a car he said.

sunshinex's picture

You're not paying towards

You're not paying towards this trip, are you? I wouldn't. You have been dating, what, 6 mnths or so? You shouldn't be pitching it to go see his family - that's a trip he takes you on when it's this early on.

zerostepdrama's picture

Agree 100% with your last

Agree 100% with your last sentence!

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

mamazen's picture

He's the one paying, yes.

He's the one paying, yes.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

downsouthinTX's picture

7 hours on a ferry? that

7 hours on a ferry? that doesn't sound like a ferry, sounds like a full blown ship excursion.
thats also more than 24 hours for a 1 way trip. you will have to stay the night somewhere along the way there and back.

i hope you guys are staying more than a week for a trip that long.

are your kids coming along? i hope so...because for that time, energy, funds to be forked over it seems like a place/trip that i would bring the kids. something to experience.

dont expect a 16 hr drive. expect 20. SS will need to get out and run.
as much as fast food play grounds are horrible...they are a life saver for kids on trips and your sanity. so i always searched for those. considering they werent a normal thing for us to go to made the kids like them even more on trips.
you will also need more bathroom breaks.
so add 4 hours just to the 16 hr trip alone...and add 2 hours to the 7 hr drive.

i have older kids and when i drove 1/2 way across america our trip added 2-3 hours each day with eating, bathroom and traffic.

if you couldn't go, decided not to go or something would your SO still go with SS?
that is the 1 question you need to ask yourself.
if he would not...then i would re-think the WHOLE trip.
you dont want to be the savior, the 'help', the "i can't do this without you" person.
you want to be merely an extension of the trip and fun but not a requirement. make sense?

its also good to know that SO can function, adult and parent without someone else.
for a parent to say -no biggy, i can do this just fine alone- means a lot.

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

All I can think is he must be

All I can think is he must be a-mazing in the sack. Dickmatized, much?

No freaking way. Some people have said this story line is fishy. I'm starting to think they're onto something.

downsouthinTX's picture

i've gone with SO to meet his

i've gone with SO to meet his family. he refused to even let me buy food along the way.
it was after we had been together for 18 mo and a week before i moved in.
he didnt even let me drive any!

monkeyseemonkeydo's picture

I know, me too...this

I know, me too...this finalizes that thought, no woman would be so stupid as to do something like this, sorry, nope.

—

*Cyber Bullies, the Bored, the Weak, and the Pathetic*

mamazen's picture

Guess I'm stupid then. How

Guess I'm stupid then.

How nice of you.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

monkeyseemonkeydo's picture

Sorry, but if you agree to

Sorry, but if you agree to this insane trip with a 4yr old, then you, you would be. Nobody in their right mind would plan something like this with their OWN children, let alone 3 young kids including bio/steps.

Hey, do what you do, let us know how wrong we were after the fact Eye-wink

Me? I'd take the $1plus budget and go somewhere close to where you live w/the 3 kids and have HIS family come fly to see him and you guys. What's the rush?

If I'm going to travel that long I better end up in an island w/top notch care and not at the in-laws/family place Barf!

—

*Cyber Bullies, the Bored, the Weak, and the Pathetic*

mamazen's picture

You're making pretty sweeping

You're making pretty sweeping generalizations about the state of mind of people who travel with children...including others on this board.. how sad

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

monkeyseemonkeydo's picture

OKdokey....I DO have and have

OKdokey....I DO have and have travelled with children-a lot, my kids were on planes before 2 months old...so??

I'm telling you, if you think your OWN kids will be ok w/a trip this long in a car, taking care of 'stepbrother' you are sorely mistaken. It's no skin off my back- I'm trying to talk some sense into you because this sounds like a NIGHTMARE.

—

*Cyber Bullies, the Bored, the Weak, and the Pathetic*

mamazen's picture

Really? You're trying to

Really? You're trying to talk sense into me?

So far I've seen you write that you agree with the thought that my story is fake...that I'm stupid...what YOU would do with the money instead...and that since it's possible I might split with BF because of the trip, it's a bad idea...

where's the sense you're supposedly trying to talk into me? I've not seen it.

If you have things to point out that would make the trip a nightmare, then point them out...please - because the only thing you've written that was even remotely associated to my OP is that you think my kids won't be down for taking a turn at entertaining SS in the car.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Disneyfan's picture

Speaking of stupid. I hope

Speaking of stupid. I hope the child's, mother is smart enough to tell the nutty father that there's no way in hell she's allowing her son to take part in this mess.

mamazen's picture

What's the problem with the

What's the problem with the father wanting to take his son on a trip? The mother has already agreed to it... why does it make her stupid to let him?

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

mamazen's picture

Yes, he would go anyway. I

Yes, he would go anyway. I told him I didn't have a problem with it.

If I hadn't been able to get the time off, he would have.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

ESMOD's picture

That is insane... I don't

That is insane... I don't even know of a ferry system with such long travel times in the US. I mean, the NC ferry system I think it is maybe 2-3 hours tops!

There is no way that kid will not meltdown at least once during that trip. I would not go.. seriously.. almost child abuse. lol.

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Agreed. All I can imagine is

Agreed. All I can imagine is that they are basically doing the Iditarod, dog sledding out from their remote cabin in the Interior of Alaska, taking a ferry to Vancouver and driving to Sacramento. Jaysus - what a crock.

I have no idea what the actual times are between these places. It just seems far fetched.

LadyFace's picture

I think the OP is in Canada.

I think the OP is in Canada.

—

Keep on keepin' on!

zerostepdrama's picture

I'm really curious as to

I'm really curious as to where she can even be going! Greenland?

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

advice.only's picture

I'm confused is it 16 hours

I'm confused is it 16 hours total? Or 16 hours of driving followed by 7 plus 7?

If it's 16 total be prepared to stop every 2-3 hours to allow the kid to get out, don't care how many movies you have the kid will scream within a few minutes of not wanting to be strapped in anymore.

If it's 30 hours total you are going to need to be stopping and spending the night places, you might need to look into cost of airfare versus what the cost of driving/hotel will cost and weigh that option.

Driving that far with young children can be done, but it's going to be very trying, especially if you are being brought along solely to keep the kid entertained the whole time.

—

Call me Chardonay

mamazen's picture

I'm not being brought along

I'm not being brought along solely to keep the kid entertained the whole time.

My kids are going too. We have 2 weeks booked for this road trip.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Luckyone's picture

I have a very close friend

I have a very close friend who is a pediatrician. She took her young son to Switzerland. I told her she was nuts, that I had travelled with young children and it was hell. She said "I have already tested benadryl on him to make sure it makes him sleepy and doesn't have the opposite effect".

The point is, even if you are a pediatrician and deal with kids all day, you will still sedate your child because it sucks ass to travel with children!!!

Good luck

mamazen's picture

LOL, it's on SO's short

LOL, it's on SO's short list... I'm not touching that one... lol

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

mamazen's picture

ESMOD that's one option of

ESMOD that's one option of the ferry...the other option is about 16 hours long. No fricken way.

I know... it's ridiculous, but it is what it is.

We're not going in the next few weeks... we're looking at going at the end of the summer. The plan is to take all the kids, yes. SS is pretty good in the car, honestly... he likes looking at things - but the longest I've been on a drive with him is an hour.

He behaves (mostly) at our house, now. He acts like a typical nearly 4 year old. He's not in diapers anymore, just overnight pull ups.

From where we live (which is about 2 hours west of Montreal, Quebec) to North Sydney, Nova Scotia, where the ferry we have to take is about a 16 hours drive. That doesn't, of course, count stop times, which I'm fully aware will be numerous.

The ferry in North Sydney, can take you to two locations in Newfoundland: Port au Basques, which is the 7 hour ferry ride... or to Argentia, which takes about 16 hours.

Driving from Port-au basques to where we're going, is about 7 hours of driving... and driving from Argentia to where we're going, is about 5.5 hours.

We'd be leaving around early afternoon... stopping in Quebec City (about 4 hours away from Ottawa) for dinner, maybe a little sight seeing.

Ideally, we'd leave from Quebec City around 7pm and drive straight through to Fredericton... which is another 6 or so hours, arriving around 1am.... and stop for the night. The hope is that SS will fall asleep in the car (he typically does after about half an hour when we're driving after 7pm (but we might stop earlier, though, depends how tired we are, how cranky everyone is, and how many times we've stopped...We'd leave Fredericton (or wherever we stopped) after breakfast, and drive a few hours (2) stopping in Moncton for brunch... then drive to Truro (2 hours) and stop for some leg stretching etc... maybe lunch...then it's about 3 hours to the ferry.

We plan to take the ferry "overnight" - there are cabins available to book. The departure we're looking at is 5:45pm. (the other options are 11:45am and 11:45pm)

We'd land in Port-au Basques somewhere around 1, 1:30am... then it's 7 hours or so of driving from Port-Au Basques to where we're going. We'd likely take the time to sleep on the boat.

2am - 5 or 6am, stop from breakfast and leg stretching... then drive on through, arriving mid morning... we can take our time that morning.

Yes, it's a big trip... but I've done it before (with my kids) and it went really great, travel wise.

16 hours driving
7 hours ferry
7 hours driving

oh and same on the way back too... haha...

Cost wise, driving is much cheaper than flight tickets.

Flights for the 6 of us would be just over 6000$.
Driving, accomodations/food, ferry is projected around 1000$

And yes, he's paying.

No need for your rudeness, Clevergirlfriend99. Take your sled dogs and shove them... the distance and drive times are no more a crock than driving to Florida, which is a 24 hour drive from where I live. I included the cities, you can look it up if you don't believe them. And seriously? dickmatized? Grow up.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

ESMOD's picture

Well, the good thing on the

Well, the good thing on the ferry is that you won't be stuck in the car right? I know some ferry's also have sleeping accommodations, so maybe that might be a good upgrade so everyone can nap?

Honestly though..my parents shlepped us kids around since my dad was military.

We were in Okinawa when I was 4.. so my brother would have been like 3.5 then. Then another trip to Japan when I was 9. That involved a cross country flight to San Fransisco and then another super long flight to Japan. I think my parents had a lot to deal with, but we were used to moving every year.. so spent a decent amount of time in cars traveling.

We have a place in FL which is a 12-14 hour drive and we took the SD's.. the older one hated the ride.. YSD didn't mind as much and now she is old enough to take a turn at the wheel!

mamazen's picture

The ferry is like a mini

The ferry is like a mini cruise ship, to be honest. Restaurant, bar, games room, theatre, kid zone... and yes, there are cabins.

My kids are used to travelling. I took them on a very similar road trip 2 years ago (alone) and they went to Prince Edward Island with their dad the year before.

We don't have a specific time constraint to go - we have 2 weeks... so we can leave when we want...stop where we want... as long as we're at the ferry at the time our spots are booked for.

I'm not worried about my kids travelling... but I'm concerned that we're going to be listening to a meltdown more often than is necessary if we don't have a fully packed bag of fun for SS lol

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Cocktail..Hour..Please's picture

Sounds like a fun road trip

Sounds like a fun road trip to me. Enjoy yourselves. And of course SS is going to have difficulty now and again, he's little and it's a long trip. You're just gonna have to be patient with him.

—

smash a pineapple, smash some mint, boil some sugar in water, find some really good vodka, add some club soda....and there ya go. How to get thru step life.

moeilijk's picture

What about flying into Gander

What about flying into Gander and taking a bus from there? A bus is *usually* better than driving because you can move more freely. Still pricey, sure... but I'm assuming you'll be driving a guzzler or taking two cars to travel with 6 people and all their stuff for two weeks, so it might be worth it.

—

---------
~ I've seen a lot of turds in my day, I may be able to identify the mammal of origin. ~ Said taushalove in possibly the most helpfully hilarious post ever.

mamazen's picture

We've looked at the costs

We've looked at the costs flying into either Gander, St-John's or DeerLake, from either Toronto, Ottawa, or Montreal; they are all approximately the same price.

Originally when SO proposed the trip it was just going to be him and I, and we were going to fly. It's evolved since then... and although I kinda wish it ws back to just him and I, this could be fun too... or it could be disastrous, and end with me saying F THIS and shlepping the kids back with me 10 days early... lol.

We're driving a guzzler... lol Actually it's decent on mileage. We can get 600-700km highway driving (which it is) at about 50$/60$ to fill up. (Although, 2 cars actually sounds like a better alternative.... hahahaha)

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Willow2010's picture

Suggestions wanted

Suggestions wanted for:
a) keeping SS quiet/entertained
b) keeping my sanity
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ok..not sure how this post got so far out of wack but I have a few suggestions to your actual question. Lol

A). Ugh…a 4 year old for that long. Lol. The DVD is a good thing. Maybe some type of games the kids can play in the back seat. I spy games for sure. Lots of snacks.

B). Not sure how to keep your sanity. I would lose mine for sure! Maybe a head set for you with a book on tape to listen to? I love books on tape! Makes a long drive so much easier!

Cocktail..Hour..Please's picture

Books on tape, that's a great

Books on tape, that's a great idea.

My ex and I drove from Florida to San Francisco with my seven-year-old and two-year-old at the time. We listened to a lot of blues clues on his DVD. I still have that song stuck in my head 15 years later. Lol

—

smash a pineapple, smash some mint, boil some sugar in water, find some really good vodka, add some club soda....and there ya go. How to get thru step life.

mamazen's picture

I ask myself that each and

I ask myself that each and every time people go off ranting and trying to offer unsolicited advice on things that have nothing to do with the questions.... lol

It's been so long since my kids were young enough to require near constant entertainment when travelling... I have those I spy games on my list for sure... coloring books... a couple movies... some books... portable boardgames... I'm bringing my tablet, which is loaded with all kinds of kid friendly games...

Books on tape sound fun - I've never actually made use of one... maybe I'll get Stepmonster... hahaha

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

moeilijk's picture

Look into some kind of

Look into some kind of portable lap-desk/tray with raised edges so that whatever you give him (or whoever is using it) will stay on the tray and be flat enough to colour or write on. Maybe magnetic if you're giving him magnetic toys or letters or something.

—

---------
~ I've seen a lot of turds in my day, I may be able to identify the mammal of origin. ~ Said taushalove in possibly the most helpfully hilarious post ever.

mamazen's picture

Magnetic sounds cool.... we

Magnetic sounds cool....

we have this little lap pillow with a board on one side... but it doesn't have raised edges.

Actually this post made me think that maybe playdough might be a good thing to bring too.... IF it can stay on the tray.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

moeilijk's picture

It won't stay on the tray.

It won't stay on the tray. You know that. But this doesn't stick - although it's not good for the environment: https://www.amazon.com/Educational-Insights-1805-Playfoam/dp/B000EREGRM

—

---------
~ I've seen a lot of turds in my day, I may be able to identify the mammal of origin. ~ Said taushalove in possibly the most helpfully hilarious post ever.

mamazen's picture

yes, I know that. lol That's

yes, I know that. lol

That's interesting - I've seen it in stores before... I'll check it out

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

moeilijk's picture

A friend of mine who travels

A friend of mine who travels a lot with her FOUR children has it. It's cool because it's sticky without sticking to clothes or furniture. I still would be unlikely to purchase it myself, but I can see the appeal.

—

---------
~ I've seen a lot of turds in my day, I may be able to identify the mammal of origin. ~ Said taushalove in possibly the most helpfully hilarious post ever.

monkeyseemonkeydo's picture

Here's the thing- you may

Here's the thing- you may well end up split up from this guy by the time you're back. Ask around how many of us were nearly at that place after vacationing with skids w/MUCH shorter trips then that one. Nope...bad idea. VERY bad idea.

—

*Cyber Bullies, the Bored, the Weak, and the Pathetic*

mamazen's picture

then so be it. Does it really

then so be it. Does it really matter to you? You seem to believe I'm fake, and stupid... so what difference does it really make to you?

Posting your distaste for my choices more than once on the same post really isn't doing more to convince me that you're correct. You've made your opinion clear, move on.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

DaizyDuke's picture

My BS was 4 when we went on a

My BS was 4 when we went on a 10 hour road trip to the beach. He did AWESOME! He had never been in the car more than 2 hours before, but we went with my SIL, so my 2 nieces were in the car too and actually they all did great, I think because they had each other to entertain? They had their IPads.. which they traded and passed around, then they'd sleep a bit, etc. we only had to stop twice for potty breaks in the 10 hours so we made really good time.

I think your ferry ride will be a nice break to the car driving, since they will be able to get out and stretch their legs and play games and stuff. No matter what.. that's a LOT of driving and I, personally would NOT want to do it.. even WITHOUT kids and I would be super apprehensive about doing it with a 4 year old. But whatever, sometimes they surprise us!

—

ღIt' all fun and games until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm ღ
ツ I wish I was as thin as my patience ツ

mamazen's picture

That's what I'm thinking...

That's what I'm thinking... that because there will be 6 of us in the vehicle, we can take turns helping to keep his mind off how crappy a ride it is if we need to.

We plan to do a far bit of driving when we hope SS will be asleep, too, which Im' sure everyone in the car will appreciate lol

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

sanecatlady's picture

More like sedating me if I

More like sedating me if I was on a ferry for 7 hours! Yikes!

Good luck and God speed!

mamazen's picture

lol, I might be eyeing the

lol, I might be eyeing the benadryl for myself after a few hours...

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Ninji's picture

When my skids were 4 and 6 DH

When my skids were 4 and 6 DH took them to visit his family. It's about a 12hr drive. He left late in the evening so they slept most of the way and he had a DVD player thing on the back of the head rest. I didn't go because we had just started dating but he said they did really good.

mamazen's picture

We plan to do a lot of the

We plan to do a lot of the driving when SS is sleeping, taking turns.

We will need to sleep though... but we'll be stopping for the night somewhere.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

zerostepdrama's picture

Okay I'm still in shock that

Okay I'm still in shock that this is a real trip... Because I don't even think I could do this without kids... LOL!

We drove to FL when BS was 4 and it was a 16+ hour drive. We left at night, he slept through most of the night and we did minimum stopping. We had a portable dvd player, books. He played with his action figures. I remember him being really good on the trip.

My suggestions would be:

Books, coloring books, portable dvd player, tablet/iPad. Also google travel games. I got a Hang Man one for BS. We actually take it with us when we go out to eat. I think I got it at Target.

How old are your kids and what will keep them busy?

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

mamazen's picture

lol, oh it's real. crazy,

lol, oh it's real. crazy, right?

We might also drive more at night, it really depends on how things go. It's not for another 5 or so months, so things can change until then of course...

My kids are older - they're cool just sitting with a book and their ipods. It's what they do all day when they're home, anyway. lol

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

zerostepdrama's picture

Suggestion for older kids and

Suggestion for older kids and even you and SO... Mad Libs. We have them and they are fun for traveling.

—

"I don't take stuff personal from a person who doesn't know me personally."

"It so doesn't matter who likes us... WE like Us."
-Pom Pom Squad

mamazen's picture

oooh that's a good one... my

oooh that's a good one... my daughter also got that game where you put that thing in your mouth and try to talk...I forget what it's called...but it's hilarious..

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

TwoOfUs's picture

My parents carted us all over

My parents carted us all over on long trips to visit family when we were young. Never this long...but Massachusetts to SC, Georgia, or Florida. Mass to Ohio, etc.

They always went to bed early the night before the trip, packed lots of blankets and pillows, and then left at 3 am or so. That way, we usually slept the first 5-6 hours of the trip...

MorriMom's picture

That brings back memories for

That brings back memories for me. My parents did the same thing. Smiling

—

- Qualified resident goose
- Zealots normally say that this tastes like chicken. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. There are no loose ends
- Remember, if nothing will count you out, urine.

mamazen's picture

That's a good plan too - I

That's a good plan too - I don't think we even really talked about leaving that early... hmm, thanks!

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

sanecatlady's picture

Yes! We did this too. And

Yes! We did this too.

And there was never any stopping. And food was packed in coolers to eat on the way.

downsouthinTX's picture

is there any way that before

is there any way that before the trip you guys can take a shorter trip with SS and your kids?
maybe a weekend trip 3-4 days and maybe 6-7 hours drive each way?
this way everyone can see the dynamics of each other and the travel and you can get a better idea of what works and doesnt work when it comes to SS.

also the internet (Pinterest) is full of crazy DIY travel ideas for his age group.

mamazen's picture

We're planning on a few

We're planning on a few weekend camping trips this summer, 3 hours away.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

twoviewpoints's picture

There is no way I'd go on

There is no way I'd go on this travel plan . That extra $5,000 ($6,000 flight vs $1,000 back of a snail) would be worth every penny to me or I'd simply stay home.

One kid four or one kid 12 ( let alone even more kids of various ages) would be a total 'no, not happening'.

While I hope, if you do go, that you all have a pleasant and fun trip there is no way I'd even consider it. I love to travel. I travel with children...but there's traveling than there's traveling. This isn't my idea of traveling.

mamazen's picture

I'd rather this kind of trip,

I'd rather this kind of trip, with kids, than going somewhere tropical... to me this isn't really a real vacation, it's more of a family trip.

A vacation for me would be going down south... resort... drinking... WITHOUT kids. Eye-wink

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

notsobad's picture

We used to do long road trips

We used to do long road trips with my mom when I was younger. My youngest brother is 10 years younger than me, so my other brother and I would entertain him while mom did all the driving. There were no iPads or DVD players, lol.

The suggestion to leave early is how my Mom did it after she and my Dad divorced. She'd pack the car the night before and then wake us up (around 4-4:30am) we'd grab our pillows and head to the car in our jammies. We'd stop for breakfast around 7ish, eat, stretch, change and then back on the road. Then we'd stop around 2pm, always a place with a pool. We'd play, relax, watch TV in bed and eat pizza (which never happened at home!) and usually fall asleep early.
Then up early, around 5am and off again.

My only suggestion would be to pack gravol and a bucket. We only had one incident of road sickness but the bucket was a god send. It held normally held toys.

To all the naysayers, those trips are some of my favourite family memories. We sang songs, told jokes, played games and laughed a lot on those trips!
This trip could be an amazing bonding time. You just never know.

mamazen's picture

A BUCKET! OMG, that's one

A BUCKET! OMG, that's one that never even crossed my mind...I never needed one with my kids. Thank you!

I have pretty fond memories of travelling with my parents, too. It was a 6 hours drive to see my grandparents, and we'd go fairly often, most long weekends... we'd always stop for lunch and ice cream at the same place. Still now, 30 years later, when I go visit my family up North, I stop there.

It could be a disaster for sure... but it could also be a fantastic trip!

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

HeavenLike's picture

So maybe the kid's mom should

So maybe the kid's mom should go on the trip, so the kid can have bonding with his family.

Do you see - your Mom took you. Not your Mom and her squeeze of six months plus squeeze's kids.

mamazen's picture

my mother remarried... I have

my mother remarried... I have step sisters.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

HeavenLike's picture

So?

So?

mamazen's picture

so - your logic doesn't

so - your logic doesn't work.

My mom took me.
She also took her husband, and his daughters.

SO's taking his son.
He's also taking me, and my kids.

What's your point?

Family isn't always so black and white as mom, dad, and kids, you know.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

Livingoutloud's picture

I think she meant one thing

I think she meant one thing is to travel with parents and step parents, but the other with someone you recently started dating. Many people wouldn't even introduce their date to their children that soon let alone play house and go on long trips with little kids. I personally think it's not healthy for children. It's of course your choices what to do. I personally don't know how you don't see the difference.

My parents took me and my brother all over the world, both i and exDH travelled with DD all over but we didn't bring recent date on those trips. Recently acquired boyfriends or girlfriends aren't stepparents.

Just because you move people in that quick doesn't mean it's a family now. What if someone moves a person in two weeks into dating, would that make them stepparent? By this logic simply having sex with a parent makes one a stepparent.

I am not saying what you are doing is wrong. It's just very different from parent and stepparent going on vacation with kids. Just not the same

mamazen's picture

Time isn't what makes it

Time isn't what makes it possible to define a family, obviously.

I know people don't become step-parents 2 weeks after dating, there's a lot more to it than that.

I know some don't agee, but WE consider ourselves family. WE consider each other steps to each others' kids. In the end, that's what matters...

Regardless of how much time has passed since we got together... be it 6 months, 2 years or 10... it's still about the trip, not the relationship

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

anotherstep2's picture

I would like to point out

I would like to point out that the "pot of gold" at the end of this odyssey is meeting a bunch of people whom you do not know and presumably want to impress as potential future in-laws plus keeping your own children reasonably entertained and well-behaved. So there is some stress to consider. And at the end of those days of fun, you have the whole trip in reverse to do.

I get that you are determined to do this. I just hope you really understand that you are taking a real gamble with your relationship by putting it to such a major test so early.

Tuff Noogies's picture

that is a VERY good point,

that is a VERY good point, something OP would do well to think about.

family road trips can be fun. they can also be unpredictable.

—

"I am the nicest person you will ever meet until you try to f*ck over somebody I love. Then? I'm your worst f'ing nightmare." - Former.

Famuky is looming at me ark.

"His eyes said different though...."

mamazen's picture

That is very true - I'm not

That is very true - I'm not super worried about how my kids will behave, they're pretty reliable in terms of manners etc...

I've been talking here and there with some of my SO's family, through FB. He doesn't have an account, so he asked if I'd be willing to put his siblings on there so he could send them some pictures of his son through me... no problem.

As far as whether this will be hell on the relationship - you may very well be right... and yes, it's a risk I'm willing to take. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out... but if it does... it's a hell of a test to pass Smiling

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."

anotherstep2's picture

Best of luck to you. My only

Best of luck to you. My only suggestion would be to make sure you have a stash of cash available just in case so if things go sideways you have the means to just bail. If it turns out that you don't need it, great - no you a nest egg! But coming back and being stuck with each other when you have decided to call it quits after days of misery would be hell on earth.

mamazen's picture

lol, I understand that...

lol, I understand that... when I split with my kids father, we continued to live in the same house for several months. Not fun.

—

"Stepchild is a monster."
"Stepchild's just a kid! You should love Step-child as your own!"
"If stepchild behaves as if it was raised as my own, maybe I would."