Not sure why, but I strongly dislike all of my step-kids.
Okay, so I am in my mid 20s, but when my SC moved in with us I was only 18. They were in middle school. I met them before they moved in, but they lived with their mother. My BF has 3 other BM before me. He 1 daughter with with BM, another daughter with a different BM, and 2 sons with a different BM. I currently have 2 kids by him. If only I was smart enough to understand that BMs and SC are a f**** headache
The part I am unsure about is why I feel so much dislike of any of his kids. I don't mind him talking to the, on the phone, but then that leads to them wanting to visit. I cringe when he says things like " my kid might come down and visit for spring break, summer, or winter break. I feels weird that I hate them soooo much. The reason I feel weird is because I hear and see many people (woman) who adore, love, and would do whatever for their SC. Ever heard the saying " I love your kids as if they were mine"? Well, I hate 'em and if I could I would ban them from my home permanently.
The part that I am sure about is that I hate SC and I plan to warn my children of men who have kids already. Its a curse Everything is not for everybody. One summer, he decided to invite 3 of his kids to stay with us for the summer. I seriously was thinking about ending our relationship due to this. I stayed in my room a lot and tried to avoid them as much as possible. My BF's mother decided to let her grandkids visit with her for 1 night. I prayed it was for the whole week. They did prefer to be there which I was glad about. The stupid grandmom could've kept 'em all summer.
So now my BF tells me today 1 of his sons is coming down for spring break and every bone in my body just cringed at the thought. Now, I'm not a mean or bad SM. I have rules in my house. His kids kind of don't like rules or people correcting them of their behavior. It sounds so cruel, but I have always wished his kids would all move more than 2,000 miles away.
I have even tried to seem unwelcoming to make them feel like never coming back.
A few things I have learned though. When his kids call and he tries to hand me the phone to talk to them I would previously talk to them. Wont make that mistake again. I do not talk to them on the phone, I do not ask about them, I do not even mention their name. I am 100% happy when they are not living in my state or in my house. I am 100% miserable even when I hear they MIGHT visit.
I am so happy they are all almost 18. WHY? Because while they are minors I have to deal with BM who call talking shit about child support and whatnot.
I have no guilt. I may have a weird feeling that what I feel is abnormal, but I D*** Sure dont feel bad, guilty, or wrong. I hate his kids and I wish they clearly understood how unwelcome they are in my home.
Peep this...When my BF would leave his phone unlock I would block his BM number so she/they could not call/text around spring break, winter break, or summer...cruel? i dont care. If I had 100% control of his facebook and phone his kids would never come to visit.
"I am so happy they are all
"I am so happy they are all almost 18"
Four kids, by three different women, ALL almost 18.
My, what a busy man before he met you.
Ouch.... I would say your
Ouch.... I would say your decision to have children with this guy was clouded by your youth at the time. You do realize that the Skids are not the problem ... right? Your baby daddy is the issue.
Take care of you, take care of your kids. They will need all of the help that you can provide to overcome the curse of their shallow and polluted paternal gene pool.
Good luck.
"Because while they are
"Because while they are minors I have to deal with BM who call talking shit about child support and whatnot"
You do not have to deal with any of this... it's not your problem. Simply separate finances, keep your own money and your BF can look after his 5 children, you are only responsible for 2/5.... if BF doe snot have money so be it, you are not paying.
You knew he had 3 children from 3 different woman when you started dating, you did not see the red flags, all you can do now, if brats comes for a visit, ignore them, go on with your life and entertain your children, ignore the skids, it's their fathers responsibility to entertain them not yours, do not hide in your room... take control of your house and make sure BF gets them to follow the rules, they are late teens, not babies, you can tell them to knock it off, your house your rules
The best thing you can do for
The best thing you can do for yourself is become financially independent of this situation; you need to be able to walk away from your misery and pay your own bills. Stop having babies with this man and make certain go to school. Finish school as quickly as possible and get yourself and your kids out of this chaos. These kids are no better after 18; there is no happy age. Wow, that is a load of kids and ex wives (or something), at a much too early age.
80% of us have not mastered any positive relationship with our step anything. So....you are not unusual at all. You need to start preparing now to exit this mess, as it sounds like the man you are living with does not consider your feelings--so now you have to do that!
All I can say to this is "how
All I can say to this is "how would you feel if you were in the Skids or BM's shoes?"
I don't care for my SS's 99% of the time either. And I too get very anxious when they come to visit (only because is always involves them wanting money)
But how would you feel if you and DH split up and your children's BM made them feel unwelcome or blocked your phone number??
You would be furious. Sounds like they don't come very often.
One thing you really need to take a good hard look at is...why does your DH have so many kids with so many different women? He is the common denominator in all of those failed relationships.....Just something to consider.